Eye of the Beholder
by Jessica Holyoke on 21/05/09 at 3:10 pm
by Jessica Holyoke
Perception is reality. Its a phrase I learned when I held a supervisory position for a large multi-national before I went to law school. For some readers, this might be a surprise because my work experience would make me older than it would seem by my avatar and my previous statements. Most people did not know that, it might change people's perceptions of me a little, but nothing fundamental.
In the past, I was attacked for supposedly supporting the People's Republic of China. In these attacks, it was suggested that I was the daughter of Chinese communist officials, which would also allege that I was Han Chinese in RL with a blonde European avatar. A very different change in race, but no one was lining the streets calling for my head because my race didn't match my avatar.
But suggest that I am a man in real life and everything changes.
And I have been accused on a number of occasions, as have other women on-line as a way of intimidation in one form or another. People will try to silence you if they intimate that you are a man in real life. People have had a problem with my writing about Gor on the Herald and have gone to my editor and myself banging on the table if I am a man in real life, simply because there must not be any women on Gor.
Typically when I am asked this question, I say pass for a number of reasons, not the least of which is because I have said I was a female before and I got stalked. Another is because I believe men and women should have the opportunity to live in the shoes of the other gender which they would otherwise not be able to do. If you believe the person on the other side of the screen is a man or a woman, then you would treat that person as a man or a woman. Once you know otherwise, it is sometimes an effort to keep that illusion going; its still there in your head that the person you are talking to is not the same as what is on your screen. I once worked with in the clubs do that with me; try to be friends both as a man and a woman, and it was an effort, not much of one, but an effort to treat one as a boy and the other a girl.
And in those same clubs, I had another co-worker that hurriedly told me on stage that she was a man in RL and it bothered me because it felt that there was something wrong with being a woman that he had to assuage his ego to tell me that he was a man. To me, having a female or male avatar say right out, I'm not the same in RL, feels like a cop out; like you don't want the experience of knowing what its like to walk in someone else's shoes, at least not completely. Which is why I am very big on, I would rather not know. Unless we are sharing what happens in real life, I would rather not have the tables switched on me.
The reason why I am bringing it up now is that people are suggesting gender verification is just another level of trust in an on-line virtual world, which it is not. Because of the above, a person who lies about their gender might be lying because they want to experience life as the opposite gender and if someone directly asks them, their only options are to tell the truth and stop the experience, lie about it or not answer, which is why I don't answer so that passing on the question will be common again.
In all this talk about verification being voluntary, the fact is that if you do not gender verify, it will be known to others, because the space will be blank or it will say "not verified." And we are presuming when someone says gender verified, that mean that the gender matches. So the system will have to place a label on the screen saying if the person is male or female, which is the only way a verification system would work. I could be "gender verified " but then switch genders between avatars on the same account if I had an androgynous name.
But this skips over the real reason people on-line ask for your gender. The reason why people ask for gender on-line is for advertising dollars. Just go to a social networking website of a friend of the opposite gender and see their ads in relation to your ads. When the Lindens publish how many women use Second Life, they aren't saying look how egalitarian we are, they are saying look how many women in this age group are using our product so you can advertise on here. When I signed up for MySpace and ticked off the female box, it asks me if I want to sell my eggs. Men don't have that ad.
For many people, SL is SL, RL is RL. The only way the immersion works is if people accept and buy into the illusion. As a community, in order to allow for the experience, we must let our eyes focus on the screen and not what is beyond.
Satan
May 21st, 2009
You may be surprised to know that I whole-heartedly agree with this. Except for the perception is reality part. Perception is perception. If it was reality then it’d be called reality. Perceptions can’t be reality because they vary so much from person to person. There is fact and there is fiction and there are many times where my own perception is inaccurate. If I were to go on claiming that it was reality because it is my perception then I’d never learn from my mistakes. The biggest reason why we have so many problems is that people think that their perceptions are reality. It’s much easier to throw our hands up and claim that we’re entitled to our opinion without regard for the truth. But at what cost? The cost is division and conflict instead of unity and peace. Why not sacrifice our perceptions in favor of a better world and our own personal growth?
Anyways, I agree on the gender thing. If I want to create a female avatar in Second Life then I should be able to do so and telling everyone that I am really male would seem to defeat the whole purpose.
For what it’s worth, I hear Prokofy calling the gender of every SL female into question all the time. I’ve learned to ignore it. Listening to her bullshit is part of what cost me a valuable friendship. I should have known better.
Don’t let that evil bitch get you down and don’t let her make you feel compelled to address her ludicrous claims. Rheta Shan is just the latest example of an SL female who got dissed by the evil cat-lady, who seems to take the NO WIMMINZ ON THE INTERBUTTS meme to a whole new level.
Baron Cuttlesmith von Blogharder, Esqu, MD
May 21st, 2009
This is an extremely self-absorbed “article.” In fact, you refer to yourself around 45 fucking times in the entire piece. The whole purpose of this article is to make a spectacle of yourself and ramble on about your own authenticity. Given this, I would wholly suspect you to be female, as very few men are as capable of being so complete drama-starving queens as you yourself prove to be.
Let’s condense your disorganized ramblings to show just how utterly meaningless and full of pure bullshit it is:
I went to law school
I was a SUPERVISOR at a multinational
I got into an internet argument about politics and got trolled.
Someone said I was a man IRL and I got all pissy about it.
People STALKED ME ON THE INTERNET.
Someone trolled me by saying I was a man in real life.
People don’t like what I write about Gor.
I worked in a SL club.
I had someone tell me they were a man IRL and it bothered me.
I actually care about gender verification for some stupid reason.
SL is not real life.
Jessica Holyoke, you join the ranks of complete cuntish fucks whom the Herald allows to post so that they can troll themselves. By giving you a voice, they are allowing you to display your vast abundance of fail to the world so that others can be amused at your expense. You are much like a clown who doesn’t know his nose is foam and his face painted.
We
May 21st, 2009
Well put Baron! I’m impressed.
Jessica, in you I am not.
Chav
May 21st, 2009
I don’t understand this. It’s just words, they make no sense to me.
meta wha?
May 22nd, 2009
Just be some weird corrupt hermaphrodite furry then you can go fuck yourself and it won’t matter.
moses
May 22nd, 2009
so why stop with age and sex verification. i want also species verification. i have met some big dragons in SL and although it is that i can not prove it, i do not think some of this are dragons in RL. this bothers me a great ammount. i do not like being fooled. all i ask is satisfaction. some photograph of your hoard, your lair, you breathing your fire. yes.
Corona Anatine
May 22nd, 2009
In a previous comment Satan said
“Then why does Quantum physics prove that life only exists because of the phenomenon that is free will? Reality is observed into existence.”
= the act of perception creates reality into existence
yet now he states
“Except for the perception is reality part. Perception is perception. If it was reality then it’d be called reality. Perceptions can’t be reality”
=reality is independent of perception
???
these statements mutually contradict
would you care to clarify what you actually believe is the case?
Pappy Enoch
May 22nd, 2009
Bee tuff, Miz Jessica. Don’t let them rascals git yu down none! Po’ gal–it cood bee wurse; yu cood be mee:
I dune went to the skool o’ hard knocks, then jail.
I were a SUPERVISOR at Still an’ it blowed up.
I got intu an internet argument about outhouses an’ got mine blowed up IRL.
Someone dun said I were a college profusser IRL and they cood be rite: if so, it am the end o’ higher ed.
Bill Collectors dun STALKED ME at the County Fair n’ give up cause I ain’t got no munny.
Someone dun trolled me by saying I were a stinkin’ polecat in real life.
People don’t like what I rites about nuffin.
I worked in a SL club as a strippur, got fired the first minnit.
I dun had someone tell me they were Ted Kennerdy IRL and it botherified me cause we was goin’ steady.
I actually cares about gender verification so’s I kin git me sum real gals.
SL is not real life. Thank gawd.
Corona Anatine
May 22nd, 2009
attacked for supporting china
why is supporting china a bad thing?
not greatly different from USA
one nation calls oppression of ordinary people
‘goverement policy’
while the other calls oppression ‘market forces’
[while Goreans just call it 'by the book']
Satan
May 22nd, 2009
@Corona
They don’t contradict. You’re just too stupid to get it. I will attempt to clarify it despite the fact that you have a pea-sized brain so it’s likely beyond your comprehension. Here goes:
I am stating that reality is observed into existence by a collective consciousness of which we are only fragments of the collective whole. I do not ascribe to notions that quantum physics suggests that we can alter the fabric of reality in any significant fashion. Perceptions of individual fragments do not in any way reflect the reality of the collective whole. Like it or not, no one can deny that if the universe is without time or space, that means that we are all ‘fragments’ of the quantum field working in unison to form the tapestry that is the universe. Each individual strand (or fragment) holds other nearby strands in place. One cannot be significantly altered without affecting the tapestry as a whole. Time is the human illusion and in the quantum reality everything that is, was, and ever will be happened in the very same instant. Of course that also means that understanding the mechanics of non-locality from the perspective of a consciousness in time is impossible and *GASP* quantum processes appear random.
If the above is not incontrovertible evidence of a supreme being then I have no idea what is.
Please try and argue like you’re not hopelessly stupid in the future, if nothing else then so I can at least be entertained by you. Obviously if you could observe reality into existence in the most literal sense than you’d be fucking some children right now, wouldn’t you?
Satan
May 22nd, 2009
Corona,
Here is a helpful quote:
“Bohr used to say that if you aren’t confused by quantum physics, then you haven’t really understood it,” -John A Wheeler, Princeton University.
This is why quantum physicists say that the lines between observer and observed are increasingly blurred. Evidence suggests that reality is observed into existence yet we cannot spontaneously fly or create fire out of thin air.
I am stating that reality is observed into existence by a collective consciousness of which we are only fragments of the collective whole. I do not ascribe to notions that quantum physics suggests that we can alter the fabric of reality in any significant fashion. Perceptions of individual fragments do not in any way reflect the reality of the collective whole, since to do so would mean that a single ‘fragment’ would have to be more powerful than the whole or at least equally so which of course would nullify the relevance of other fragments. Like it or not, no one can deny that if the universe is without time or space, that means that we are all ‘fragments’ of the quantum field working in unison to form the tapestry that is the universe. Each individual strand (or fragment) holds other nearby strands in place. One cannot be significantly altered without affecting the tapestry as a whole. Time is the human illusion and in the quantum reality everything that is, was, and ever will be happened in the very same instant. Of course that also means that understanding the mechanics of non-locality from the perspective of a consciousness in time is impossible and *GASP* quantum processes appear random.
You’re quite the cute little caveman though, aren’t you? Attempting to match me in a battle of wits when you are clearly outmatched. Good luck with that.
Corona anatine
May 22nd, 2009
RE
I actually cares about gender verification so’s I kin git me sum real gals.
so you believe that ‘gender verification in SL’ will give you access to ‘real gals’
the flaw in this statement needs no explaining
Satan
May 22nd, 2009
And Corona, one of the biggest problems in the world right now is little cavemen like you who think that being civilized means pursuing your own individuality at the expense of everyone else.
Democracy is not a license to run amok and wreak all sorts of havoc just because you feel like it so feel free to sit there in your little soap box casting judgment on nations that you’ve never even visited as though you could possibly even have anything useful to say.
Clearly some people have very misguided ideals as to what democracy entails.
Refer to me comment on your misinterpretation of my statements relating to quantum physics for further clarification as to what exactly you simply aren’t ‘getting’, provided it gets approved.
karl Reisman
May 22nd, 2009
I am surprised at the vitriol displayed in the comments. I think it is a good thing to keep the RL gender of a player maskled to other users. The gender verification only serves the needs of Adverizers and the Militant. There really is no need for this. The Age Verification I do see something fo a need for in terms of legal issued but there is no legal need for Gender verification.
For the guys if youa re afraid of sticking your E-dick into a fake woman, Rather than just fash cash and have them go down in the dating mathod of Eddie Murphy spend some time talking with them A.) this is a social environment, BE SOcail, and 2.) After a while of conversation it’s pretty easy to tell who is and who isn’t an RL woman.
–Karl
brinda allen
May 23rd, 2009
@ Karl….thank you. I am impressed that jessica actually printed some of the idiotic hatefull crap i read….
and yes BTW…it has occurred to me that the dragons i see in cathedral mite not actually be dragons. Hmmm…how are we ever going to gender identify them =^..^=
Jessica Holyoke
May 23rd, 2009
@ Brinda;
I pretty much will post anything other than websites that advertise gold for cash because I believe that even if it might be mean spirited or lacks understanding, its still worthwhile to be heard.
Kat
May 24th, 2009
Wait. How the hell did quantum physics get brought up?
General Drama
May 24th, 2009
the universe is one huge animated holographic sculptyfest. you are all simulacra. This is the biggest LOL on those who tell you to get a real life. There is only a choice of living in a really nice simulation (what you refer to as ‘reality’) in which for 99.99% of you, your life sucks ass and the PTB keep it that way, or living in a shitty simulation (i.e. SL or other ‘virtual worlds’) in which you can still become anything you strive to become with hard work and creativity. Hell of a choice.
http://www.simulation-argument.com/
Ari Blackthorne
May 26th, 2009
I’m just curious as hell where you got “gender verification” from.
No such thing has or will exist with SL. You *know* that, or you simply don’t pay any attention and rather take what you haven’t paid any attention to and misinform others.
But so be it, most people are far too gullible and pathetic to do their own research that they take almost everything presented to that as face value, rather than hearsay.
Meh.
Dagger
May 26th, 2009
I see it as this
If you are gay male or straight female: I’m a girl
If you are a straight male or Lesbian: I’m a guy
If you are Bi my name is HAL 9000 and in a relationship with Dave
@dagger
May 27th, 2009
Re: Dagger
And what if they’re a bisexual nerd? they’ll still come on to you.
You clearly havent really thought this trough
Satan
May 27th, 2009
Re: @dagger
Would you care to share with us non-high schoolers what exactly a nerd is?
Most people stop differentiating when they become mature but clearly you have missed that memo. If you are referring to free-thinking and innovative intellectuals who refuse to suppress their identities at the whim of others then I wear the title with pride. The only people still using the term ‘nerd’ are usually the exact opposite of this. Condensing their pathetic thought-processes into a few paragraphs would surely be unpleasant for them. Someone whose life revolves entirely around the suppression of their true self in favor of acceptance is extremely pathetic. They wast their whole lives and all of their potential on a bunch of lost people who are also trapped in conformity and going nowhere. In the end, what exactly does this get you? Usually it means you’re broke and friendless because all of your so-called friends are two-faced backstabbers who will betray you in an instant just as they betray themselves to a completely transparent illusion perpetrated by other conformists. Gee, that sounds like a successful and happy life. Not.
tl;dr: Enjoy your fail. Appearances can be deceiving. *hope this helps*
Jessica Holyoke
May 27th, 2009
Ari,
While the most recent attempt at an official gender verification within a client did not have wide spread support, I feel that in the various communities, gender verification is something that is desired. This is based on how people demand to know your gender when you won’t reveal it, when people started using voice and were relieved that the women were really women and with the speech chilling way terms like mangina are used. And it has been asked for as a technical aspect before, along with country of origin.