Uri’s secret cyber logs, part 3: Bloodninja enters Second Life
by Alphaville Herald on 14/09/04 at 4:15 pm
The legendary chronicler of cyber, Bloodninja, has left his chat rooms to experience the fully immersive love fest that is Second Life. Following is his first SL chat log to be released on the internet. Who *is* this guy, anyway? HAAAARRRRR!
Blood Ninja: Thanks for dropping by.
Voluptuous LaFolette: Interesting place…
Blood Ninja: Thanks, I made everything myself. Did my own scripting work too.
Voluptuous LaFollette: OMG is that bed made out of…?
Blood Ninja: Yes Rhinoceros penises…100 prims, each textured in a manner faithful to the penis of the African White Rhino.
Voluptuous LaFollette: Lovely, listen, I should be…
Blood Ninja: Check out this animation, click the pink ball
Voluptuous LaFollette: Why do I know I’m going to regret this
Voluptuous LaFollette: O M G
Blood Ninja: I call this one “Power Fisting”
Voluptuous LaFollette: you are fisting me with your head, that isn’t fisting.
Blood Ninja: *gasp* sorry, didn’t hear you.
Voluptuous LaFollette: what is my avi doing?
Blood Ninja: Braying like a mule in heat
Voluptuous LaFollette: OK, I’m out…
Blood Ninja: Wait! I’ll pay!
Voluptuous LaFollette: …
Voluptuous LaFollette: How much?
Blood Ninja: 100 Lindens.
Voluptuous LaFollette: Bye.
Blood Ninja: 500!
Voluptuous LaFollette: yawn…
Blood Ninja: 1000
Voluptuous LaFollette: Ok, but I can only stay 15 minutes
Blood Ninja: NP
You have paid Voluptuous LaFolette 1000 Lindens
Voluptuous LaFollette: and no more power fisting
Blood Ninja: ok hit me with this
Voluptuous LaFollette has accepted your inventory offer.
Voluptuous LaFollette: What are you doing?
Blood Ninja: my new animation. I call this animation “carnie hell”. I’m impaled on a corn dog, tied to a post by bonds of licorice whips and gagged with cotton candy…Hit me hit me with that crop I gave you…
*whack*
Voluptuous LaFollette: OMG, what s that yellow stuff?
Blood Ninja: mustard.
*whack*
Blood Ninja: ketchup
Voluptuous LaFollette: …
Blood Ninja: oh baby make me your lunch. Release your inner cannibal.
Voluptuous LaFollette: OK, look I’m not sure I’m up for this…
Blood Ninja: ok. Ok. Wait!
You have paid Voluptuous LaFolette 1000 Lindens
*whack*
*whack*
Blood Ninja: One more whack and you get a bun
*whack*
Voluptuous LaFollette: hmmm I begin caressing your freshly baked bun…
Blood Ninja: whack me again and there will be poppy seeds on the bun
*whack*
Voluptuous LaFollette: I begin nibbling at the edge of you freshly baked seeded bun…
Blood Ninja: Oh baby gobble me up…
Voluptuous LaFollette: I take a bite of your flesh. Chomp!
Blood Ninja: Hey what the fuck! What are you some kind of pervert?
Voluptuous LaFollette: …?
Voluptuous LaFollette: I thought this is what you wanted
Blood Ninja: Fuck no, you were supposed to nibble away the bun and lick off the mustard and ketchup and nibble away my bonds of licorice and cotton candy… This is about liberation, not cannibalization, you totalizing self-centered perverted bitch.
Voluptuous LaFollette: That’s it, I’m out.
Blood Ninja: fine, first give me back my money.
Voluptuous LaFollette: No way, sicko. You got more than your money’s worth.
Blood Ninja: Pay me back or I have the Linden’s ban your ass.
Voluptuous LaFollette: Hahaha, that’s a good one.
Blood Ninja: You think I’m joking?
Voluptuous LaFollette: I think you’re a sick fuck.
Jeff Linden: OK, what seems to be the problem here.
Blood Ninja: About time you got here Jeff, This bitch owes me 2K Lindens.
Jeff Linden: Why?
Blood Ninja: Services unrendered.
Jeff Linden: Look, I’m very busy…
Voluptuous LaFollette: I’m so sorry about this Jeff…
Blood Ninja: No I’m serious, I paid her 2K to do a scene in which she liberates me from the false promise of refined carbohydrate baked goods consumerism. Instead she decided to unleash her repressed daddy complex in the form of a cannibalistic attack on my virtual person.
Jeff Linden: Hmmm
Blood Ninja: that’s harassment. And its breach of contract.
Voluptuous LaFollette: You are sick.
Jeff Linden: Well listen Blood, just reviewing the chat log, it seems you said this to her “Blood Ninja: oh baby make me your lunch. Release your inner cannibal.”
Voluptuous LaFollette: Hah! Suck on that one, fucktard!
Blood Ninja: Oh that’s just great Jeff, way to be impartial.
Jeff Linden: I’m just reading the chat logs.
Blood Ninja: You made that shit up. Admit it!
Jeff Linden: OK, I don’t have time for this, I’m out..
Voluptuous LaFollette: Me too…
Blood Ninja: Wait, don’t go Jeff! You can scene with us!
Blood Ninja: You can be… you can be the potato salad..
Blood Ninja: Ok, you and Voluptuous can share me…
Blood Ninja: Hello…?
Blood Ninja: Bitch! Come back with my condiments crop!
Father Callahan
Sep 14th, 2004
Now that is jut too fucking funny, classic Jeff Linden with “hmm”
Death Grace
Sep 14th, 2004
ok let me get this straight this guy is ripped off and lindens arent responsible for transactions. and jeff shwos up when i have a serious problem a lidnen wont help me.
urizenus
Sep 14th, 2004
um death, I think perhaps the chatlog isn’t real.
Death Grace
Sep 14th, 2004
DONT START WITH ME *gets off his soap box*
ShawnRyanII
Sep 14th, 2004
Ok um, don’t get me wrong, the last 2 parts of this were HILARIOUS!! but this one….is just stupid and not a funny kind of stupid like the other ones…….i think this dude is starting to lose his ”touch”! Hopefully Part 4 is ALOT better, i think he should go back to the chat rooms!
urizenus
Sep 15th, 2004
rotfl
Father Callahan
Sep 15th, 2004
When perv’s go crazy.
Dr Leviathan
Sep 15th, 2004
While somewhat amusing this chatlog appears to be faked. There just aren’t enough capitalization or spelling errors, and we all know that three person SL chat logs don’t happen in such readable form.
Does the SLH consider itself a true news source? Or just a blog for nonsense, editorial ax grinding, and pulp pseudo-news?
An avid reader wants to know.
urizenus
Sep 15th, 2004
“this chatlog appears to be faked”
???
Have u been eating paint chips or something?
Dr Leviathan
Sep 16th, 2004
Mmmm… paint chips. Lead flavor is best.
Second Life Herald for dessert… I’ll go crazy any day now.
Sam
Sep 24th, 2004
wtf is this bs? get a day job pal
Kimmers
Sep 25th, 2004
HARRRRRRRRRRR
Charmy
Oct 3rd, 2004
HAHAHA This was great, I loved your other chat logs better, but this made me laugh =).
Aight I put on my robe and wizard hat.
britneyspears14
Oct 4th, 2004
i told u to never email me again u sick ******* pervert! lmfao! haha
britneyspears14
Oct 4th, 2004
i told u to never email me again u sick ******* pervert! lmfao! haha
James
Nov 11th, 2007
This is not BloodNinja. This is a shabby attempt to copy him.