The Alphaville Herald

Special: Granny Celestie meets Grimmy Moonflower

by Alphaville Herald on 03/08/04 at 9:51 am

What sort of newspaper would yield its front page to two notorious griefers? Why the Second Life Herald of course! In this ill-advised article, notorious tso grieferGranny Celestie takes the reporter?s notebook and interviews notorious (and banned) Second Life grieferGrimmy Moonflower. The results are electric! Well, actually, they are what they are?

Celestie: Ms. Moonflower, you’re possibly the most notorious griefer in the virtual world. You’ve become the image of all that is “evil” or “wrong” in virtual reality. Do you think it’s a relief for people to match a face with all the griefing going on, in hopes that once you are eliminated the problems will stop?

Moonflower: It’s interesting that you should mention the word “face,” Jerry. As you may or may not be aware Moonflower’s face was of the brown variety. It seems that’s the face of evil in Second Life. The brown man.

Celestie: I’ve visited your site, and I was greeted by an image of what appeared to be a woman wearing a hat and she was entirely black with the exception of her white eyes. Does she serve as an idol too?

Moonflower: Oh. They seemed to strongly dislike my afro centric features whether in a male or female incarnation. Even when I politely hid them under the hood of a Klansman! Go figure. They’re sensitive like that. ? An idol?

Celestie: So when you say “brown man” you meant African American?

Moonflower: Yeah. But I guess that expression applies more to the Mexican folk. I was considering becoming a Mexican in SL, but with the way I was judged for being an African I figured they’d accuse me of stealing every missing prim should I reappear as Hernandez Moonflower.

Celestie: Meaning they would assume it was you?

Moonflower: Right-o!

Celestie: Pardon me if I?m dwelling on this too much, but tell me more about this ghostly image that is entirely black?

Moonflower: Oh! That’s the original Grimmy Moonflower! A salute to such satirical and yet provocative figures as Nigger Jim and J.J. from Good Times. These are strong black men that raised the ire of conservative white people while becoming folk-heroes to actual African-Americans. They dig out the racism in the white community like a common spade. A gardening tool, mind you.

Celestie: So the black symbolized the race of African Americans?

Moonflower: Yes! Absolutely. And not the charcoal-like evil of my ice cold heart.

Celestie: Are you sure?

Moonflower: After all the finger-pointing and demonizing … sometimes I.. … even wonder. You’re going to have to pardon me, Oprah. I’m getting a little emotional.

Celestie: Oh it’s ok, you cry all you want. Griefers have feelings too

Moonflower: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HY!?! WHY DO THEY HATE ME … !?!

Moonflower: Okay. I’m better now.

Celestie:
Celestie: Do you like to play off of stereotypes?

Moonflower: Absolutely! Sadly stereotypes such as the buffoonish Sgt. Schultz from Hogan’s Heroes and the metro sexual live-in guy accused of being gay (Jack Tripper of Three’s Company) are all considered blatantly offensive in an over-sensitive on-line world. I should’ve gone with my gut feeling and joined the Bothan Spy Network on Star Wars Galaxies. I could’ve lived my days out as a Rodian bounty hunter. But someone would have accused me of having offensively crooked antennae.

Celestie: Do you think people secretly enjoy the fact that this mysterious griefer is challenging them to cope with their own prejudice and judgments? Sort of making them face their demons…

Moonflower: Definitely, Geraldo. People love a bad guy. Did you see the way the message boards lit up during those incidents? Each thread became a celebratory parade full of whimsical words and brightly colored expressions! Cinco de Mayo! The same thing happened when Something Awful’s forum goons descended upon Pleasantville (Second Life.)

Moonflower: The best part was a series of burping and farting noise antics combined with a few lame attempts at sending a rocket up a Linden’s tailpipe actually caused some pretentiously-prone poetic types to ask me if it all had a deep universal meaning!

Celestie: Sort of like 9/11 made us all think and evolve.

Moonflower: Right. Definitely like 9/11.

Moonflower: My farting noise-clicks were the screaming 757s of Muslim rage.

Celestie: Well, it’s been a pleasure talking with you!

Moonflower: Same here. You have a very nice day!

Celestie: I can’t wait for part two

Moonflower: I’ll drink some coffee next time. I take it black. Like my soul.

Celestie: Don’t we all