I haven’t hadany trouble finding satisfying male doms to role play with, some of whom are amazingly intuitive, knowing just what to say and when to say it. A few say they have several subs, but I must be logging on when those subs aren’t around, because I have only once had to share a dom with another sub…and that actually turned out to be quite fun.

I play with many different doms when I’m on SL, though I have one with whom I’ve connected more deeply than the rest. Instead of being lost in a stable of subs, sometimes I find myself inundated with eager doms wanting to tp me away so they can have me to themselves. And even though these interactions in SL seemed like just sexplay at first, I learned that it can be more, much more, on both sides, when we get away from any rigid, scripted sense of what BDSM is supposed to be.

‘When two people are alone together and one of them is naked and tied up, and the other is standing over them holding whips and various torture implements, this is not the time to have a serious mismatch of expectations. ‘
Jay Wiseman, SM-101 quoted in “Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns”

Now that that’s overwith, all I really wanted to say about this post is that I dislike the word “Vanilla”. It’s patronizing and arrogant to assume that those who don’t practice BDSM are in some way uninteresting. Word to whoever posted about that. Peace.

Lemme correct a couple of things:

“1)muslim hatred of christians through the crusades, which intentionally KILLED thousands…”

Actually, Muslims started that one. At the time they were spreading out all over the place trying conquer everything because they thought “Allah said so”.

Christianity had the right idea in fighting them. Where they fucked up was when they became divided, i.e. The Catholics calling a Crusade against Constantinople which was an Eastern Orthodox place.

“2) silent consent of the slave trade, causing the forced migration of many africans towards the colonies, and if you don’t believe that there wasn’t scars or deaths from that, you aren’t just a bigot, but a racist.”

However, there were many Christians involved in the Abolitionist movement. Conversely, there were also plenty of atheists involved in the slave trade.

“3) the silent support of the nazi’s during WW2, hmmm, near extermination of an entire race of humanity…..”

Serious critics of the wartime Pope have never said that there was “silent consent”. Their actual criticism is that “he didn’t do enough”…not the same thing. The Vatican’s response to the criticism? The Vatican has always been adamant that Pius XII used quiet persuasion and back channels to save the lives of thousands of Jews.

Somebody should’ve Godwined you but I didn’t feel like doing it. :p

“4) the objectification of women, even in “pure” christianity, I.E. catholicism, women can’t even practice the rites of celebration….”

Objectification of women has also been extensively practiced by atheists, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, and every other group.

Craig, blanket assertions that “Christianity(or whatever other religion) is resposible for (fill in the blank)” are as fallacious as when Christians say that “atheism is resposible for (fill in the blank)”. It isn’t religion, or atheism, or agnosticism, or deism that is “responsible”. No, it’s individual human beings who are “responsible” for their own actions. It’d be nice if both you and Prokofy could figure this out.

no then on to the “support group issue… 12 step programs are a christianity based organization that is federally funded to cue addiction by believing in god….. man you need a fact checker like i need a spelling checker, which is pretty badly…

BDSM, and D/s are two separate things, and as a Retired, repeat Retired “Master” there is a difference between what YOU view as the lifestyle, and the actuality that is the lifestyle…

if a sub is abused, she has a horrid, disrespectful Dom/me, and THAT is the truth.

Good article on the different parameters of RL and SL BDSM, Victorria. One thing I’ve noticed about SL-style D/s is that the abundance of subs and relative shortage of dom(mes) is that there is often a pyramid structure with a dom on top, subs below and then the subs also having subs. I do wonder how the subs at the bottom of the structure can possibly find a satisfactory experience if their dom(me) is also accountable to someone else as a sub.

Pat Robertson, even if you don’t like his ideology or religion, or find him insensitive to America’s wrongs in the world, doesn’t leave scars on people’s bodies; he doesn’t make homes break up; he doesn’t cause ruin and force thousands of people to form support groups just to get over the experience.

And nobody judges Christianity by Pat Robertson, or any other figure they might find odious, say, because of anti-gay sentiment. Because Christianity, whatever you want to say about its evils over the years, has done more good than harm and been an inspiration for civilization. It isn’t destructive like a cult, and like some more extremist forms of other religions. The extremism of Christianity isn’t generally found in the modern era.

Meanwhile, BDSM has left a trail of tears literally everywhere, broken wills, minds, bodies. Pretty awful stuff. To try to make a moral equivalence of say, Pat Robertson and BDSM or jihadists, or to do this usual extremist Internet meme that says “the KKK is a function of Christianity” (that’s wierd)merely because the KKK is situated in a Christian culture in general — that’s just moral blindness. But then, we’re used to that at the Herald.

People whose psyches and inner beings have been damaged (so many BDSM types are victims of child molestation or sexual abuse of some kind) who desire a replay of this over and over are not fulfilling some deep need in some legitimate way; they are re-enacting a dysfunction and perpetrating the damage — on themselves, and others.

People who believe they must restrict their relationships to these kind of dominations or submissions and abuse are the ones with the narrow minds, not me : )

1) In most BDSM based gaming scenarios – one of the problems is finding male players who have the least inkling of what the game is about, and how to write in such a way that their co-players don’t expire from boredom while waiting for each response. As others above have observed, many many many male players are in it strictly for macho or ego plumping reasons or to get their sexual jollies off without any interest in entertaining the woman who is so entertaining them, or in giving her an experience at least as good as the one she is giving him

1a) As a sub-clause to the above: I played in both Gor and non-Gor based games. In either case, there usually is a great deal of stuff that the female slave is required to know and generally there is a lot of competition for writing out, for example, the perfect dance or the perfect serve etc. When a slave writer receives two sentences in response to three paragraphs, that writer quickly starts looking for a replacement Master or Mistress.

2) Also speaking from my own experience, the internet creates its own set of problems. Frequently, we are not all playing from the same time zone. A Master or Mistress may collect a stable of perhaps 3 slaves in order to have someone to co-write with regardless of time zone. The problem with this is that if two slave writers are on at the same time as the Master or Mistress writer, now those two slave writers are in a virtual competition with each other for one on one time with the Master or Mistress writer. Often then, the slave writers are required to perform with each other or it is understood that they should be affectionate with each other. IMO, this causes a lot of problems especially if one or both of those slave writers are not at all inclined that way.

3)It’s my opinion that players in a BDSM based game or situation should speak to each other honestly Out of Character (ooc) to determine if their needs and desires as relates to that game or those characters are complimentary. It can be very tempting on the parts of both parties to simply latch on to one another in order to avoid the dreaded, “I have no one to play with” syndrome. Plus, many games, including Gor often carry a “mandatory collaring” unspoken clause. Meaning that if the slave character were really in Gor, for example, he or she would not be able to say that they refused to be collared. The element of force is quite prevalent in that world-scheme. Naturally a writer should have every right to refuse to write with a given co-author, but many games demand that the writer accede to a mandatory collaring type rule. I think this alone leads to a great deal of unhappiness among subs.

This is probably no use to anyone, but these are thoughts I’ve had on games like this for some time so thanks for giving me a place to put them.

Just a thought!