Diary of a Newbie #4: meeting Evangeline

by Alphaville Herald on 17/03/04 at 5:33 pm

By Montserrat Tovar

at first i was not sure what i had walked into: i am a newbie walking around, exploring, working hard not to get bored out of my mind. i had not yet visited any newbie places so I dropped into the welcome category. i found a triple x house for newbies, and it was ranked number 1, so i went in. i wanted to see what happens to newbies, wanted to see what is waiting for them. this is how i met eve [Evangeline's new avatar ?uri].

eve, on the surface, is a lovely sim. dark haired, poised, she presides over her world with a firm hand. eve is a film director and her house is all about making movies. at the center of this world is a blue room. eve conducts auditions for her films in this room and once a sim enters this room there is no way out. there is a bathtub in the room, a reclining chair, lights, a toilet, and a wardrobe closet. sims entering the blue room in most cases seem to enter without fully understanding what they?ve signed up for ? scamming, sexual humiliation, verbal and psychological abuse, and simulated physical abuse.

i saw a sim named holly enter the blue room thinking that she was about to make a lot of money as an actress for eve. she entered the blue room and changed into the gold bikini outfit [which will display her as naked to those wearing the Kingsware Software Patch --uri]. all the female sims in the blue room are required to wear the gold bikini outfit sooner or later. eve likes it. then eve told holly to do certain things: ?show me your p?; ?take a bath?. the male sims were told to urinate and ?show me your d?. some of them were asked questions like ?how long is your d??. one sim was engaged in hot kissing. it was apparently not voluntary because the sim kept asking if she had done enough to get her money. she had been promised 100,000 simoleans. after a few rounds of this, which were accompanied by threats of various sorts, the sim rebelled and became more insistent about getting her money. the exchange became heated and the sim got slapped around. during this exchange several sims entered the blue room, fought hard to get out and finally gave up and disappeared.

later on, i was curious and asked if i could talk to eve, so uri kindly set up the interview.
this is the text of that interview.

montserrat: hi. how are you?

eve: fine.

montserrat: i went to the house with the blue room today. how does that work, please?

eve: the blue room is our audition room. just like in any movie studio there is a blue screening room and then the green room once you pass auditions. the studio rooms are active other times more than others. today my house went through some remodeling so are auditions were not on for long.

montserrat: let me tell you what i saw today: a sim came in and said she would audition for money. she went into the blue room, did as she was asked and then the appearance was that she was not paid. is that what happened?

eve: obviously she broke rules. do you think you will get paid when you don’t follow rules? i am a director. she wasn’t following directions and my producers fired her. when someone’s is fired they are booted and banned.

montserrat: explain to me what you mean by rules.

eve: don’t come to my lot without reading the signs. yes we really give out money but if you will treat my home like shit and ignore all the signs and ask a bunch of questions when they can easily be answered by reading you will be warned. you know i don’t play that shit..im off the chain with it and now i’m back makin’ hits again, eve and my tricks again got you hatin’ scams sick again. Don’t be shy ask me the things you want to know.

montserrat: ok thanks, i appreciate that. how did you develop your home?

eve: i always keep my ideas fresh and clean. its alla bout the glamorous life in my house. the furniture is expensive everything’s elegant with the plush royal blue carpets and expensive antiques. no more dead creatures. my home’s in a enchanted glade. i learned to paint with all the colors of the wind.

montserrat: what do you hope to accomplish? what are you goals for your home?

eve: many people think i have many sims or am in other cities. i can’t help people wanting to act like me but i can say that i care more about laughing and having fun–escaping for a few hours–than the silly visitor hours or money. i am smiling because i have all my original roomies back as a family again.

montserrat: that must mean a lot to you, to have everyone together.

eve: yes it does. i remember my xmas party. my younger sis playing with the train set. i sitting by the fire it’s just nice and comforting?i was gone for a while while these wannabe eva’s out here claim they’re bad, well guess what i’m still the baddest. i am always doing something fresh…you have to entertain yourself in this game and create your own fun. sometimes i get tired of the people who i dont even know coming to my lot and just tagging me with no explanation…its just laughable.

montserrat: can you tell me about your family, about how you get along together?

eve: yes. we all laugh together at the people who come to our lot.

montserrat: i notice you said that you were a director. do you use the sims who come to your place as a design element? are they part of your art?

eve: no they audition for my movies. we just had big audition for “cheerleaders club” and “i know who you did last summer”

montserrat: how many sims came to the audition? when do you plan to release the film?

eve: many sims come all day.. and others watch. some get scared and run out the door. if u cant stand in front of the camera you will get banned.

montserrat: what is it you think scares them?

eve: the films are live ..many people get to see them. they don’t like the bright lights.

montserrat: are the films part of your artistic work?

eve: my place is elevated xrated butt naked. see i try to help these new sims especially. they don’t know how to play the game.

montserrat: what do you help them to learn?

eve: see i got game for those young ho’s don’t grow to be a dumb ho that’s a no no see if you off the chain stay ahead of the game save up by a house..see if i had the chance to do it all again i would be rich by day 10. see i’m a veteran no one stays wetter than ms eva.. i got to teach the young girls a lesson. and boys. i explain to them the rules of the game you know.

montserrat: how would you describe those rules?

eve: dont get broke off for free

montserrat: i guess i didn’t understand that.

eve: do u know what makes me sick? these ridiculous governments and groups

montserrat: what?

eve: they have no power. avg is like ssg and all these bs mafias. do u believe president can do anything? do u know what the answer was when i asked some 2 dollar hooker at the “capitol”?

montserrat: no. what did they say?

eve: and when i say president i mean “mr-president”. they go “he can tell lots to ban certain people”. anyone could just get another sim and go there you know

montserrat: could you say more about mr-president and the mafias? what do you think of the elections?

eve: the mafias are so silly..i laugh so hard they go “i own you” its so silly. the elections are even more stupid

montserrat: why are they stupid?

eve: when you’re president what can you do?

montserrat: i don’t know. tell me.

eve: i sit on 20′s hot girl x and o’s newbies caress my toes i didn’t chose this game the game chose me..all my roomies drink cris. the mr- president’s a rabbithair ho, im a mink bitch.

montserrat: i noticed when i came to your place that the music was quite unusual. you seem to have a very highly developed artistic sense.

eve: yes my home is elegant and when you come in it its not some trashy shit place. all my things are the best. i make sure everything’s even and in detail. i do have an upcoming site www.geocities.com/newbiestudios it has lots of info and pics coming soon.

montserrat: that sounds really interesting. do you also make paintings? i notice that you mentioned painting earlier in our conversation

eve: it was an expression meaning at my home things are now vivid and alive. we have one of the oldest trees located in av in our courtyard — grandmother willow

montserrat: is there anything that you’d like people to know that you haven’t said already? do you have any parting thoughts?

eve: yes i do. if u have a rare pussie we want to pet and see it, stop by and see us! we love pets! and we really do pay!

montserrat: thank you for the invitation. it is kind of you.

eve: no problem. I’m sure you have a cute pussie cat. take care.

montserrat: you too. thanks.

10 Responses to “Diary of a Newbie #4: meeting Evangeline”

  1. Valentino

    Mar 18th, 2004

    Well, it would be sad if it weren’t so funny. Evangeline cracks me up.

  2. Mrs President Bradley

    Mar 19th, 2004

    No comment…

  3. Ian

    Mar 20th, 2004

    Honestly I don’t like these Diary of a Newbie things, we all know what it was like, because we were all one at a time. And we know that now a days its shitty to be a newbie, because your treated like shit, and scammed.

  4. urizenus

    Mar 20th, 2004

    Ian, we all know what it’s like to be a Newbie, but no one is recording what its like. MT is writing this more for readers that don’t play the game and, also, for future readers that live in a post-tso world. She’s also writing for people like me who like to relive the nightmare of being a tso newbie.

  5. Mr-President

    Mar 21st, 2004

    “..the mr-president’s a rabbithair ho, im a mink bitch.”

    Okay? lol.

  6. Carnella

    Apr 14th, 2004

    I am in need of a nude patch. I am always nice to newbies. I just didnt like the skilling.

  7. Carnella

    Apr 14th, 2004

    I am in need of a nude patch. I am always nice to newbies. I just didnt like the skilling.

  8. me

    Apr 17th, 2004

    Raphael (AKA Evangeline)…u are obsessed with Pocahontas, arent u?

  9. CJ Star

    Apr 24th, 2004


  10. CJ Star

    Apr 24th, 2004


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