The Alphaville Herald

Gangsta asks “She Lyin. What Ima Do? I Hella Mad!”

by Pixeleen Mistral on 26/01/07 at 2:12 am

by Heartun Breaker, syndicated advice columnist.

HEY HEARTUN ~ My wife, girlfriend, ‘partner’ whatever — I think she cheating on me. We ben talking about her livin Textas (sic) and moving up to me in Detroit and what not. We good together. We play alla time. But month ago she play that Wow (World of Warcraft) game now she dont come on SL hardly never!!!!

When she DO come play SL she all “No, my computer just on. I was out.” but I no she lyin. What Ima do? I hella mad but she don no that yit. ~ HELLA ‘G’

DEAR HELLA ~ When did gangstas start playing Second Life? Ummm… never. Whether you are black or white or Latino or Asian, you’ve got to drop the ‘too cool for school’ hip-hop mode of speach because it just doesn’t work in an online environment. Face it, if you are here… YOU ARE A GEEK! It’s just a question of to what extend or degree your geekiness extends.

Now, to your question, I presume you’ve tried to get her WoW name with the intention of stalking her there. Since you didn’t mention it I’m guessing that she didn’t divulge that information. So here’s what you do. Trick her by acting extra trusting. When she isn’t around, don’t send her messages but when she is around say things like “I like hanging around you” and ask her to tell you about her day. Use complete sentences. Act caring and concerned for her well being. Don’t let on that you are needy and distrustful. Act like every moment with her is a gift that makes you happy.

It’s just a guess but I doubt she’s ever experienced that from you so these new emotions you evoke in her will throw her off guard. She’ll actually start spending more time with you instead of ignoring your IMs, lying to you about where she is, and trotting off to WoW to cyber some troll. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER

HEY HEARTUN ~ Ok, I can see that (AgePlay) is role play too… even though, personally, it makes me a little twitchy… but (and I ask this without rancor) if AgePlay is simply ‘role play’ why should it be kept to non-public venues?

I’m totally conflicted on this one. And I know that, at least with my kid, there’s no way she’d come on here acting as a kid. If I allowed her (I wont!) she’d pretend to be much older than she is. I think most tweens, teens and such would be like that. But I’m still twitchy about AgePlay. ~ CONCERNED PARENT

DEAR CONCERNED PARENT ~ I conveyed your concerns to a representative AgePlayer who consented to an interview on the subject — and in my experience AgePlayers are rather shy to talk with those not engaged in their form of role play. Here’s what he

“I understand why you’d be concerned… (but) AgePlay is just as the name implies — it is ‘play.’ I personally don’t play the role of younger, but any time I role play or anything like that I always try to find a way to confirm the (real life) identity of the person I am chatting with. I think most people do that,” an AgePlayer told Get A Life. “Most of the ‘AgePlayers’ in Second Life aren’t doing anything sexual, they simply role play a younger person in family situations — like role playing a father-daughter relationship.”

AgePlay is a hot-button issue anyway. As a society and a species it is incumbent upon us to protect our children. Parents, and anyone who watches Dateline NBC, know that there are predators out there looking to abuse children.

I think if everyone was certain that all AgePlayers shared their real life concerns for the protection of children there would be no problem. But some AgePlayers — perhaps a small minority within AgePlay — do sexualize children. So long as that sexual play is kept between consenting adults I think most people — while perhaps uncomfortable with the notion — don’t have a serious objection.

The problem lies in that playground reality that anyone different is suspicious. If we don’t understand their actions, we don’t understand their motives. Worse than that… we assign to them motives that make sense to us, with our worst fears laying down the basis with which we project those motives.

There’s also the problem that you can not prove a negative. It is impossible to prove, in any real sense, that there are NOT child predators mixed in with AgePlayers. However illogical this condemnation is, it is the kind of stigma that sticks. It is the same fear that prompts us to tell our children to stay way from all strangers, even when we know that the vast majority of all adults would do them no harm.

“If everyone is obsessed with what’s right and what’s real, why would people come onto a game like Second Life and (role play),” our intrepid AgePlayer asks. “Trust me, there are far to many griefers out there who have nothing better to do than criticize what others do.”

I suspect that while some of these, lets call them ‘hyper vocal critics’ of AgePlay, are acting on well-meaning (but perhaps misguided, and often inappropriate) fears — there are also pleanty of people out there who just use AgePlayers as an easy target for their grief. Griefers do what they do to feel important, when they are often very impotent. They want to feel superior to something. If not AgePlay, then something else. On the playground, they were the first to criticize your shoes, the way you walk, the way you talk — and cull you from the herd of kids by pointing out any difference in you. Then they would feel the power they crave by crucifying you for your difference.

Dear Concerned Parent, take care of your children. Keep them away from all online games or chat rooms where they could be subject to predation. Just don’t allow your fears to manifest as persecution of others because they are different. If you know of an AgePlayer who IS a pedofile — report them. Otherwise you should assume they are just engaging in a role play that makes you feel a bit icky, and that’s it. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER

Monkey Love — But What About My Wife?

HEY HEARTUN ~ I cheated on my wife with 3 dogs, a monkey, and a half galon (sic) jug of KY Jelly, should I tell her? ~RHYMES WITH ‘CHORUS’

DEAR CHORUS ~ I don’t see why not. Sounds like a good Second Life party… maybe she will want to join in next time. Oh, and send me pictures, damnit! ~ HEARTUN BEAKER

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