But virtual worlds do contain ghosts. They haunt where no one dares to look, in the “silence” of your “signs”, in the shabby corners of design bugs, in the detritus of forgotten, tawdry simscapes, in essays long unpublished, in photos of forgotten “friends”. Is a ghost or two of yours there, too? If you had not played with cyberspace, cyberspace would have found it necessary to invent you. After all, mendacity can not forget the shadows it seeks to negate. This is mimesis. And cyberspace is indeed hung on lineaments of digital mendacity.

All the same, the ghosts… That’s karma, I reckon?

My partner and I were lead to Carmen just last month through our personal research. And though only a tiny remnant of her life is available to us, that peal has resonated with an unmistakeable clarity, even if its meaning is not yet manifest. Already, Carmen is immanent with our lives.

i remember being shocked, a mere “newbie” stock skin and all in the presence of such an intriguing woman. listening to her and wandering speak i felt so out of place and ignorant of this new world i had just been “born” into.

after a few more visits, she and i began to speak more, with me asking most of the questions. we shared a love for music and for wandering (as a friend) and art, literature and even fashion. recently being assigned as a photographer for wanderings, “black library” i shot a photo of “montie” and after giving it to her, she asked me to take more and invited me to see the beginnings of her new sim, “shivar”… it was a passion she held and carried deeply in her. i loved our many “skype” conversations about so many subjects and always was warmed by her encouragement to me.

one day she invited me to decorate her beloved shivar and even paid me! it was my first real job. she treated me like royalty, giving me an office, beautiful things and one day she told me, “you know you’re the princess of this castle don’t you callie? and i said, “me? why?” and i remember her saying, “you are, you always will be…”

i was so happy because she was so excited and i found a game where a queen made me a princess! and i didn’t have to kill anyone or shoot people.

she had our dresses for the opening made by famous designers, mine was made by sachi vixen. i could NOT believe how gorgeous it was and how much montie cared that i LOVED it, and i did!

she then commissioned me to take portraits of all the shivari tribe and it was quite an honor. they are still there today including the one i took of her.

she gave me my first shop “logos, photography” and encouraged me when i tried my horrible hand at designing, saying, “oh sweetie you stay at it, you’re gonna go far!”

she was always a joy to speak with and we shared many hours on skype, in chats and she just had a graciousness and warmth about her that i shall never forget.

when pighead was doing his book it was she who told me, “caLLie, pighead wants you in his book.” she worked hard to connect us and was always cheering on those close to her.

i heard of her death today and was saddened greatly. i wont forget her, ever, and the impact she made on my SL and RL. she was an amazing woman and i wish all the love and comfort possible to her friends and family.

i love you montie, my queen!

xoxo,

caLLie, your little princess