Kissing a Pony Naga – Amber Linden’s Shame!
by Pixeleen Mistral on 13/03/08 at 8:12 am
Not invited to the March 15 Linden Lab party? Blame it on the Valentines Day party.
Half pony, half snake Kayi Laa prepares to kiss Amber Linden on Valentines day
While some believe the Lab is limiting saturday’s party to concierge-level residents because the Lindens love virtual land high rollers, the motivations behind the Linden’s party plans are much more complex — a story only the Herald could bring to light.
On Valentine’s day, the Lab had a party open to all residents, celebrating how much we all love the free labor volunteers that selflessly assist the venture capitalists starving waifs who bankroll Philip Linden’s dream. Yes, we all <3 volunteers - and to celebrate their uncompensated labor, a number of telecommuter Linden staffers made themselves available for PG-level kissing in-world. When you get paid by the hour, does it really matter if you are repetitively clicking a kiss animation or answering yet another unhappy resident?
As I arrived at the party, a disheveled Moo Money wandered past me muttering something about “ewwww… he was all hands”. This may partly explain Ms. Money’s recent virtual marriage to Ms. Molley Mayflower – some stability in e-relationships is a worthwhile goal.
Moo Money is now in a stable e-relationship with Molley Mayflower
After the obligatory crash and re-log the scene finally rezzed, and I walked over to the kissing booth where Amber Linden was holding court in her best party dress. Jimbo Quality really missed out this time – he has had a HUGE crush on Amber since she danced with him last fall – but perhaps the prospect of Amber kissing pretty much any avatar who wandered by was a bit much for Jimbo’s delicate nature.
I chatted for a few minutes with Shaun Altman – Shaun didn’t want a kiss from the Lindens or their volunteers – I think he was wondering how to finally close out the Ginko affair. Or maybe he was looking into selling toad and frog futures – something about valentine’s day kissing booths seemed to bring out a strong representation of amphibious avatars, a few of which morphed into princes after a Linden peck on the cheek. So as a procession of starstruck fanboys and fangirls queued up for a discrete Linden kiss I wondered why I bothered coming to this event. Then my prayers were answered and something interesting happened.
the author, Shaun Altmen, and Kayi Laa
Like many of the Herald readers, I’ve always dreamed of being embraced by a buxom half snake, half pony – and on valentines day, my dreams came true. Kayi Laa slithered into the scene and… time stood still. We seemed to hit it off, and within minutes I was offered a big hug and kiss – which I eagerly accepted. The experience itself was unique. One of the bystanders said, “Pixeleen’s going to get Griffined”, but as Kayi coiled around me it was not like that – this was a PG sim after all, and we were not trying to make baby unicorns.
I get a hug and a kiss
After we untangled, SL crashed for me right on cue – it had been almost 15 minutes – and I went through the usual restart the computer and relog exercise that has become an integral part of the SL experience. By the time I got back online Kayi was next in line for Amber Linden’s attention.
Amber was less adventurous than I, and used her own kiss animation. I suspect Kayi got a bit of tongue in anyway – those snake tongues are tricky to avoid.
anticipation builds
Amber melts
it was so wrong – but it felt soooo good
But what does this have to do with Saturday’s exclusive concierge party? Unverified Linden tells me that the Lindens hope to party with a better class of resident who will play by the Lab’s unspoken party rules. By limiting the party to the rich landowners, the odds of being pony snakekissed go down significantly. The real issue? After loving a pony naga, it can be hard to go back. Amber may now be a ruined woman, and the Lab needs all the help it can get.
What LL had in mind: Tenshi Vielle and Intlibber Brautigan share a tentative smooch on Valentines day
Prokofy Neva
Mar 13th, 2008
You forgot to report that Molly Mayflower is Tizzers Foxchase. And Tizzers Foxchase is, let me see now, was it Hazim Gazov? This will clarify in the comments. Did these two meet at SLCC last August in real? Or have they always been an item?
Jim Schack
Mar 13th, 2008
Actually, I’m Hazim. Close but no cigar.
moo Money
Mar 13th, 2008
People can be friends and partnered, Prok. We shop a bunch in SL. It’s not like we’re cybering. Haven’t you ever had a friend? Or are you too busy whining about how everyone has wronged you?
Darien Caldwell
Mar 13th, 2008
LL has been having Concierge parties forever, and there is a good reason they are called Concierge parties. Because they are for Concierge residents. Duh. It has nothing to do with kissing pony-snakes or anything nefarious. It’s just LL’s way of honoring those that blow large chunks of cash on Second Life. Equivalent to going to Las Vegas and getting one of those cheap T-Shirts. “I spent thousands of dollars with LL, and all I got was this lousy party.” Another poor attempt to make something from nothing. Maybe it is time for another Unicorn baby story. I hear Sensual Stoneworks has a new one out.
Alyx Stoklitsky
Mar 13th, 2008
One thing that always amuses me about these events (and amused me about the concierge party last year too) is that the supposedly ‘upper-class’ and wealthy avatars are generally all ugly and crude, with deformed shapes and poorly made attachments.
I guess it’s because they’re too busy trying to make minimum wage to dare spending a penny of their e-money on actually enjoying themselves or being creative.
I <3 Cupid Linden
Mar 13th, 2008
Of course, Cupid Linden was in a kid av, so anybody caught smooching with him was immediately reported to German authorities for pedophilia.
Molley Mayflower
Mar 13th, 2008
<3
Witness X
Mar 13th, 2008
No no, you’ve got it wrong Prokie-doke. Molly is me, and I am you. Isn’t that obvious enough?
anon
Mar 13th, 2008
And Hazim Gazov is Angel Fluffy..who is PROKOFY NEVA
The conspiracy widens.
Red
Mar 13th, 2008
I remember when this site was good ..shark jumped kids.
Hazim
Mar 13th, 2008
I’m not anybody dammit. I’m totally psyched that my ex-e-wife is hitched with Moo Money. Means I’ll be getting the old menage e-trois action in the ex-sex dept. Lemme get my double e-peen ready. I’m ascii cat, so its like having double-paws.
I herd Moo is hot and a bit wild in bed anyways, Plastic said so. Wheres my leather stuff when I need it?
Nacon
Mar 13th, 2008
Uhh… ok, Valentine day was like… more than a week ago?
Talk about fast news on the net! (idiot)
Nacon
Mar 13th, 2008
Uhh… ok, Valentine day was like… more than a week ago?
Talk about fast news on the net! (idiot)
Lurdan Huszar
Mar 13th, 2008
….Intlibber has a big ass. I find this fascinating. *pokes Int’s ass*
Dr. Internet
Mar 14th, 2008
Summary of the TL;DR comment:
BAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW NO ONE INVITED ME AND I CANT GO IN AND HARASS RANDOM PEOPLE WHO ARE E-POPULAR! BAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
whatever
Mar 14th, 2008
Who the hell cares who MooMoo is partnered with? It’s probably her alt anyways. Did we really need an article dedicated to it?
Prokofy Neva
Mar 14th, 2008
Every article that can help enlighten the ignorant public to the crimes and hatred of these Woodbury cumshots is needed. At the very least some new retard might learn which groups to stay away from.
Lavendel Ninetails
Mar 16th, 2008
So what *DO* customer liaisons earn? It’s been intimated on these pages before that this information has been leaked and is generally known. But I don’t know it! Can’t you just come out and tell us so we know how much pity to take on the poor pony-kissing salary drones of Linden Labs?
Hazim Gazov
Mar 18th, 2008
Intlibber, are you impersonating me AGAIN? I mean, I know you think it’s funny and all, but it’s not like I ever impersonated you. Let’s stick to failing at protecting people from the PN and running e-stock exchanges, shall we? Mmmkay. Also, blogs suck, I’m only reading this because someone linked me.
Celebrex.
Aug 26th, 2009
Celebrex lawyers houston.
Wyoming celebrex lawyers.