The Voyeur – Nothing but Mammals
by wendell on 03/11/07 at 10:07 pm
Answers to your questions about love and sex in the metaverse
by Wendell Holmer, virtual advice columnist
Q: I was visiting my girlfriend around Hallowe’en. Just as I started up the stairs, I heard a weird howling noise that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I cammed upstairs and there she was on all fours, with this wolf humping her from behind. Its tongue was hanging out, and it was growling. This wasn’t anything recognizable as a person. This was an animal, and the sight was grotesque. I got out of there, and I have been ignoring her IMs. I don’t know what to say to her.
–Moreau
A: SL is a place where people feel safe trying things they would never consider in real life. There is such a strong taboo against sex with animals in RL—and it’s so degrading—that bestiality has become a cottage industry in SL. You have almost unlimited choices of animal genitalia, and there are horses that ride you. Let’s face it, your friend was not having sex with a real animal. It was just a person with a furry avatar, probably someone she met at a Hallowe’en party. It could just as easily have been a devil or a superhero. You may be upset that she was unfaithful, but it really doesn’t matter what body her lover chose for the occasion.
No Means… Yes?
Q: A guy started hitting on me. He said he was into being a dominant lover, and when I told him I wasn’t interested, he cajoled me. He said, “Come on. All women secretly want to be forced. You all want to be taken against your will.” Am I the only woman who doesn’t have this as a fantasy?
–Gloria
A: No one wants to be raped in real life. But the fantasy is common, because it allows women to confront their deepest fears and their own shame about their sexuality. Since no one can force you to do anything against your will here, the rape victim is actually in control. This particular roleplay troubles me because a man who practices rape in the metaverse may be more likely to act out that fantasy in real life.
Women want to be treated with respect, friendship, and tenderness. The guy you met sounds arrogant, stupid, and misogynistic. You were right to avoid him.
Workaholic
Q: My boyfriend is a businessman, and he is wrapped up in projects all the time. When we are together, he gazes off, and I’m talking to myself while he answers his IMs. The other night, he stood on the floor of my living room for 45 minutes and stared into space while he talked to somebody about a café opening. The only time I have his undivided attention is while we are making love. Otherwise it is impossible to have a conversation. I have had it.
–Evita
A: IMs are like cell phone calls. When you are with someone, you pay attention to that person. You don’t answer the phone. If there is a genuine emergency, your boyfriend should excuse himself and deal with it as expeditiously as possible. For all other pings, he should reply, “Sorry. I’m busy now. I’ll get back to you.” You may think your boyfriend is unable to set his priorities—but that’s not true. He is very clear about his priorities. The calls are more important than you. He is obviously a workaholic, but his time with you should be when he puts that aside. Make it very clear to him that this has become an issue for you—he may think he’s taking care of you by taking care of business, when really he is being inattentive to you. Insist on being treated with courtesy and respect when you are together. If he can’t do that, then the relationship is always going to come in a distant second.
Maria Leveaux
Nov 3rd, 2007
On Question #2
If he was “Cajoling” he wasn’t a dominant. Dominants don’t beg. Having many years experience in those sorts of relationships I can Tell you it generally Isn’t something that even comes up on the first Date.
There are many ways to Draw women in, but his method wasn’t any of them. Uncultured, Crude, it was the approach of a lower order primate, or a College student. Wendell is right, Avoid him. If you aren’t looking for a dominant Male type, a person like this is a Real put off, If you are, this person would turn out to be a pathetic disapointment.
Maria.
Artemis Fate
Nov 3rd, 2007
I’m really starting to think these are all just made up on the spot.
A guy named Moreau asking questions about a beastman? Moreau as in the Island of Dr. Moreau?
Wendell Holmer
Nov 3rd, 2007
Well, of course I make up the names.
Naz Fride
Nov 3rd, 2007
In re: Your answer to Moreau’s question about his GF having SLex with a wolf avatar…It is disingenuous to disregard society’s taboos against bestiality as if it is of no consequence in SL. We are all acutely aware that “age play” has been expressly forbidden in SL (and I’m not here to have that argument again.) Society’s taboos against bestiality are roughly equivalent to those against pedophilia, and to pretend like they don’t exist it intellectually dishonest. I’m not making a value judgment either way…just keeping the facts clear.
Buffy Waco
Nov 3rd, 2007
Maybe you hould leave your girlfriend and look for a proper woman who wont sleep with animals. Like me
. Im Buffy Waco so IM me.
Brennan Planer
Nov 4th, 2007
Wendell completely avoided the First 2 questions and gave a different answer. Sounds like Linden Labs material!
DF
Nov 5th, 2007
In before haters BAWWWWWing about furries being so sick.
In between their fapping over pictures of lloli neko’s being tentacle raeped of course LOL
UhNope
Nov 5th, 2007
“This particular roleplay troubles me because a man who practices rape in the metaverse may be more likely to act out that fantasy in real life.”
Yeah about the same likelihood as being more likely to stumble and fall when walking while chewing bubble gum, than walking without being so preoccupied. There will always be a few, but most people can handle themselves.
(Try to reconcile the author’s belief on “roleplay rape” being “may be more likely” vs “roleplay bestiality” being “things they would never consider in real life”, and prepare to have your mind boggled).
Nina A
Nov 6th, 2007
Yes contradictory advice. Maybe it’s because it’s woman performing virtual bestiality that it wouldn’t likely be copied in real life and it’s man performing virtual rape that means that it is likely to copied in real life. I don’t know, but the advice is puzzling. Take a stand either way and don’t be duplicitous.
Angel
Nov 6th, 2007
>> “You may be upset that she was unfaithful, but it really doesn’t matter what body her lover chose for the occasion.”
So it’s ok then if her lover chose the body of a 10 year old boy.
>> “SL is a place where people feel safe trying things they would never consider in real life.”
Of course, but surely you know of the argument that people keep sprouting that actions in SL will awaken urges that need to be acted out in real life?
>> “This particular roleplay troubles me because a man who practices rape in the metaverse may be more likely to act out that fantasy in real life.”
mmkay *backs away slowly* In other words what troubles you on a personal level say hmmmm “raep” is worrying as it might travel into real life but what you find kinky on a personal level say hmmm “bonking horses” is fine. There is no way someone would do it real life.
What about your views on cartoon kids and sex? Gorean Masters and awakening latent mysongonistic tendancies or Vampires and necrophilia.
Do the cards fall the same way? What you personally dont like is bad while those you find kinky are rationalised as ok?
Natasha
Nov 7th, 2007
Angel, don’t try to reason with that… you’ll only fail, as with all people who base ‘facts’ on personal opinion.
Like those who keep on screaming that rapeplay and sexual ageplay etc etc will cause people to do those things IRL, while stuff like GTA are A-OK. There’s no reasoning with them, as clearly they already made up their minds… I however still have to see any evidence of this kind of matter, proving one way or another.
Everyone, don’t take advice like Mr. Holmer gives.
Anyway, I’m mnore suprised at Mr. Moreau’s reaction.
OMG my pretend GF in a computer gave CHEATED ON ME!!
WITH A DOG!
Hello? Would it have been different if it were just another guy? And if with a girl? Probably would have jumped right into that bed in that case, hmm? Cause of course then it isnt cheating, but having a nice 3 some in a virtual computer game.
Your GF probably is a dog herself lol
Dating in SL. Srs Bsnss.
bozza
Nov 7th, 2007
well in regards to ‘workoholic, the blatantly obvious answer seems to be to bonk your b/fs brains out 24/7.