The Alphaville Herald

The Pregnant Man

by Alphaville Herald on 12/08/08 at 8:07 pm

Abandoned by furry mom, single father overcomes prejudice in metaverse – will deliver baby soon

by Mony Markova

When I first saw him, I thought this had to be a joke. He had a huge belly, which to me seemed just like a regular beer belly, except a little lower. As I was preparing to leave, it became evident that this was not fiction at all but complete truth. The guy was pregnant with a real primmy baby!

What follows is my interview with the first pregnant man. I found him after lots of research – sometimes it was difficult, but I keep following his trail. The pregnant man responds to the name of IggyPop Sirup and has no need to hide his identity because he says he is proud of it and that he is keeping the baby.

Markova: So Iggy, this is truly amazing and that is one huge belly!
IggyPop: Well Mony, it’s a Baby and as hard as this has been, it’s amazing and a true miracle that this can happen. I don’t think a person has ever gone through so much to bring avatarian life to the metaverse.

Markova: Wow Iggy I bet you have gone through a lot. So please share with us.
IggyPop: I mean women make so much fuss about having babies, but they have no idea what this is for a man. I tell you, it’s difficult. For example, I been kicked out of Baby Stores and it is wrong to kick pregnant people out of stores. It is very mean and impolite. They say, “Are you trying to mock us,” “You think you are smarter?” and stuff like that. I just want to buy the things I need and get ready when the baby comes. Nowadays, I tell them I have a pillow under my jacket just to support my wife, and then they say “Aaaaaaw what a nice man.” I even get discounts at stores and free things. But you know what, Mony? I wish they would say “aaaaw” when I tell them it’s me that is pregnant, and that it’s ok and fine. Now I only go to stores when they are empty and no-one is around. It would be nice to surround my baby with good karma but instead, I get all this bad rap. And man, I tell you; the thing I don’t like is the crying… this is one thing I don’t stand… bad hormones.

Markova: I have so many questions to ask you. Have you been visited by doctors; do you go to a clinic?
IggyPop: Yes. Well, this is SL you know? You don’t get pregnant by contact or just making a fat belly avatar! There are many clinics that give you a HUD, special attachments, nice scripts…

At that precise moment, a script said… “Mom I feel hungry… please feed the baby…”

IggyPop continued, “Did you hear, Mony? You get scripts that say funny and very original things like that one. But here’s an example of how hard and unprepared the metaverse is for male pregnancy. Consider this; I have to use this female pregnant “mom” script because no-one thought a man might want a baby. Now they are currently changing the scripts so it says “daddy” instead of “mom” you see? So like I was saying, in a clinic you get regular visits, they teach you, and if you are lucky enough to have a wife, you can go together for breathing exercises. They teach you how the baby is growing, have a nurse, food, and all sorts of advice. Very nice people. It’s a whole new perspective for me.”

Markova: Did you have difficulty finding a clinic that would grant your wish?
IggyPop: Oh yes, Mony. Ha ha ha, talk about being banned and muted! Some folks are just too aggressive!

Markova: Now your clinic seems very supportive. Can you tell us which clinic it is?
IggyPop: Oh no, sorry! They said that if I did that, they would not let me come back and that they would find a way to kill me and the baby.

Markova: Why did you not just make a female avatar?
IggyPop: It’s not about that Mony. That is sick!

Markova: Have any other real doctors tried to contact you?
IggyPop: Well, some nice chaps from Health Information Island promised to send a real doctor, but I only have been approached by Mental Health Island and some other people who just did not have an idea of this.

Markova: How did this thing start? Are you gay?
IggyPop: No offense, Mony, but that just shows the level of ignorance prevailing in the metaverse. Why would you think I was gay for wanting to have a baby? Men can be as good a mother as women are! In fact, better than many! No offense to gays, but they don’t seem to be in it for babies! In fact, they cannot get pregnant and that is of their own choosing – which I think is terrible.

Markova: Whoa! I just want to ask you things folks might want to know. Are you a single father?
IggyPop: Me and my girlfriend – you see I am not gay – had the illusion of having a baby. What could be a bigger statement of love than declaring a commitment to a newborn? But she kept failing the appointments. I wish I knew where she is now! One day, we had an appointment, and she did not show up. That is when I got the idea to go it alone and thought, why not?

At that moment the script said: “Mommy, remember to rest well and make sure you drink plenty of fluids to have a healthy baby.”

Markova: Sorry, you said your girlfriend left you?
IggyPop: Yes, she left me for a band of bikers out of the mainland. She said that she had a highway to ride. But I have found a great support network of people who are still very very influential in the metaverse. One of them is a great man, a visionary, who formerly held an important position at a company I cannot name, but we all know it, and he now has more free time since he was handed a new position. Well, this very influential person is supporting me and has even promised I will get the best scripts and a secret place to deliver the baby. I just have to name the baby after his RL surname. Ain’t that cool? Philip, you rock man! We will have those beers soon, buddy!

Markova: Philip?
IggyPop: Yes Mony. There are tons of Philips in the world, so don’t get ideas. I need to make sure everyone knows that I did not know Philip until I was already pregnant, and that he is NOT, let me underscore NOT, the father of this creature. This baby has a mother who will come to her senses and most surely come back to us. Honey, wherever you are, I love you and I am not mad at you!

Markova: Iggy, you will pass into history as the first man to be pregnant. How does that make you feel?
IggyPop: I get asked that one every now and then. My real life mother asked me that and she actually gets very happy when I show her what I do on the screen and what this world is all about. I show her that this is not a weirdo sex place and that I am actually pregnant! She kisses me on the forehead and brings me my cocoa. I just know she is happy! This adventure has changed my life forever. I see the world differently, respect women more and, of course, have become a better person.

I never thought of the history thing. I wonder if in a dark cave in history of mankind a man ever got pregnant. Of course, we know he must not have survived or something, or else we would have records of such an amazing event. We could see men and women carrying babies! I bet there would be fewer wars and that is good! That is just a good thought.

Markova: Your girlfriend is a furry. Does this add to – and let me say this kindly – the strangeness of all this.
IggyPop: No. Actually she is not a furry; she is a Wookette, or in other words, a female Chewbacca. But the sex is fantastic! I miss you baby!

Markova: What are your plans for the future? When is the baby coming?
IggyPop: Right now I don’t think much of the future. I just want to continue this process. It’s not something you can rush but man, I feel like a whale! Nothing looks good. I thought of using my Scottish kilts but I can only do that at home or I get a lot of weirdo reactions. The baby delivery date has been kept secret and I will have it in a secret place in a sim near Ambleside. I hang out a lot there and have some nice neighbors.

Markova: Iggy, I truly don’t know how this all works so please tell us. Is the baby a real person? Or is it an ALT of you or another person? Or just a scripted toy?

Followed after a rather long silence came what was to be IggyPop’s last answer of the day.

IggyPop: – Mmh, now, that would be interesting! I could make it an ALT of me since I really had so much trouble finding people that think like me, and I bet no-one wants to be the baby and be home and with me all the time. I plan to have it here close, but I could make a smallish ALT of me and go playing in the kiddies sims. Or…? This will get read by many people, yes? If some of your readers want to, please write to me and maybe one ideal person could be the baby! I have not decided the sex of the baby yet, so if anyone is interested, we can discuss this. Modern times you see, Mony. You can even choose the sex of the baby!

Markova: Can I ask you how are you going to deliver the baby? Is it going to be surgery?
IggyPop: Oh my gosh Mony! What you just said is horrible and very insensitive. I am ending the interview now. Please go.

And so we ended the interview prematurely. I have been trying to reach him to see how he is doing and maybe to send flowers or something. But he is not taking my IMs anymore.