Sex in SL
by Pixeleen Mistral on 22/04/07 at 9:55 am
Curvy Girl’s Manifesto
by Aurel Miles
[I’m delighted that post 6 grrrrl Aurel has agreed to write a column on sex in SL for the Herald. Here is her manifesto - to set the stage before the yiffing cyber exploration begins. -the Editrix]
The idea of a beauty pageant on second life could, at first blush, make a resident despair that this plane of existence has gone the way of the round world complete with Anna-Nicole obsessions and Jon-Benet tragedies.
As a round-world feminist who has been both blessed and cursed with a physical appearance that requires very little maintenance, the idea of competing in a beauty pageant was laughably ironic.
In RL I’ve felt the smack of having my ideas dismissed in favour of my looks more times than seem reasonable or fair.
So why would a person who spent most of their life struggling to be heard and taken seriously for her intellectual strength and agility suddenly decide to buy into a competition where looks and charm are the only strengths that matter?
For me, second life is all in the mind. I’m fortunate to be a member of the generation who remembers life before the internet but who has become at home on-line through the necessity and the culture of completing a university education in a field where the focus is fixed firmly on innovative communication.
Like the alchemic salamander, I am neither in this world nor outside of it and I suspect that is true for many of the SL participants you meet on any given day. We are in the midst of the fire yet we do not burn, we are not consumed.
There are two resolutions I made for myself when I entered this realm; first, that I would not bring any real-life money into the game. I want to make my own way here on my own currency, and see if it possible to thrive in a Lindens-only economic framework.
Second: like a modern-day Molly Blume, I would say yes to everything. The pageant was offered to me so I said yes, ask me to go somewhere or do something and you will get the same answer – nothing can harm you here so why not say Yes? Yes, Yes and Yes.
My avatar echoes my personal appearance because I find the issue of physical appearance a fascinating one. In my own life it has made an appreciable difference, more often being the factor that steered me off course, than one that bestowed any lasting advantage. Here, because it is all by choice, I can watch my own responses to people’s perceptions of beauty and learn to deal with it or work around it.
I am walking into the SL world of sex this week because it is – like everything else, all in your mind and I want in.
My avatar is me and not me. She is a reflection of how I think in both worlds. I expect she will change from time to time but for now she reflects my ambivalent relationship with my own physical gifts and my willingness to explore the meanings of all issues related to the subject of attraction and (mental) desire.
Here, I’ve met men masquerading as lesbians, men who work as escorts, women who choose to work as Dommes or play as animals or hunt men down and force them to submit to their will. There are polyamorous marriages between people who have never met, harems kept by men and women who would not draw a second glance on a city bus in the round world but whose towering imaginations make them icons of sexual potency here. There is also the most fantastically expanding field of communicative art I’ve seen in a long time – but that’s a story for another day.
If you’re a slave or a Dom/Domme, a woman who walks as a man or a man who poses as a female Alice-in-Wonderland, a furry or a T-girl or something I can’t even imagine: I want to hear your story. I want to see your mind, as naked as only thoughts can be; looks, lumps, lifestyle and all.
General Cronon
Apr 22nd, 2007
First! Long for no reason. I wanted to here something different. Not a script to a documentary.
shockwave yareach
Apr 23rd, 2007
From the sounds of this, I’d say you are either trying to collect material for a psychology project, or are looking for guest writers.
Annonymous Female AV
Apr 24th, 2007
When i first went into second life i had a choice male or female. In my real life i am a male who has a hard time interacting with other people. Belive me i have tried over and over but to no success. I had heard of this second life and wondered what it was about. I figured i had no luck as a male in rl so i shall try female. Once i opened that door into sl I have not looked back.
As a woman in second life i have been able to meet a variety of people and gone and seen many different things. And the clothes are damn works of art. As in artist in RL I have come to love the fashion industry for what it is.
Then i ran into the troubling question. Should i let people know i am a man. I found the most wonderful person in the world who is now one of my best friends. She helped me come out to a few select people i know would not judge me for my sl choice. She helped me understand that its not the rl body you know, its the spark of that persons soul. And yes she is a female in rl. We have talked over skype and the phone and means the world to me as my friend.
Since my first days in sl i havent looked back.
Singed: Angel (part of one of my avs names guess me hahaahahhaha)
Bea Georgette
Apr 25th, 2007
Nice to hear Shockwave’s experience in SL. I think SL is a great medium to allow shy individuals to meet others, whether male-female ir vis versa. I also had the “shall I be male or female” dilema at the start. I was too chicken to cross over and stuck at being female, but I haven’t regretted it once. I too am on the shy side and have found SL so relaxing a way of meeting others. I’m even getting good at flirting, which is definitely not the RL me. Of course in the early days I couldn’t resist the offers of sex that came my way. In retrospect this was a mistake maybe, because now I can’t even remember with whome I did it in most cases. Now I am more careful and enjoy being chased (100% not like RL). Perhaps there should be some form of sex education classes in SL. Any good teachers out there?
shockwave yareach
Apr 25th, 2007
My experiences? *puzzled look* I haven’t given any. But I guess I shall give a vague description here, not releasing any names or details.
First of all, I’m a furry. Wolf, if that matters to you. My view is that if you can be anything, there’s no sense being stuck in the same human form. I’m a male in RL and a male in SL too. I’ve had female alts in other mucks, so I don’t consider it to be tabboo or unusual. The group I hang out with is about 2:1 female to male in SL. A couple of the females are RL males. I’m not concerned with it in the least because I like them for who they are in the game and for the people they are in RL. They are trusted friends in both places.
While sex isn’t my primary interest in SL, what I have is very enjoyable because my partners are descriptive, detailed, mature and caring. Being good writers is a plus – we don’t just turn on poseballs and grunt. If you want a good experience, get to know a few people whose company you enjoy and who you know can write a good love scene. If I take less than an hour, I’m doing something wrong. Good VR sex is in the mind, not in the poseballs, so strong writing talents and practice with trusted friends are key. We think of it as collaborative writing that gets the hormones burning.