The Alphaville Herald

Conan O’Brien Sunburned in Second Life

by Pixeleen Mistral on 13/12/06 at 10:43 am

by Pixeleen Mistral, National Affairs desk

Second Life avatar caricature artist Christophe Hugo contacted the Herald to warn us that he will continue to humiliate a virtual Conan O’Brien in the metaverse until the real life talk show host pays a visit to Second Life to rescue his alter ego from Mr. Hugo. This is a serious business – virtual Conan already has a very bad sunburn from a Second Life Venice beach sunbathing session – Mr. Hugo would only allow Conan SPF 10 sunscreen which is just not anywhere near enough for a fair-skinned late night talk show host.

Sensing that I might somehow mediate a solution to this terrible injustice – Conan is going to be peeling for days – I paid a visit to Mr. Hugo and found a nearly completed theatre prepared for the real life Conan’s appearance – should he submit to this sort of avatar voodoo blackmail.

In the course of a wide ranging interview, I realized that not only is Conan O’Brien’s alter ego in grave danger. Many others could suffer avatar mistreatment in the metaverse at Mr. Hugo’s hands – including Osama Bin Laden, Bill Clinton, Gérard Depardieu, and french presidential candidate Segolene Royal.

While much has been made of Second Life as a business platform – brace yourself for waves of political satire as more artists work at combining caricature, machinima, and mau mauing the mainstream media, politicians, and other convenient targets.

Even after the interview I remained a bit in the dark about why we need a visit from Conan O’Brien – but perhaps this is one of those intercultural things I’ll never understand – like the french weakness for Jerry Lewis.

In any case – anyone who has ideas on how to torment a virtual Conan O’Brien ought to IM Christophe Hugo. Here are the high points of my interview with a virtual reality caricature artist and new media voodoo blackmailer.

virtual Conan O’Brien sunburnt on a gay beach

PM: I guess the immediate issue is what can you do to your Conan to make RL Conan want to save him.
PM: Have you though of going to a Gorean sim and becoming a slave?
CH: Conan becoming a slave? I had thought of doing that In “Hard Alley”
PM: well RL Conan has to want to save his SL persona from something
PM: What would be a fate worse than death for RL Conan?
CH: you are right. I am ready to anything that’s non-XXX to humiliate Virtual Conan….
CH: btw I know that NBC lawyers scan YouTube on a frequent basis – so they may see my videos there.
PM: so aren’t there free speech issues? I mean why NOT do an XXX video?
PM: Its parody or satire – seems like fair game to me
PM: but I write for the Herald – so what do i know? lol
CH: believe me – Conan went to Laguna Beach yesterday, in his speedo – and everybody fled.
CH: So w/o the speedo, I do not think so. just a personal choice, no censorship.
PM: k
PM: you could take him shopping for a *cough* attachment *cough*
CH: well so far I brought him to a nude beach, and we went exercise at Venice Beach
CH: plus a few other things
CH: he may have to cross dress soon though
PM: I think he needs to buy a prim dong – one of the scripted ones – just in case , you know?
CH: what’s that?
PM: an anatomically correct Conan in SL might get NBC’s attention even if you never use it
CH: oh, I thought you meant a “Bong” – it would have pleased the college crowd
PM: well, buy a bong too – bongs ‘n dongs
CH: I’ll smoke a bong in public, but not the other thing you mentioned lol
PM: it is tricky for you. you need to threaten him without going over the top
CH: and over the top is very high tough, he is a very tall guy.
CH: NBC’s website is not helping – basically, they are saying: “Keep your packages, we do not want another anthrax scare!”

virtual Conan O’Brien visits Big Brother in his speedo

CH: you would like to take a pic of Conan in a green dress?
PM: sure
CH: hold on – I think I’ll go behind you to change – (DO NOT GO WITH YOUR CAM!!
PM: if only my other interviews would protect my delicate sensibilities this well

Does Conan O’Brien approve of cross dressing in Second Life?

PM: that dress is a little short
CH: between this and going to Hard Alley – which is most humiliating you think??
PM: hard to say – hold still, let me get a picture
CH: oh boy the dress is too short indeed. well too late
PM: its a micro mini
CH: we are now into XXX, it’s official
PM: you are showing a little hip on one side too – there is a little skin showing on the side
CH: since Conan got into his 40′s he is gaining some weigh
PM: I can see that. plus good skits are hard to find in SL – take it from me
CH: are you done? this is almost embarrassing
PM: well it is SUPPOSED to be embarrassing
CH: (talk about users “feeling” for their avatars!!)
PM: nice touch with the freckles
CH: this is Segolene Royal by the way

Will French presidential candidate Segolene Royal model a bikini for Conan?

CH: oh btw – what would you think of having an article on the first 3D caricature of the Prophet?
PM: omg
PM: lol
CH: it’s bound to happen, isn’t it?
PM I never thought of that but yes this will happen
CH: I already have an Ossama
PM: someone will be the Salman Rushdie of the metaverse
CH: yes, I think I’ll stop at Ossama for the moment:) even though I love controversy
PM: I HAVE to have a picture of this – Ossama found in metaverse
CH: FYI I tried to learn how to fly a plane in a sandbox…
CH: another business to create in SL: VODOO: “buy the avatar of your worst enemy and torture it!

Osama Bin Laden sighted in the metaverse

CH: my segoleneroyale.com site would be forbidden in France, I am sure of that.
CH: I get some nice visits here but also those occasional Frenchmen who believe I am a travestite LOL
CH: RISKY JOB
PM: you are a tortured artist, I think
CH: Why tortured?
PM: well the transvestite thing is so unfair
PM: you HAVE to do that for your art
CH: All artists are tortured.