Working at the Herald, I have cultivated an appreciation for broken english robot haiku comments submitted by non-anglophone entrepreneurs looking for just one more link to web sites featuring vital lifestyle accessories. After all – gaming Google search ranking is what passes for marketing in the Internet age and it is instructive to clean the spam filter periodically to see how the game is played.

I’ve learned that typical robo-haiku comment spam could apply to almost anything while appealing to the author’s vanity:

the written content on this publish is really one particular of the top substance that We have at any time arrive throughout. I adore your submit, I will are available back again to examine for new posts.

Of course, I am flattered at the adoration my submit received, and the recognition of the article’s top substance, but I seldom see this praise since the Herald spam filter makes short work of most astroturfed SEO-fodder. Oblivious to this, there is an unending supply of optimists on the other side of the world with a crude understanding of search engine optimization.

How much Internet traffic is now devoted to gaming Google?

don’t you want to but this vandal-proof camera?

The best robo-spam trapped by the Herald’s filter decorates the bar on the Herald yacht, inspiring jaded journalists to new literary heights with the threat of a natural language processing algorithm avatar joining the staff. Someday. Maybe. But Johnny Algorithm is no immediate threat to the writers based on Google’s epic fail on the Shibboleth users mailing list. 

A japanese user, seeking help installing the Shibboleth authentication software turned to Google Translate for assistance. The author may be been too quick to thank Google, because the internet ad agency posed his question as "goat-time with wind, pole, dragon inter help?"

Then things get interesting.

This is question, engish is faulty therefore the right excused is
requested. Thank google to translate to help. SORRY!!!!!

At often, the goat-time install a error is vomit. To how many times like
the wind, a pole, and the dragon? Install 2,3 repeat, spank, vomit blows

14:14:01.869 – INFO
[edu.internet2.middleware.shibboleth.common.config.profile.JSPErrorHandlerBeanDefinitionParser:45]
- Parsing configuration for JSP error handler.

Not precise the vomit but with aspect similar, is vomited concealed in fold of
goat-time lumber? goat-time see like the wind, pole, and dragon? This
insult to father’s stones? JSP error handler with wind, pole, dragon with
intercourse to goat-time? Or chance lack of skill with a goat-time?

Please apologize for your stupidity. There are a many thank you

I’m not certain, but perhaps it was chance lack of skill with a goat time that convinced me to avoid Google Translate as much as possible.

So it seems unlikely that Google Translate in its current state would help the Ephraimites pass a  shibboleth test on the banks of the Jordan River – even if they all had Android phones – but we can still hope that the JSP error handler with wind, pole, dragon with intercourse to goat-time will be sorted out for the Internet2 Shibboleth user, eventually.

did goat-time lumber fold conceal vomit?

by Urizenus Sklar, from the 30,000 iPhone apps and counting desk.

So there I was, reading TechCrunch on the Herald yacht, when I saw that there is a new iPhone app named Sparkle that will let me chat with my Second Life friends without logging in.  I immediately downloaded it, and IM'ed Mimi Coral who was in world.  "Hey Mimi, I'm chatting with you from my iPhone!"  Mimi: "…ok…".  Clearly she was not impressed.

OK, so chatting with someone in world from outside the world is not so impressive, but the planned next iteration of Sparkle -Sparkle 3D — is interesting, since it seems the makers of Sparkle, Genki, are going to use the iPhone as a platform for a graphical virtual world (hence Sparkle 3D).  TechCrunch spins it this way:

And of course what would a discussion of virtual worlds be without the mandatory gushing about the big bux to be had:

The viral potential for a mobile virtual world optimized for theApple ecosystem could be as big as the potential for continuousmonetization: sales of avatar accessories, virtual apartments(utilizing iPhone 3.0’s new subscription option), sales of in-game items, music downloads, branded spaces and conventional ads come to mind.

Rah.  And then there is this:

Opportunity knocks.