The Alphaville Herald

Database Problems Cause Haiku Outbreak

by Pixeleen Mistral on 23/01/07 at 3:18 am

Linden Blog infected – citizens seek poetic justice

by Pixeleen Mistral, National Affairs desk

A highly infectious strain of Haiku has struck the official Linden Lab blob – affecting residents whose immune systems may have been weakened by chronic exposure to disappointing performance in their game world. As editors scrambled to find a new way to report the usual news – teleports aren’t working, avatars are sometimes invisible, L$ account balances are wrong, resident profile information is not loading — the outbreak of a new Haiku strain may be a blessing – at least for those in the news business. Sources suggest that this outbreak may also help secure funding for a rare breed of Epidemiology/English Literature researchers searching for trendy new research topics.

Official sources report that Boss Melnitz suffered the first documented case of Haiku at 3:46 PM PST with this comment on the blob:

Teleports, Linden$,
My virtual nards shriveled.
Concurrency sucks!

The case was confirmed as acute and viral in nature several minutes later when Mr. Melnitz responded to a comment about the Linden Lab staff’s left hand not knowing what the right hand was doing with more Haiku:

Yes, the left hand knows
What the right hand is doing
It grabbed the lotion!

Illustrating that the metaverse can cause emergent social behavior even when the metaverse is not really working all that well, the blob Haiku fad then spread to Cappy Frantisek who seems to have an even more serious case than Boss Melnitz:

Second Life is broke
Oh what will we do today
Fill blog with nonsense

Problems in world suck
Heros is on the tele
Know what I’m doing

After five pacific
Quit bitching thay ain’t working
Come back tomorrow