The Alphaville Herald

ELVIS SIGHTED IN HAWAII !

by Pixeleen Mistral on 25/11/06 at 1:38 am

by Budka Groshomme, Science Fiction desk

At least four patrons of Hawaii’s island casino, possibly more, stated that they almost definitely glimpsed what might have been Elvis dancing on Saturday night at the Ice Maiden’s Tringo party. “There was no mistaking it,” said Xenia Baggio as she added another enhancement to her avatar and adjusted her [lack of] clothing. “I wasn’t that close, but I think I saw him, sure as can be. Hey, who else could wear sideburns like that?”

Other observers, closer to the action, reported that although the apparition held a different SL name floating wraithlike over his head, it was unmistakably “The King” himself. “Nobody could put together that combination of gestures, animations, and dance steps except him,” reported Studlyproud Blackfoot who was also in attendance. “The King’s avi [sic] was way cool.”

Since early this year there have been continuous reports of Elvis appearing throughout SL. In many cases these were simple mistakes, easily explained by an avatar with a passing resemblance or a case of an actual impostor a.k.a. “impersonator” transiting the area. Yet there remain certain events that cannot be explained in this way.

How else could one explain the glowing phantasm that appeared hovering before Imawhore Euler when she logged on one evening late last month? “I was stone sober,” she declared to the irate Lindens who responded to her emergency abuse email. “Hadn’t had a damn drink in three-four hours at least.” She further e-mailed that this occurred on her very own restricted parcel of land in Erotica, where she “entertained” noobies.

Nor can one explain Howling Brightwell spotting Elvis quickly tooling through the Bishop sim two weeks ago. “It was him, damn it,” chatted Brightwell to anyone who came nearby. “Driving a pink f’in [sic] twenty-prim Cadillac, he was. Had the shades and all. I mean, I know what he looks like and that might have been him.”

Two of the patrons at the Ice Dragon stated that it might not have been Elvis at all, but merely another SL impersonator. “For one thing, he was a little too thin,” stated FlyingEff Gotchecka. “If it was him, it had to be the younger one, not the fat, older guy.” Her partner, Thongor Grossbeak, clad in bright orange pants and wearing his best blue avatar skin, insisted that the avatar could only have been Elvis. “The jacket. Nobody but the King could rez a jacket with that damn many sparklers,” he asserted. “Then, there was the towel.”

At this point FlyingEff privately IM’d this reporter, that, “I tried to copybot it, but it wouldn’t work, darn it. Still,” she added wistfully, “I really wanted a copy of that towel. just as a keepsake, y’know.”

This reporter, and the Herald’s highly ethical editor, remain skeptical of these reports. Like most of this type of report, it is shrouded in controversy and dispute.

Back at Hawaii, when confronted by an unnamed patron, the individual alleged to be Elvis disappeared immediately, but not before chatting in all caps that he was “LEAVING THE BUILDING.”