The Alphaville Herald

Pixeleen Mistral Liquidates SL Holdings

by Pixeleen Mistral on 01/04/07 at 2:00 pm

Former Editrix moving to Croquet

By Eloise Pasteurized

MarkTwain White and Pixeleen Mistral both heading in new directions

In the wake of her retirement from the Herald, Pixeleen Mistral has sold her SL holdings – consisting primarily of two mainland sims – to MarkTwain White. Mr. White announced that effective immediately all pirates are banned from Sanchon and Jinsil sims while he and Nber Medici establish a Hollywood theme park on the mainland.

“There is really no place for pirates in Second Life” said Ms. Medici, and pointed out that the growing corporate presence in-world creates real opportunity for more Days Inn hotels, Chic-Fil-A, McDonalds, and Hardees restaurants and other symbols of the good life.

To be removed from Mr. White’s extensive ban list, former pirates are expected to don fast-food franchise uniforms and work 10 hour shifts behind the counter of the new restaurant/virtual food/entertainment operations – which will be an important part of the revamped Sanchon sim “real life in second life” concept. Aimee Weber is designing the new cheap motel and fast food builds for SL, and promised that they will be much more fun than RL. This reporter is looking forward to LL’s voice chat making the experience even better – you’ll be able to yell your orders to the workers, and hear the barely suppressed anger in their voices as you lord it over them give them detailed instructions on how you want your meal.

the land deal was negotiated during a round of golf between Mistral and White

“I paid top dollar to rid the sailing world of Pixeleen, but then I was pleasantly surprised at how little lag there is on the mainland”, said Mr. White, and continued, “I’ll be moving all my operations to the mainland as soon as I can sell those laggy island sims”.

Ms. Mistral was reached for comment behind the Herald offices where she was dumpster diving in an attempt to separate her prized collection of manga from Urizenus Sklar and Walker Spaight’s porn files. After unearthing evidence that Torley Linden had returned to sleeping in dumpsters – strange watermelon colored textures had been arranged into an avatar shaped nest and Post 6 Grrrl photos adorned the walls – we discussed Ms. Mistral’s next move.

“I plan to set up croquet tournaments in SL” said Ms. Mistral. When asked what appeal croquet holds, she smiled and said, “It’s sorta like golf, but you can be mean to the other players and whack their balls into the next sim – its a natural for the SL social scene”.