The Alphaville Herald

Introducing Pat the Rat

by Alphaville Herald on 19/11/03 at 9:36 pm

Pat the Rat: Gossip Columnist for the Alphaville Herald

With this post the Alphaville Herald Introduces our new contributor and dirt-disher, Pat the Rat. Deep under cover in Alpha, Pat dishes on the virtual sins of our fair city’s virtual simlebrities. This week, Pat rats out Fueled Radio.

Item: Fueled Radio DJ and badboy Itzno was reportedly caught with his pants down this week. Itzno is said to have been spotted at the Black Rose Castle in bed doing a scene with another male avatar. Now Pat the Rat likes a good scene as well as the next sim, but if my sources are accurate this *will* come as a shocker to many woman who make up his stable of groupies. Probably a bigger shocker to his One True Love who doesn’t even know about all his vanilla cyberpals. But I don’t mean to be judgmental. Itzno can be my dirty little spit boy any day of the week.

Item: Can’t name names on this one because it gets into real world territory, but one of Alpha’s favorite hospitality girls with connections to Fueled is allegedly going to be accepting room keys at the International SimCon. Sources say that she requires them to be wrapped in hundred dollar bills. Pat will not conjecture on the purpose of this charming practice. Nor does Pat disapprove! In fact, I’m stealing the idea for myself. Let it hereby be known that Pat will be accepting Benjamins wrapped around swizzle sticks at ISC! That buys you a hug from me in game. If you want more you can buy me a Bentley.

Item: The Vineyard Garden group is widely reported to be engaged in some form of cultlike activities. Nothing odd about that in Alpha. Our own publisher and my boss Urizenus was, after all, the High Priest of a virtual satanic church until he recently climbed back into the closet and went “legit” (and, gnawing on the hand that feeds me, who does he think he is fooling?). But rumor has it that one of the key figures in this virtual cult is Teddie Bearra, another frisky fueled radio DJ. Lordy be, those fueled DJs are gonna keep me in business for years.

Uri won’t trust me with the keys to his blog, so he’s posting for me. You can reach me at pat@alphavilleherald.com.

’til next time friends, XOXOXO — Pat the Rat.