Game Developer Rants burn houses, babies and bridges

by Alphaville Herald on 19/03/05 at 10:05 am

If you hadn’t caught them earlier, Cory Ondrejka’s (aka Cory Linden’s) Terra Nova forum threads about the now-infamous Game Developers Rants, were Slashdotted yesterday. The main two Terra Nova threads are called ‘Burning Down the House’ and ‘Burn baby burn’. Some of the things that games developers came out with were beauties like these:

“Iwata-san [President of Nintendo] has the heart of a gamer, and my question is what poor bastard’s chest did he carve it from?”

“Games grow through innovations. Creations of new game styles that spawn imitators and whole new markets. The story of the past few decades is not about graphics and processing power, but startling innovation and industry. That’s why we love games. BUT IT’S OVER NOW!”

“First of all I don’t hate you, Will Wright. I just had one of those ‘I’m not worthy’ moments in the elevator.”

“How often DO they perform human sacrifices at Nintendo?? My friends, we are FUCKED. We are well and truly fucked.”

“I’m going to rant about How Sony And Microsoft Are About To Screw Your Game Design”

Our Cory responds to some of the Chicken-Little Apocalypse Now scenarios with a nod to Small Studios and Do-It-Yourselfers and also provides a sensible ‘Six Ways To Make Games Without EA’. Second Life is well-represented and the example for Way Number Six is ‘Tringo’ – which some SL residents, however, would point to as a sign that the apocalypse is coming.

If it is, maybe we can fool around with some games while we’re waiting? Cory argues, “…if you want to make games, MAKE GAMES! There has never been an easier time to make games. The answer is not to bitch about EA not wanting to hand you millions of dollars…”

Or is it? The debate rages on. Why not break out your Anonymous Coward avatars, your flame-throwers and your fire-extinguishers and jump into the burning rings?

Or maybe you’d prefer to never-mind-the-bollocks and actually answer Cory’s challenge? Linden Labs recently announced the Second Life 2005 Game Developer’s Competition. Maybe everyone will be talking about your crazy-ass GDC rant in a few months.

If those aren’t your style there’s some other interesting ideas in the original GDC rants to have a wank about. Brenda Laurel skirts the wang-toting machinations of the boys and tackles ‘social myths’ in gaming – invoking Guy Debord’s ‘Society of the Spectacle’. I found this little tidbit fascinating (though doubtful):

“GTA. I talked to 22 little boys in LA, all of them wanted to see that game. With only one exception, the thing that they wanted to see was to be able to drive by their house. They weren’t interested in stealing cars. Or the criminals. Or the back-story. They weren’t interested in that, they wanted the simulation of driving by the house.”

Someone should send those boys some SL invites. Here they could simulating living in their house. They can simulate eating a goddamn bowl of corn-flakes for breakfast if they want to. But they shouldn’t be listing their copies of GTA on Ebay just yet. SL might have housing well-covered but people here still just laugh in my face when I try to carjack them. Feature-request for 1.7: Brass knuckles force object-transfers.

Let’s make it happen!

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