Nipplegate: LL’s 5th Birthday SHOCK!

by kris on 28/06/08 at 3:36 pm

Mr. Winky makes a public appearance on PG-rated land

by Kris Dibou


I went to the SL5B celebration the other day and witnessed Artfox Daviau’s wooden sculpture of a lady, sans breasts in order to comply with the rules of the exhibition.  Much to my surprise, only a few steps away was a sculpty rendering of the Statue of David, who was also missing his nipples; however, that was the only item missing! 

David was nekked as a jaybird – letting it all hang out – getting his freak on – swinging in the wind – au natural – in the kiddy park with an open raincoat – wearing his birthday suit – showing off his pingpong set – the man was butt-naked! Worst of all – this statue was being openly displayed on PG-rated land!!

nipple threat removed

So I walked back over to Art’s and looked at all the breast parts spread out on the table (btw, there is now a free nipple-hat vendor at the table) and decided to see what else was in the neighborhood.. Low and behold, I discovered a print of a famous sketch by Da Vinci and not only was this 4-legged man 5 legged — but he had nipples!!!  You heard it here in the Herald first- nipples!

abuse report this NOW – before a child avatar walks by!

OK, maybe we can excuse penises hanging out all over the PG sim, but nipples?!  How could they!  And worse yet, they were male nipples! 

CAUTION: some dangerous nipples may still be present at Linden Lab’s 5th birthday celebration

Now seriously, folks, what is with the double-standard?  Does an artist have to be dead before he can show everyone his penis?  You can’t even argue ‘established’ art, as this is simply another artist’s rendering of the first artist’s work. 

I say let’s give back Artfox’s wooden nipples and call it fair.

18 Responses to “Nipplegate: LL’s 5th Birthday SHOCK!”

  1. Enelar

    Jun 28th, 2008

    Oh I gotta see this, where is this evil nippleless rocking out with his cock out statue at the exibit?

  2. Prokofy Neva

    Jun 28th, 2008

    Hmmm…let me think why this could be.

    Um, the Lindens are gay?

  3. Dr. Internet

    Jun 28th, 2008

    Wow, for once, I can agree with prok.

    The lindens are from san fran after all ;)
    This is the company that will defend the sexual acts of furries before everyone else, after all.

  4. Aya Pelous

    Jun 28th, 2008

    damn they even have the pube hair going. I say double standard indeed. Both pieces are a work of “art” i use the word in quotations because it is being used loosely.

  5. Tina (PetGirl) Bergman

    Jun 28th, 2008

    I wonder where they guys that did this got the milk from there moms?

    Or did they get the fake milk by Nestle as babys? Its something wrong in the system. Scary.

    /Tina (

  6. Angel

    Jun 28th, 2008

    Have child avatar need an SLURL so I can take photos.

  7. pixeleen mistral

    Jun 28th, 2008

    Mr Winky (but no nipples) may be seen at

  8. Enelar

    Jun 29th, 2008

    Wanna know something funny? The SL birthday shirts are almost see through so when I put them on my female avatar, you can see her nipples.

  9. anonymous

    Jun 29th, 2008

    LL is so ass-backwards. This shit doesn’t even surprise me.

  10. Alyx Stoklitsky

    Jun 30th, 2008

    I laughed.

    Nothing like a bit of backwards beaureaucracy.

  11. Still Giggling

    Jun 30th, 2008

    I was crying with laughter after reading this. Particularly this funny paragraph:

    “David was nekked as a jaybird – letting it all hang out – getting his freak on – swinging in the wind – au natural – in the kiddy park with an open raincoat – wearing his birthday suit – showing off his pingpong set – the man was butt-naked! Worst of all – this statue was being openly displayed on PG-rated land!!”

    Wiping the tears away from my eyes as I continue to giggle.

  12. Sigmund Leominster

    Jun 30th, 2008

    This is nothing more that sexual revisionism. The original David did, in fact, have nipples. Nipples, contrary to what SL revisionism may suggest, are an integral part of the human anatomy, and their removal hints of a bizarre form of neo-puritanism that we should be working toward eradicating. Furthermore, it beggars belief that his tiny tallywhacker is shown in all its glory. Why allow a limp love-pump and not tasty tickle-buttons?

    And why the fuss about nipples and giggle sticks in PG areas anyway? I hate to be a master of the bleedin’ obvious, but 50% of the world’s population grab a hold of their Dr. Cyclops several times a day. I might also add the male babies think nothing of tickling the trouser snake when given the chance.

    Meanwhile millions of babies (and sensible adults) have their lips around someone else’s nipples on a regular basis. And hey, as an aside, why is it in the US that if a woman gets both her tits out to swing around a pole she gets paid, whereas if the same women gets one tit out to feed a baby she gets fined?

    There is zero reason to hide away any genitalia because, and let’s be honest, we all know what the damn things look like!

    A good friend of mine said that “America was founded by Puritans – and it still shows!” Let’s just say “No!” to the repressive revisionism. This is a practice up with which we shall not put.

  13. Prokofy Neva

    Jun 30th, 2008

    Sigmund, you are ridiculous.

    Could you name the European or Latin American or Asian country where it’s ok to walk down the main street of the city with both breasts hanging out or your dick hanging on. There isn’t any such place.

    Oh, you have in mind an African village? Well, that’s fine. But that’s not Europe or Asia or Latin America — or even the major cities of Africa.

    There is a nude beach somewhere? Ok, that’s great, hey, we even have those in America!

    But your idea that “Puritans” are wrecking everybody’s normal behaviour is seriously messed up — in a way that only Puritans could indulge in.

    There isn’t any place in India, China, Russia, Germany, England, Spain, Peru, Chile — name a country — where you get to walk around with your bits hanging out, and those countries can’t be said to be suffering from “Puritans,” although they have other religious and philosophical traditions that simply find it acceptable to clothe nakedness.

  14. Witness X

    Jun 30th, 2008

    It was a recreation of Michaelangelo’s David! A little perspective here:

    “Adam on Hollywood.

    His fig leaf on Vine.”

  15. Sigmund Leominster

    Jun 30th, 2008

    Prokovy, you are sublime!

    Of course I am ridiculous. The whole point was to be ridiculous because ridicule is what a discussion about nippleless renditions of real world artifacts deserves. And toss ‘non sequitur’ into the mix because to leap from my ridiculous satire to having “your breasts hanging out or your dick hanging out” in Europoean cities is tangential to say the least!

    I will, however, stand by the general idea of the puritanical influence in the US. Janet Jackson flashed a nipple and the whole country goes into spasm. Meanwhile in Europe, the press had a field day with laughing at – and not with – the whole episode. Any hint that a US politician has a mistress is met with immediate calls for resignation; any hint that a French minister has NO mistress and he’s branded as odd. Ex-President Bill Clinton gets a blow job and there are calls for impeachment; Ex-Deputy PM John Prescott has a fling with a mistress and the comment is “lucky bastard.” The fact you see no difference between US and European attitudes to sexuality hardly makes ME messed up!

    The fact there’s even ANY discussion here about nipples is very telling. Lighten up dude, your morality’s showing!

  16. sence & reason

    Jul 1st, 2008

    There is a difrence between art and pornography,
    On a school planned trip to the art museum a child is
    much more likely to see more nipples and other parts in question.

    So what is the difrence, focus on the context not the content….
    Just a thought, before the libral nonsence insues.

  17. KMeist Hax

    Jul 2nd, 2008

    The one SL naughy bit that doesn’t deserve to be removed.

  18. Lykurgus

    Jul 5th, 2008

    Is it just me, or does the area above Davids snag bear a passing resemblance to half a vagina?
    They’re showing girls’ rude bits again! Quick!! File an abuse report NOW!!!

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