Genital Review: Play Sexy (male)
by matthiaszander on 09/04/06 at 8:47 pm
by Matthias Zander
To continue the Herald’s strong dedication to weeding out the weak for our readers, we are now bringing you the first of a set of genital test-drives that will review and rank genitals for both males and females. This week’s victim is the Play Sexy "Commander" cock for our male readers. Play Sexy was once the industry standard. Have they been able to retain that title? Read more below – and be warned, this is NOT safe for work (but if you’re here at the Herald, you should already expect that).
This is the way that the Play Sexy Commander looks when you first attach it. The geometry is very basic, and the textures are just downright gross. It looks semi-realistic, I suppose, but it doesn’t look like it’s been updated for looks in quite some time. I guess the line across the top is supposed to be a vein. Hmm, yeah, I don’t think I need to say more.
This is the Play Sexy Commander when erect, which happens either with one command or one touch. That brings up a good point – functionally, this is one of the few cocks still being sold in SecondLife that uses a "click to use" system for arousal. It is completely non-automatic, which some will find cumbersome in the "heat of the moment." Another thing that points to the age of this cock is the fact that it includes a pubic hair tattoo, pictured above on a default slider skin. The texture is quite blurry – what is shown up above is fully-rezzed. This is really unnecessary since most everyone has a skin these days, but I can see how some may need it if they’re quite new to SecondLife.
Finally, the "climax" of this article covers the orgasm function of the Play Sexy Commander, which can be triggered either instantly via vocal command or by taking the cock through six different stages of arousal through clicks, until it reaches the seventh. The particles themselves originate exactly where shown in the picture (which makes no sense), and the cock is unresponsive for about 30 seconds until it goes limp and is ready to "Play Sexy" once again.
The whole process of the Play Sexy Commander cock gives me flashbacks to the old Green Fate genitals (which were taken off the market just a couple of months ago, otherwise they would be reviewed in this series). They claim to have 20 voice commands (only 19 of which are listed in the help card), including hiding/showing, hard/soft (the reset command does the same thing as the soft command), "everhard" (which makes it so that it never goes soft, though in my tests, it never went soft even without this command being active), pee/cum, sounds on/sounds off, animations on/animations off, text on/text off, emoting through the cock, numb, scan on/scan off (avatar scanner that triggers every 30 seconds for "safe sex"), and help. This is a very basic cock compared to what is out there now (and what will be reviewed in the coming weeks), which could be either a good or bad thing. It is entirely non-automatic, which can be very bothersome, especially when the user’s mind should be on other things than clicking their cock. In addition, the Play Sexy Commander does not include or have the ability to include a HUD, something that is also an industry standard, and I would guess has become so since the last time the Commander was updated.
The best thing about this cock was most certainly the price – the "small" sum of L$799 for the male in SecondLife to be digitally complete.
Ratings:
Function: 3/10
Appearance: 2/10
Features: 4/10
Price: 8/10
Overall: 4.25/10
Next weekend, Chipsen will be reviewing the matching Play Sexy Pussy for our female readers. If you have a line of genitals that you’d like reviewed by our expert staff here at the Herald, drop a line to either Matthias Zander or Chipsen Queso! We have a couple of more vendors already planned, but we’d love to hear you you want reviewed, as well.
Urizenus
Apr 9th, 2006
’bout time we get the skinny on these units. Awesome job Matt. Makes me proud to be the Herald founder (wipes tear from eye).
Prokofy Neva
Apr 10th, 2006
I think this is an excellent start to a consumer advocacy and reporting column the Herald should have regularly.
It’s sad to hear that the Green Fate models were retired.
I think Matthias did a credible job here, but he should have discussed the issue of the PlaySexy’s talkiness. It has those canned lines it’s always shouting out, and when anybody with it on anywhere lands on a sim, it starts chatting out dumb stuff. Can’t hey make it STFU?
I think there’s something for the particles and their placement not being TOO realistic. The Green Fate model used to leave these little prim objects called “sperm” gobbed around on people’s land, yecth, it was like finding a rubber on the sidewalk in RL. The PlaySexy particle solution strikes me as a good balance for the virtual world.
Please review ArchTx Edo’s Everhard. It’s only $50. It’s sold at his shop in Gogebic and at my Flamingo Court Motel. It’s very simple, inexpensive and good looking.
Matthias
Apr 10th, 2006
Re: Prokofy
“It has those canned lines it’s always shouting out, and when anybody with it on anywhere lands on a sim, it starts chatting out dumb stuff. Can’t hey make it STFU?”
As I menitoned in the commands list, it apparently has “talk on/talk off,” though most prefer to hear “It’s time to Play Sexy!”
“The Green Fate model used to leave these little prim objects called “sperm” gobbed around on people’s land, yecth, it was like finding a rubber on the sidewalk in RL. The PlaySexy particle solution strikes me as a good balance for the virtual world.”
Green’s sperm objects were temp-on-rez, so they never stayed around more than a minute or so. These days, particles have become the “industry standard” – actually, I don’t know of one current cock that uses temp-on-rez objects instead of particles.
“Please review ArchTx Edo’s Everhard. It’s only $50. It’s sold at his shop in Gogebic and at my Flamingo Court Motel. It’s very simple, inexpensive and good looking.”
Will do, adding it to the bottom of the list.
whateva
Apr 10th, 2006
why does it have 4 balls?
Sex & Games
Apr 14th, 2006
Second Life Herald: Genital Review
As you may know, in the world of Second Life, characters begin the game as the virtual equivalent of dolls with no naughty bits to speak of. You can purchase the naughty bits in question within the world from various…
amin
Jul 26th, 2006
sex video
Anonymous
Jun 28th, 2007
wtf that is nasty
Amber
Mar 14th, 2008
This shit is soooo fuckin GROSS!!!!!
you ppl are sick in the head!!!!