1) You would be purchasing true bragging rights as to the most amount of money ever spent on enormously buggy code and the worst technical support in the history of modern business.”

$55K is chump change. Your average academic institution burns 3x that on a single piece of buggy software with horrible support without breaking a sweat. You are missing a couple zeros.

1) A custom enterprise class lag injector script that will help re-create the “original recipe” feeling of the main grid for those that miss it. $2,850.00USD
2) 14 new “gold” textures, you are the corporate elite, you know that you deserve it. $3,200USD
3) Discount rate of only $100USD upgrade fee for enterprise customers that need help creating a folder in their inventory.
4) Enterprise class spam and virus removal protection for those corporate windows users that cannot exist without norton. ls |grep trojan
5) 25 new enterprise class waltz dances for all the sweaty faced uptight corporate parties that don’t allow dirty dancing. $3,835.00USD
6) 1 EGPPP (Enterprise Griefing Purple Pillow Poofer) for those that miss the sim load of flying penises at their in-world corporate meetings. $800USD
7) The option to purchase between any of SL’s numerous vacant corporate sims such as Reuters(tm) $200,000.00 An official LBBC (Linden Bankruptcy Ball Cap) if you don’t purchase some of the above. $5,000USD
9) The sale of SL(tm) because no one was inSL(tm) 25L (mod YES copy YES transfer Eh,,, already have it.)
10)….. ugh, yeah right.

However I do believe there are benefits to spending the 55K with Linden. I just don’t think the offering was reviewed well enough unfortunately.

1) You would be purchasing true bragging rights as to the most amount of money ever spent on enormously buggy code and the worst technical support in the history of modern business.

2) No one with the last name Neva as you mentioned. This is certainly worth at least 20K in and of itself.

3) You will receive an “Enterprise Client” which will allow you to look up skirts in the corporate meeting with the new upskirt camera view angle.

4) You will have real content created by real artists that know that an avatar’s feet should touch the ground when sitting in a chair.

5) The most important and exclusive right to the enterprise offering is the option to use the new (FFF), or Furry Flicker Function. This allows an avatar to flick furries back out to the main grid where they belong while watching the whole event through a window in the firewall. This provides for many thousands of corporate enterprise class lolz.

6) It’s hosted by the same company that brought you many years of “You may not login, please hold why the grid monkey’s beat on the network” advertisements. Look no further, you now too will have your own “This server is down why we scratch our nuts and try to figure out why our corporate enterprise class server doesn’t run any better than opensim. You will be provided with a brand new “You may not Login” screen by our Gold Solutions Providers that understand how to create a “We are down, we don’t know what the fuck we are doing” advertisements”. This is only available with the enterprise class behind the firewall so no one will see us packages.

7) You will be hosted on a class 29384982 server. That is right, no more class 5 servers. While it’s true that Linden always spoofed their way through any real computing knowledge by offering hardware that has never once in the history of computing been called a “class” of anykind, and while most of the idiots who signed up for SL has no clue what is in a computer anyhow, Linden is proud to raise the number for those that have no clue what a processor shift register or an xor gate does anyhow.
No more false advertisements. That is correct. The enterprise suite will never be tied to any of Linden’s outrageous false advertisements of “own your own land” or “own virtual land” as you may have witnessed in the past. While it worked for the gullible idiots that signed up for SL believing they were going to “own” something they couldn’t even touch, Linden does understand that the corporate world has the knowledge to know the difference between something that has a “title” and “taxes due” over the morons that believed different. This is the Linden “added bonus”.

Just a few missing things that you should be aware of that is offered with the new Linden Enterprise Suite.

P.S. To any money-dripping corporations interested in SL Enterprise who are reading this, just kidding: please contact me immediately for a quote.

And if they did use Second Life to attack the Suit Lifes servers with script traffic.

1. Fuck all would happen – AKA EXPENCIVE “Firewall” with DDOS protection.

2. You find the “Man” will sue you and your shitty little website were you post your achievement of throwing prims all over sims, like a baby that throws its dummy out its pram.

So dream on fuckwad, $55,000 means you and your PN buddys wont be able to get anywere near a Suit Life Enterprise™.

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