He’s Baaaaaack! The Return of Gideon Television.
by Alphaville Herald on 21/08/07 at 7:00 am
“The last thing I remember, I was running for the door….”
That was eight months ago, at the Aloft. The fog clears, and memory comes streaming back to me, gushing across my eyes like an enthusiastic actress in a hard-to-believe-it’s-real stag loop. But as the drugs finally wane, I begin to question. Where am I? Where have I been? Whatever happened to Gideon Television?
August 18, 2007
Here is where the story begins. It’s been eight months of happiness. Of bliss. Gideon reformed, mended his philandering ways. He found a cabin by the sea, on the Nantucket coast. Took a lover who he planned to make his wife. A lifetime of shit provided ample manure on which to grow a bed of roses, and they lived happily ever after…
No wait – that’s wrong, it never happened that way. Didn’t that crazy broad walk out on me, to set up a floating knocking shop with her lesbian lover? Or… the fog clears some more. I start again.
Eight months of happniness with “Z”. A cabin by the sea… No… that’s not right either…
Eight months of happiness with “T”…
Eight months of superheroic sex games, on a love platform with “S”, and…FUCK
The women flit across my mind, like designer skins falling from a rotten onion….
Wasn’t there a seductress with a chassis like a fine automobile, a night of fuel-injected turbo passion when she chained me to her station and serviced my engine?
Or a stripper named Roxy on the roof of the Million Dollar Hotel, who brought me back from the dead, when all seemed lost?
And I remember the christening of the Grotto. While a heron warbled above, the real nesting happened below at the water’s edge. Way below. Do I have to spell it out?
I realize my XCite is ruling my head. And with that realization, I feel relaxed, more like my old self. None of this was real. Imaginary liaisons covering up imaginary nightmares. What the fuck is going on? I peel some more.
I half remember opening up the Pontiac dealership…
… but would Gideon sell his soul for a handful of Linden? I think not.
A monochrome memory – I try to buy the world a Coke, surrounded by foxes and vixens – and I realize it’s Fox & Lillani from Big Brother, and my fantasies collide, splintering the dream, and the cold light of reality streams in.
And then I wake and look around me, at the four semen-stained walls that surround me, and I realize…
Yes, I was only dreaming.
It’s been 8 months… here at Riker’s Asylum, since the Aloft bad mojo seeped into my brain. For the first time my mind is clear. It was all a lie – the cabin, the lovers, the adventures. There has been only this – the padded cell, the internal probes and the electro-shock treatment. For the first time, my mind is alert, and I can think only of missed opportunities, and of escape.
Fate intervenes. It’s time for my daily shot in the ass that’s been keeping me sedate, served by Nurse Shepherd, a 50 year old she-male who’s breath smells of rotten lavender and parmesan. Except…
..today, they make the mistake that will eventually close the asylum, and force the administrators to advertise enemas on demand in a back room in Hard Alley. They send me a virginal student nurse – a young fashionista performing her community service for shoplifting.
And it’s like taking hard candy from sleeping baby. Within minutes, she’s mine. I seduce her with passion, and with the English accent, and promises of SLebrity.
I almost feel guilty. Almost. And while she sighs meekly with whatever passes for a female refractory period, I make my escape.
Shafts of sunlight hit my face, and the Grid shudders, hiccups and stalls. It’s as if the world that birthed Gideon Television tries to shut down, a defense mechanism at the cancer that has returned. But it’s too late – I’ve metastasized. I have returned to the Land of Linden.
I decide to make a grand gesture, a outflowing of Gideon juice that will re-hydrate my followers . The next season of Gideon Television shall be dedicated completely to Sin. The Seven Deadlies – Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Lust, Anger, Envy and Pride. Coming your way, this Fall.
Lock up your daughters, people. Gideon Television is back
Coming soon: Gideon Television, Season Two, Episode One: Gluttony.
Tenshi Vielle
Aug 21st, 2007
You make me feel dirty, Gideon.
Chav Paderborn
Aug 21st, 2007
Who is this person?
Jessica Holyoke
Aug 21st, 2007
Hey! What happened to “What happens in the Grotto stays in the Grotto?”
Nice to see you back Gideon.
Patchouli Woollahra
Aug 21st, 2007
SL’s biggest harmless celebrity lunatic.
http://www.gideontelevision.com
Remember, we’re all crazy, some of us even more so than others xD
d3adlyc0d3c
Aug 21st, 2007
Notice that pretty much every article coming out now is about sex and e-penises and shit. What a bunch of fags.
urizenus
Aug 21st, 2007
Of the 33 articles currently on the front page, 10 are related to sex in some way or other. That is about the same as the % of activity in SL that is “naughty” according to the Lindens. Of course, if you feel threatened by sexuality, Deadly, I can see why it would seem like “every article” was about sex. Maybe you should find a nice PG game to play and troll the blogs there. At least until you grow up.
Nidol
Aug 21st, 2007
http://www.gideontelevision.com/blog//images/07.jpg
http://www.gideontelevision.com/blog//images/05.jpg
http://www.gideontelevision.com/blog//images/04-1.jpg
http://www.gideontelevision.com/blog//images/03.jpg
http://www.gideontelevision.com/blog//images/02.jpg
http://www.gideontelevision.com/blog//images/01.jpg
BRACE FOR IMPACT!
Gideon Television
Aug 21st, 2007
Patchouli – now I know what to put on my badge for SLCC
Love it.
Second Lulz Vigilante
Aug 21st, 2007
@Urizenus
Just call him a hypocrite Urizenus. These PN guys are just as obsessed with sex as anybody on the internet after all. They’re from a subculture that came up with Rule 34 ya know. It’s not like the /i/nvasions are being directed by a bunch of uptight conservative Bible thumpers. lol!
Hexx Triskaidekaphobia
Aug 22nd, 2007
Yay. The hero has returned.
*adds link to blogroll*
TittyTittyLol
Aug 22nd, 2007
lulz is a corruption of ‘lol’.
INTERNET HATE MACHINE?
Whatever
Aug 22nd, 2007
Never heard of this assclown. Perhaps if he actually got a skin, his dreams in his head would become a reality. Sorry, noob….you wear a noob skin, you won’t get all these made up rendezvous.
*Yawn* another sexually charged post by the Herald. Uri, you’re really turning this place into a stupid tabloid. Nice work, moron.
Patchouli Woollahra
Aug 22nd, 2007
Always eager to help a good-natured madman, Gideon. Let’s get together and scarf down some Seclimine sometime, ya?
GideonTV
Aug 22nd, 2007
Whatever, whatever:) All the best writers have bad skin. You never heard of Dennis Potter?
d3adlyc0d3c
Aug 22nd, 2007
Truthfully we dont care alot about the sex, well, cept that its lame that you cant get any in real life and have to e-bang people and stuff. We just enjoy trolling SLers because they are particularly vulnerable as they really take secondlife way way too seriously. Oh and LL security sucks.
See I retired from ‘real hacking’ and came to SL to harrass people (which is more fun, plus I dont have to worry about the FBI). Was a malware author before, just google ‘d3adlyc0d3c’ and dont forget to download and run some of those torrents you find, um, they have naked digibabes….and boobs and shit. They just pop up and fuck your box like mad until you cum.
Astonished Reader
Aug 22nd, 2007
Who is this person and why should we even care?
levi anansi
Aug 23rd, 2007
Time to come home One. Even though your story is finished…
Second Lulz Vigilante
Aug 23rd, 2007
@d3adlyc0d3c
“Truthfully we dont care alot about the sex…”
Yeah, right. Whatever you say.
To wit, Rule 34 aka “There is porn of it” and all the anime boobs on the sites you guys call home.
“…cept that its lame that you cant get any in real life and have to e-bang people and stuff.”
So’s fapping to nekkid anime pics and other online porn. :p
sauce please? rapidshit it? lol!
Teh Puff
Aug 23rd, 2007
Ok who ever he is his ugly as hell
d3adlyc0d3c
Aug 23rd, 2007
Actually I call partioticnigras.com my home, i don’t visit any other ‘Anonymous’ sites. Doesnt matter though. As previously stated we do everything for the lulz. Someone once said that ‘everyone else is our video game’ or whatever. I’m here to say they were fuckin right.
Also here is better news:
http://img510.imageshack.us/my.php?image=secondlife2020070820202jp9.jpg
JLU gets pwned by me in waterhead by giant self replicating homing penises that shout ‘YOU HAVE BEEN PENOS’D’.
It takes LL so long this time to ban me (right next to LindenVilage no less) that even I am relieved to be banned. Kthx.
Oh and contrary to popular belief (apparently) the PN is alive and kicking, new technological adancements combined with legions of new recruits, more activity, and better coordination has resulted in numerous highly successful raids and trolls. We just want everyone to know we aren’t going anywhere. Apparently a shitload of ppl are calling us PN Impersonators when we raid (which is pretty fucking lulzy) because they are under the mistaken impression that the recent drama has resulted in something more than momentary disruption of our operations (if even that). That is all.
Tenshi Vielle
Aug 23rd, 2007
Uri:
I feel threatened by ur sex.
–TenZhi
Second Lulz Vigilante
Aug 23rd, 2007
@d3adlyc0d3c
“Actually I call partioticnigras.com my home, i don’t visit any other ‘Anonymous’ sites.”
Anecdotal. Dude, most raiders I’ve seen obviously think they have something to prove when they say “I haven’t abandoned my RL life for the net” or “In RL I’m actually captain of the football team and get tons of chicks!” But they never back these claims up with any actual evidence so I can only assume that they’re self-hating dorks targeting other dorks.
“As previously stated we do everything for the lulz.”
Translation=adolescent power trip for the RL powerless.
“…highly successful raids and trolls.”
Well finally at least one raider doesn’t use raiding and trolling interchangeably. A real troll doesn’t need special gadgets to piss people off. All he needs is a wicked tongue, a little logic, and insight into a target’s mind.
d3adlyc0d3c
Aug 23rd, 2007
It’s not about proving things (doctor?? lulz) its totally about entertainment. All that other stuff is irrelevant.
Anywayz, I can’t be trolled and you can’t perform a psychoanalysis on the interwebs even with a doctorate. But here, I fixed a few things anyways.
“Translation=just bored”
fixed.
Also no one has ever heard me claim to be captain of a football team or whatever. Im just an ordinary guy that likes to play pranks and mess with people’s heads.
Second Lulz Vigilante
Aug 23rd, 2007
@d3adlyc0d3c
“It’s not about proving things (doctor?? lulz) its totally about entertainment.”
o rly? From an earlier comment:
“We just want everyone to know we aren’t going anywhere.”
And this sounds exactly like you’re doing it to repair your group’s rep instead of for the fun. Hell even Mudkips has said that the serious business mindset had crept into the PN. I guess he wasn’t fucking around when he said that.
And the word I used was “anecdote”. Not “doctor”. Google it if you’re unclear about the meaning.
“Apparently a shitload of ppl are calling us PN Impersonators when we raid (which is pretty fucking lulzy) because they are under the mistaken impression that the recent drama has resulted in something more than momentary disruption of our operations (if even that). That is all.”
Once again, if it’s all about fun and not about your status as internet tough guys, why would you care what they call you? Sticks and stones, codec. :p
“Anywayz, I can’t be trolled and you can’t perform a psychoanalysis on the interwebs even with a doctorate.”
Who needs a doctorate when you’re practically diagnosing yourself with your own comments and actions? And as far as trolling, I’m satisified with the results so far.
“Translation=just bored”
lol wut? Sure, whatever you say, codec. XD
“Also no one has ever heard me claim to be captain of a football team or whatever.”
I wasn’t talking about you specifically. But this is the kind of unverified stuff I’ve heard out of many griefers. Once again, they never offer up any proof of these claims.
“Im just an ordinary guy…”
I’ve also heard this one before and by ordinary guy they mean “not a basement dwelling loser who’s rejected RL for the internet”. And as always, no actual proof to back up their claims. Once again, dorks going after other dorks.
And by the way you’ve been going on about “conquering” the grid and generally beating your chest the last couple of posts, I’m starting to think that you’ve heard the same rumors I have about LL disabling certain scripts in the near future. Unlike me, I think you’re starting to believe those rumors.
*shrugs*
mootykips
Aug 24th, 2007
Grid-crashers are no substitute for effective trolling, codec. The more technology PN developed the farther its skills on person-to-person SL hilarity atrophied. It’s like dropping a smart-bomb vs riding around on a horse cutting off people’s heads with a sword. You don’t get to see the expressions on their faces. High-damage weapons have their uses but anyone can use those.
Whatever
Aug 24th, 2007
Oh look. Another day has gone by, and I still don’t care who this noob assclown is.
d3adlyc0d3c
Aug 24th, 2007
Im not gr.id c.rashing anymore, mooty, everyone agreed that gr.id cr.ashing wasnt as much fun. These new advancements are being used as last resorts, like in old times after an avatar has been b.anned he can activate one, several or all of the S.kynet nodes to c.rash numerous sims, activate p.article or t.exture spammers, ch.atspam or im.spam people among only a few of the funcions that S.kynet has. The other stuff I have been working on are some scripts for sp.oofing shit, self re.plicating ho.ming pen.ises that dont cr.ash sims, and some shit in regards to the SL client, but I wont be releasing any details as to what we are doing exactly with that on this public blog. I’m working on 5 different projects at any given time (mostly from work where I have nothing better todo)
S.im cr.ashing is always fun when its new, but then it gets old for just about everyone. I’m no different.
@Second L.ulz Vigilante
yeah ok, ya got me. I spend all my time jacking off to anime.
Oh and if you could figure out how to use a computer you would know that anyone else intelligent enough to script (which doesnt take much btw) couldnt possibly be incredibly concerned about LL turning off script functionality outright. They cant disable it completely without crippling legitimate scripts. I am positive they have put safeguards in place to monitor for specific strings and to try to detect N.igra Skynet nodes.
“And this sounds exactly like you’re doing it to repair your group’s rep instead of for the fun. Hell even Mudkips has said that the serious business mindset had crept into the PN. I guess he wasn’t fucking around when he said that.”
Well our groups rep will repair itself in time, but I am making posts to expedite that process. I still wouldnt go so far as to call that a SRS BSNS mindset, because that is the extent of any SRS BSNS here.
As for the whole m.ootykips situation, I didn’t like it, and I choose to remain neutral in regards to goings on in that respect. M.ooty was a good leader for a long time, even though he seemed less active he gave me the benefit of the doubt when I joined up. Thanks to him, I was able to sway the opnions of EVERY single person who thought I had not belonged there and as a result things have change drastically for the organization as a whole even without him as our leader.
d3adlyc0d3c
Aug 24th, 2007
@mootykips
I am somewhat disappointed that you would assume that I can only create weapons to crash sims and the grid or whatever. I thought you knew me better than that. Oh and trolling is back in and has been since new rules were created and some old ones abolished. Do you still communicate with anyone in our group anymore?
das_fuhrer
Aug 24th, 2007
we’re in ur second life, wreckin your cybersex, gettin our lulz.
d3.adlyc0d3c
Aug 24th, 2007
Well maldy got all quiet all of a sudden. Notice the people that try to troll us are always people that get p.wnd over and over again, then they get all b.utthurt. Oh and don’t forget:
P.N = S.RS BSNS;
Also (c.ocks?)
Please remember, when your SIMs are crashed, when Philip Linden and N.igger Linden IM you just to tell you how gay you are, and when giant self replicating 9 volt batteries float around and electrocute people all over the place…..it’s nothing personal, you just had a.ids kid. kthx.
Second Lulz Vigilante
Aug 24th, 2007
@d3adlyc0d3c
“Oh and if you could figure out how to use a computer you would know that anyone else intelligent enough to script (which doesnt take much btw) couldnt possibly be incredibly concerned about LL turning off script functionality outright.”
Like I said I didn’t believe the rumors about certain script functions being turned off. I was starting to believe you’d heard them though and were getting worried about them.
“They cant disable it completely without crippling legitimate scripts.”
However they’ve deprecated certain script funtions before…and broken stuff in the process, codec. I’m old enough to remember them doing this. This is LL we’re talking about after all.
“Well our groups rep will repair itself in time, but I am making posts to expedite that process.”
Why the need to “expedite” the process if rep isn’t a factor? Gimme a break, codec.
“I still wouldnt go so far as to call that a SRS BSNS mindset, because that is the extent of any SRS BSNS here.”
Uh huh. People engaged in srs bsns rarely realize that they’re doing so.
“As for the whole m.ootykips situation, I didn’t like it, and I choose to remain neutral in regards to goings on in that respect. M.ooty was a good leader for a long time, even though he seemed less active he gave me the benefit of the doubt when I joined up. Thanks to him, I was able to sway the opnions of EVERY single person who thought I had not belonged there and as a result things have change drastically for the organization as a whole even without him as our leader.”
Well I’m not gonna dispute that part. I have seen him sticking up for you before.
“Oh and trolling is back in and has been since new rules were created and some old ones abolished.”
Well fuck, why even use scripts at all then? Real trolling works like this:
1) Listen to the conversation you’re about to butt in on.
2) Pick apart any stupidity or illogic you find in it.
3) ????
4) PROFIT!!! >:D
It even works in places where rezzing, Push, and other scripts are disabled. Lasts a lot longer too. Moar lulz that way! :p
Veyron Supercharge
Aug 27th, 2007
Who is this woman with the chassis like a fine automobile? Anyone I know?
-Veyron