My answer at the time was that in table-top RPGs, the GM has a certain amount of responsibility to the players: to know their limits, not push too hard on people’s sensitivities, and to just stop the game if a player is too troubled by it. And usually, RPG plots stay clear of sensitive areas.

But in VW’s like Second Life, people dive right in to really sensitive things that arouse deep emotions, and there’s almost nothing at all to stop them if things go wrong.

I have a kind of horrified fascination with Second Life, because it’s such a train-wreck at all levels, from the bug-ridden software, through LL’s business model right through to the sometimes dangerous psychological effect it has on people.

It seems to me that a lot of people who are troubled in RL come to virtual worlds with the hope that it will help them. And there are indeed many positive things in virtual worlds. But whether, in the long run, these worlds are good for people who were troubled to start with, I’m not sure. I’m really not sure.

Someone else, be it someone she met in person, or someone on another service, would have come along and been the same type of person Riz was and is.

This same situation unfolds all the time, with litterally all involved and related to the people within such incidents all having the same responsibilities and all to blame.

In the novels, Gorean men loved and cherished their women. There was very little rape or other mistreatment to be seen. The SL implementation of Gor is said to be much the same, so your own stereotyping of SL Goreans is probably wrong.

I wonder if the appeal of Gor is not so much the lifestyle and the D/s aspect as it is the rich interaction within the relationship. If all you do is take your partner dancing every other night and engage in a little cybersex now and then, it would be hard to become too attached. But if you’re interacting to the point where one person is controlling the other and the other is aching to be controlled, there’s much more interaction and both partners get to know each other better. And of course when one partner disconnects from SL for a couple of weeks without notice, it becomes that much more devastating to the other partner.

I believe Carmen would have ended up the same way even if she had never discovered Second Life. There are people who can’t be rescued, no matter how hard you try. This article is very thought-provoking regarding the danger of immersing yourself too deeply in the virtual world. We all have a limited span of time on this planet, and to waste any of it arguing passionately about whether the virtual walls of your virtual clubhouse should have a virtual color of red or blue seems to me to be a waste. Maybe we can all use this article to stimulate an examination of our own lives, so we don’t end up like Carmen.

The kind of ‘relationship’ described between the unfortunate woman and Riz is a sort I see all the time, across many different services.

I do so wish people would stop attempting to put words and thoughts into a person’s posts that simply are not there.

It is patently obvious that the only one who believed the ‘relationship’ was real … was the one who later took her own life.

The fact that your response is little more than a half thought attempt at an attack does amuse me greatly though ….

The truly ‘logic impaired’ do not bother to analyze the facts that are presented to them, nor do they bother to do any research at all into online relationships.

By the facts as they stand, the manner in which events unfolded, the actions of both parties and the final outcome – suicide – proper logical analysis dictates that Riz did not share the same feelings and could not be bothered to tell the poor woman what he should have told her to begin with.

He toyed with her, got all he was going to get and then left without a word.

Sadly, like all people of his type – which can be either gender by the by – he could not have cared any less that the person he was toying with was so unstable.

Second Life is not to blame, nor is GOR – or ANY roleplay evironment for that matter – Ris is to blame, as is the duped woman for not getting help for heer problems, in addition to her friends and family for not steppping in to nip this in the bud.

In short? Stop playing the blame game people, the blame is equally shared and it is high time that people realize this.

I do not care one iota for anyone who seeks to lay the blame on one person, or on an idea or environment.

I have grown weary of the myopic extremists that try to represent gender based movments, those who try to blame it all on the medium and those who try to blame a fantasy environment.

If you find what I have said so hard to fathom … then perhaps it is time to unplug your computer and spend some time in the real world, where these things happen far more frequently and over far more trivial matters.

The poor woman is dead. The facts and any real analysis of the events show what likely happened.

Let the woman rest in peace and get on with your lives.

- Atra Lupis

Only for the logic impaired. The fact that people grow distant and a relationship disintegrates does not imply that the relationship never existed to begin with.

Oh, I see, it never existed because it was based on pretty pixels, communication skills, and exchange of thoughts and feelings rather than make-up, hair-care products and exchange of bodily fluids. That makes sense…