But everybody at the bar knew that they would be dead before the night was over. Because they were at the suicide bar. The place you go when you want to end it all. And you don’t have the courage to do yourself. To off yourself. Not the courage. So you go to a bar where someone else will do it for you. Its not a Murder Bar because you go there of your own free will wanting to die.

But you don’t know exactly how it happens at the Suicide Bar. You’ve heard rumours though. Rumours too bizarre to be true. And as you sit down at your little table and put on your best sanguine soon to be exsanguninated face and drink your little drink and smoke your little smoke, you look around you briefly at the others in the bar with you tonight, and you know that they too are waiting to be helped across that line of eternal bliss, and you marvel at the visual distortions coming through the rarified air.

Dancing, drinking, singing, suddenly… Suddenly at 2:10 in a flury of Raven black and Glassy dishpan blonde, a vision of evil jumps up and onto the stage, jumping and gyrating to the music, jumping, gyrating, jumping, spinning away the pain. But the possessed Land Baron could not hold it back any longer. It has always been this way and probably always will be this way.

Some people rumour that it was a bad batch of Friskies “Salmon Dinner” that finally pushed her over the edge. That provided the environment that triggered sleeping genes that created the monster. Some people say she was always that way, wanting to play with her people first, and then SLAUGHTER them with glee when they let their guards down.

She clutched her head in mental pain. The booze wasn’t holding it back. The loud music couldn’t stop it. Her eyes turned red. Just then the Suicide Bar knew who they were waiting for. Just then they knew how they would die. The Land Baron Monster would proceed to grab them by their necks and rip their bloody guts right out of their bloody body. Its what they wanted, each and every one of them. They were on her lot and in her bar for a reason that night. The men cried out, the girls cried out, the men cried out, oh no… What a dream…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auzfTPp4moA

Sorry if you have already seen it. I’m still looking for more.

When I finally pulled into Ravenglass I had to scrape some roadkill off of my front fender. I couldn’t tell if I had run over a skunk, or some kind of under nourished Furry, or a Tiny or one of these new Petites. The thought of having run over a Tiny or a Furry was far more pleasing than the idea of running over a skunk. Besides morning Ravenglass was smelling more like some kind of Cat Sandbox that was overfilled with crunchy feline Kitty Roca bars and in need of a complete change, not just scooping out the chunks.

I left the roadkill scrapings on the road and carefully rolled further into Ravenglass… There was one person there. You have to be kind of careful when you look around Ravenglass because the State Highway runs through the upper corner at an angle and it throws off your whole sense of direction. But this morning there was no mistaking Ravenglass because the one and only lonely person that was there seemed to be building a HUGE multi-coloured tower that seemed to stretch upwards halfway to the moon. HUGE. And did I mention a jumble of rainbow colours? It seemed to be build on top of some other building that may have already been there. But it was tall. So tall you could see it from all of the surrounding areas, like a crazy rickety Eiffel Tower standing out from the surroundings with its wild crazy colours and wild archetecture. Sheesh, I hadn’t seen that before…

Waaaaay way up towards the top of this tower was a level where a large flat area had been constructed within the supporting pillars that held up an even higher level. A series of nice smart looking leather couches were comfortably arranged around the spacious area. Enough seating for quite a party or quite a group meeting, or any number of things where you might want a good vantage point to watch for incoming trouble from.

I suppose at some 200 meters in the air it may be a great place to send trouble out from too. Nevertheless, Tall Tower was Tall, and the tall tower had yet another level even higher up than the Lounge Level. It seemed to be a Giant Pink Heart emitter level. Yep you heard right, up at the very top of this hideously tall structure glowing and growing right up into the Clouds Over Ravenglass were Giant Pink Hearts that were rising up up and away symbolically spreading the Love of Ravenglass all over the whole region. Ah the Love of Ravenglass, you can just feel it right in your goddamned soul. Giant pink Hearts pouring out of the top. Who wouldn’t like that I ask you? Who? Oh yeah…

Anyway, I took some pictures. I figured the tower had to be that tall to get up out of the Kitty Roca smell that permiated the crappy apartments at ground level. Inside my mind something was telling me that maybe I had stayed too long already. “Get to the choppa” the little voice screamed. “Get to the choppa…” So I got to my chopper and turned around and headed back to the good old rotting fish smells and away from Rocaglass, I mean Ravenglass… My head was spinning a little bit, it happens sometimes when one encounters the paranormal, but there was that road kill that I scraped off earlier, stinking right in the middle of the road, so I knew I was going the right way…

(chorus)
Ravenglass, oh Ravenglass,
You blow your tennants right out your ass…
Pay the box and pick up your trash,
They ain’t gonna take no renter back sass…

Oh well, I’m working on it for ya Radio Free Ravenglass and Radio Ross Liberation. May a thousand videos bloom…

So, is the Herald kaput then? With Tux in the Big House, Green Lantern out of the closet, and Second Life no longer even pretending to be the cutting edge of our virtual future, is there nothing grand to write about? Did Boellsdorf and Ludlow predict such an ignominious end to the Grand Experiment?

That’s not true. Ever heard of Anshe Chung,Sylver Bu,Lordfly Digeridoo, and Ariella Languish?

They have made a lot of money.