The Alphaville Herald

Shouting Party Hats for Everyone! SL Grid Crashes Monday

by Pixeleen Mistral on 05/10/06 at 12:07 am

SHOCK: Linden Lab finds that 3-day suspensions do not deter grid crashers

by Pixeleen Mistral, Herald National Affairs Desk

After the grid was crashed -again- Monday evening, it is possible that one or two residents were surprised that a three day account suspension shown in the Second Life police blotter had not frightened away the grid crashing griefers. Despite the threat of 3 days without SL – at least for a first offense at attempted grid crashing – fearless and fun loving griefers must have felt the need for a noisy party of sorts. Generous to a fault, they also wanted everyone to join in. Clearly the best way to get a party started is to distribute – as widely as possible – party hats and noisemakers. In a nod to the constrained prim resources of Second Life, the grid crashers reportedly placed shouting noisemakers inside party hats – cutting the prims needed for a grid crash in half – and launched the ever popular self-replicating object attack. But some suspect an impish prankster or religious fanatic may have replaced the part of the copy-and-paste self replicating/shouting script. Some metaverse citizens complained that party hats ought to have shouted the lyrics to something like Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” rather than the more somber message visited on the metaverse via the chat channel:

[18:05] 5751363.500000 shouts: Terror will rain down upon the unfit gods and the flock that they govern, from now until the End of Days.
[18:06] 9773528.000000 shouts: Terror will rain down upon the unfit gods and the flock that they govern, from now until the End of Days.
[18:06] 1768511.375000 shouts: Terror will rain down upon the unfit gods and the flock that they govern, from now until the End of Days.
[18:06] 307686.312500 shouts: Terror will rain down upon the unfit gods and the flock that they govern, from now until the End of Days.

So it is unfortunate but understandable that after all the careful preparations, the party did not really get off to a good start. When the shouting had given nearly everyone a headache, Live Help reportedly started speaking loudly too, messaging all online resident to suggest that people stop IMing them for help. This reportedly ruined the party atmosphere for nearly everyone, and the grid was shut down for some cleanup. Most of the more pragmatic residents of SL retreated to WoW, Yahoo! IM, IMVU, There.com, or pretty much any of the other platform, seeking stability and peace. Once the all clear sounded, weary landlords returned to the grid and began returning leftover party hats.

One has to suspect that there will soon be a Linden announcement of more improvements to the grey goo fence that is meant to curb the uncontrollable enthusiasm of our grief-party-loving fellow residents. How effective these measure will be should be a matter of concern to those who want to do something other than listen to shouting, then clean up after someone else’s party. As Tataniya Jessop said, “If you do not solve this problem, and solve it quickly, it WILL destroy the profitability of your endeavor. Second Life CAN NOT be a Hacker’s Paradise”. Some might wonder at the punishments meted out by the Lindens since an inspection of the Police Blotter reveals that insulting a Linden and pushing/caging merits the same three day suspension as global grid attacks – at least some sorts of global grid attacks.

Meanwhile, landlords might think of Second Life not as the metaverse, but as a streaming 3D version of Animal House, with property owners and business people cast in the role of the janitor that periodically sweeps out the frat house after an especially extreme toga party. By the way, does anyone need a slightly used party hat? There were just a few leftover from last night’s party.