Dear Avi 2

by Alphaville Herald on 23/01/05 at 10:37 am

Due to popular demand and the multitude of questions coming in, Dear Abby has returned! She has decided to change her name to Avigail VanHelsing in order to appeal more to the avatars in SecondLife. Here is week number two for all you “Dear Avi” fans…

Dear Avi,

Ever since I saw Bambi as a little boy I have had a thing for deer. I love deer, and I love the idea of deer-humping: Deer humping me, me humping deer, and deer humping deer. Now in second life I have taken to wearing silly hats and building statues of deer humping deer. Is there something wrong with me?

Sign me, Dearly Loves Deer

Dear Dearly Loves Deer,

Find yourself a good porn mag and a big bottle of lotion dude, seriously try taking a look at humans and not animals that could be the step in the right direction for you. Plus those deer can carry Lyme Disease, so be careful if you do decide to not take my advice, which wouldn’t be a wise course of action.

Dear Avi,

I’m madly in love and obssessed with a Linden! I can’t help myself I log onto SL and immediately look to see if he is online. If he is I try my best to find him in game, sometimes I even send him fake problems just so I can get his hot and sexy avatar over to my pad. I dream of having him take me as his woman in game and exercise his “linden power” on me. Abby what can I do, I just got to have him!

Sincerely,
Linden Lover

Dear Linden Lover,

Get some serious help please, I hope you don’t harrass this poor guy in game. He has a job to do here, he can’t be playing your sugardaddy. Try getting out more in SL and meeting the “regulars” and stay away from the Lindens to let them do their job in peace without some crazed power obsessed chick like yourself.

If you would like to submit a Dear Avi please email them to dearabbyvanhelsing@yahoo.com.