The Alphaville Herald

Get a Life – No ‘Third Life’ For You!

by Pixeleen Mistral on 04/11/06 at 5:56 pm

by Heartun Breaker, syndicated advice columnist.

Heartun Breaker is here to help

HEY HEARTUN: How do I manage a personal life with a wife, three kids and Second Life? ~ NEED A THIRD LIFE

DEAR NEED: I’m sorry, but there will be no ‘third’ life for you. What’s more, from the sounds of things your first life is about to get a lot less complicated. My advice to you is to run up your credit cards by upgrading your computer. Even better, have some custom game box builder make you a dream machine with a dual core processor, loads of RAM, dual graphics cards, a huge flat screen or two and all the software you ever wanted. Dont worry about the cost, just slap it on the cards. You’ll have to declare bankruptcy after your wife takes the kids far away from you and serves you with divorce papers anyway. Thank goodness your friends in Second Life won’t abandon you like that.

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HEY HEARTUN: I’m the female partner in a ‘triangular’ relationship involving The Mistress, her male sub and me. I really think that The Mistress and I have something spiritual, and that the sub is just a sex toy for her but he’s been with The Mistress longer than I have. And lately when I’m fucking The Mistress, I get the impression that she’s thinking of her sub some times. What do I do? ~ UNEQUAL PARTNER

DEAR UNEQUAL: A ‘triangular’ relationship is a complex one, and can only work if the sub and the partner (that’s you!) of the mistress also have a mutual understanding of each other’s needs and feelings. If either of them does not feel comfortable with the situation it wont work. A sub can be a sex toy who is just happy to make his or her mistress happy in any possible way and in return get affection. To some people its just fun roleplay, to others an erotic experience. Either way, even if you and Sub Dude are never great pals, you’ve got to talk with him frequently – after all, you both share the love of your mistress.

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HEY HEARTUN: My sweet lover asked me to be his partner. I am so happy with my baby, he completes me. I have found him to be a treasure, my big bright shooting star that lights up my life with so much happiness. He holds my heart in his hands and it belongs to him and only him forever and ever. I love him with all my heart, mind, body and soul and will until the end of time. But as much as I love and worship him in SL, he always changes the subject when I turn to a real life hook-up even though we live within 100 miles of each other. What do I do? ~ MADLY IN LOVE

DEAR MADLY: Wow! This guy really should see that blazing fire of adoration inside you. Lets go through some things to see if you are communicating your love clearly enough. Hmmmm. Looking at your Profile I see that you’ve got a picture of you two kids kissing in your Second Life section. Check! Below the picture you have lots of squiggly things like “roses” @)~— and “hearts” <3 . Check! You announce to the world the date of your betrothal and later marriage. Check! You have a long statement of how much you love him, how he 'completes' you and how you want to spend all of your time with him and only him. Check! The Picks section of your bio has a bunch of other pictures of him. Check! And your 1st Life section has yet another picture of him and a statement of devotion with the added "I'm already taken guys!" (Nice touch, that)

I’m sorry Madly, I don’t see why he won’t commit to you in the real world. Maybe you really don’t love him enough. Try loving him more. A LOT more.

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Get A Life is the most popular and widely syndicated advice column in Second Life — known for Heartun Breaker’s down to earth common sense and witty reason.

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