by Alphaville Herald on 23/08/04 at 12:22 am

Tensions on the Jessie/Stanford border exploded into the first battle of what will doubtless be a protracted and technologically advanced virtual war, as mega-mall developer, land baron, and gang leader One Song entered Jessie amid a hailstorm of gunfire and tracking turret fire from the techsols and WWIIOLers. Clearly sporting fancy scripts that rendered him invulnerable to the gunfire, One Song hurled abuse at Jessie residents and then returned to Stanford to exchange fire and lag-inducing scripts from across the border. Lag from all the activity became so bad I thought the sim might crash. Following is a photo-essay of the days events, which seemed to include everything but a fully armed flying mechanical moose. Oh it had that too? Nevermind.


Mega-Mall developer One Song enters and hurls invectives at the Jessie Residents. “Our Bullets aren’t killing him”, one resident was heard to say, as even turret fire bounced off of the levitating land baron.

The Brains behind One Song? Klintel Kiestler is rumored to be the mall developer’s shit hot script writer.

Klintel takes fire from Jessie on the site of the new mega-mall. The new Jessie wall looms in the background.

A LUV message from One Song to the WWIIOLers in Jessie.

Chaunsey Crash and his men at their HQ in Jessie during the battle.

Bravo Team member Madison enters a building to take up a firing position.

Father Callahan attempts to shield Pancake Striker from the filthy invectives of One Song. Pan responds with a hearty “One, STFU” — we hope Father Callahan was not shocked by this. Actually, what’s happening here is that Pancake was off the handle, shooting me, the good father, Mimi, Kimmerz, etc. during the battle. Why? Who really knows. Father Callahan is getting fed up at this point. As was I.

Pancake and the admiral man the barricades while the flying mechanical moose stands point in the distance. Jessie residents need to invest in fancier barricades. Pancake needs to invest in a treadmill. (Sad, she really let herself go…)

6 Responses to “WAR!”

  1. Pie

    Aug 23rd, 2004

    Disgusting enough that men must make war IRL, acting like little boys with thier little toys trying to compensating for thier unusally small penises and taking retribution on the world for thier mommies not loving them enough, that to see this sort of activity take place in SL begs the question… Why must men turn everything into War?

  2. Urizenus

    Aug 24th, 2004

    Pie, Pie, Pie. It’s all about the testosterone. Now explaining pancake is a lil’ different. or is it…? Hmmm…

  3. Ian

    Aug 24th, 2004

    So according to her theory, my small hon solo pistol, should fit me!

  4. Diamonique

    Aug 24th, 2004

    OMG Pie…THANK YOU…you said exactly what I was thinking. People get a grip on reality here for a moment okay…IT’S JUST A DAMN GAME….Not Iraq. It’s kind of hard to believe that grown ass men have to play these childish games. I swear…the level of immaturity in in some people is about the same as my 2 yr old. Get a life…get some meds…get some help for crying out loud. Just get something to help you out. Lord knows you need it.

  5. Boots

    Sep 1st, 2004

    And fat slob women eating cheesecake and watching oprah are somehow better.

  6. Boots

    Sep 1st, 2004

    And fat slob women eating cheesecake and watching oprah are somehow better.

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