Jugband Strikes Back After Wedding Bombing

by Alphaville Herald on 30/06/05 at 10:41 pm

by Matthias Zander

With the Herald not forgetting about the mafia culture in SecondLife, we also decided to do something that we very rarely do – get the OTHER side of the story! The events recently reported by our own Gina Fatale carried consequences beyond what was immediately forseeable, but what exactly does that mean? The answer: there’s a new mafia..err..maphia on the loose in SecondLife.

You: Thanks for speaking with the Herald, guys. I hear your wedding got bombed the other night?
Artemis Cain: Yeah, it was da bomb
Creamy Caligari: lol
Artemis Cain: but these mafia guys came over and bomed it
You: Why was it bombed?
Artemis Cain: that is a good question, Matt
You: So you don’t know why?
Artemis Cain: I think it was a cry for attention
Creamy Caligari: justyn hates art
Artemis Cain: oh yeah, that too
You: Who were the so-called “bombers”?
Creamy Caligari: well justyn was the master mind behind it and he sent Tony Caligari and Diablo Cinquetiti and some willy guy over
You: So what have you guys done about it?
Artemis Cain: I wet myself from laughing so hard
Queenie Extraordinaire: well we figured we better start our own maphia, ya know?
Creamy Caligari: yeah
You: Your own “Maphia”?
Queenie Extraordinaire: yeah….the Jugband Maphia
Artemis Cain: what are you, an English teacher
Artemis Cain: ?
Artemis Cain: she said maphia
Queenie Extraordinaire: yeah was gonna say is this a friggin interview or a spelling class?
Artemis Cain: we wont get any respect if we go around using proper spelling and grammar
Creamy Caligari: yeah well we arent like the Cinquetiti family.. we dont know the f word
You: Heh. Sorry. So the Jugband Maphia…who’s your boss?
Queenie Extraordinaire: our boss? Emett Otter
Queenie Extraordinaire: he don;t talk to noone though
Artemis Cain: the little guy sitting quietly over there

Emett Otter, the “Mastermind” behind the Jugband Maphia

You: Emett Otter? I can’t seem to find him as a member of SecondLife…but why doesn’t he talk?
Queenie Extraordinaire: cause he’s an otter…otters can’t talk you dope!
You: He looks like a frog
Queenie Extraordinaire: frog??? wait a minute….
Artemis Cain: have you actually ever seen an otter?
Queenie Extraordinaire: is this an interview or National Geographic pal??
Artemis Cain: how do you know the difference between a frog and an otter
Artemis Cain: you some kind of zoologist now
Artemis Cain: ?
Artemis Cain: Otters are the most dangerous creature known to man
You: so, I see that the Cinquetti family claims they crashed this sim using nukes – can you guys verify that?
Queenie Extraordinaire: this sim did NOT crash and there are many witnesses to that
Artemis Cain: actually, this is the one event we have had where the sim didn’t crash
Queenie Extraordinaire: I don;t know what they thought they were gonna get away with telling lies like that
Artemis Cain: I like how Justyn said that Creamy stole land from him
You: OK, so back to you guys – who are your members?
Queenie Extraordinaire: well we got Babyface Nogster, Bling Mistress T, our Gawd Mutha of course
Queenie Extraordinaire: I’m known as Demo, the Sexecutioner…..but I could never remember Demo so they tattoed it on my

You: So I see…
You: Who else is in the maphia?
Queenie Extraordinaire: and of course Emmett Otter
Queenie Extraordinaire: he;s the mastermind behind this
Queenie Extraordinaire: I hear we got some other families after us….
Artemis Cain: Hey… I wanna be in the club too!!!!!!
Queenie Extraordinaire: they are claiming we stole their bling
Artemis Cain: I mean um… Maphia
Queenie Extraordinaire: oh yeah we got Mayor McBling here too
Queenie Extraordinaire: we also got Nameless
You: Nameless?
Queenie Extraordinaire: yeah, she so deadly, she killed her own name
Queenie Extraordinaire: they just jealous that we are the most blingin maphia around

The Jugband Maphia

You: Why are you so bloody, Demo?
Artemis Cain: I can’t live without my bling
Artemis Cain: she is crazy
Artemis Cain: This one time.. she put a hit out…..
Artemis Cain: ON HERSELF!!!!!
You: Nevermind, I don’t want to know. That purple outfit is quite lovely underneath your blood – I suppose it’s

Queenie Extraordinaire: yeah this outfit here…its not even released yet, its WAIT A MINUTE
Queenie Extraordinaire: is this an interview or a friggin fashion show???
Artemis Cain: I just want to set the record straight, Mark
You: My name is Matthias, not Mark. Get it right.
You: Do you guys have any last comments?
Queenie Extraordinaire: yeah we warned them they phucked with the wrong people
Artemis Cain: If you mess with us… we are gonna fake bomb your stuff
Queenie Extraordinaire: JUGBAND MAPHIA 4 EVAAAA!!!!!
Artemis Cain: and it will look like it is on fire
Tiffany Martini: GO BLING
Artemis Cain: and.. well…. you will cry
Queenie Extraordinaire: Bling Mistress T….you rock baby gurl
Artemis Cain: so don’t PHUCK with us
You: OK, guys, thanks for your time
Artemis Cain: I have one more thing to add
Queenie Extraordinaire: thank you Mr Zander
Artemis Cain: I AM GOD’S GIFT TO EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28 Responses to “Jugband Strikes Back After Wedding Bombing”

  1. Seri

    Jun 30th, 2005

    Rock on, Mirage crew.

    Mafias suck anyway.

  2. Joe Public

    Jun 30th, 2005

    “Queenie Extraordinaire: we also got Nameless
    You: Nameless?
    Queenie Extraordinaire: yeah, she so deadly, she killed her own name”


    Nice comeback to the 14 year olds:-)

  3. The Gawd Mutha

    Jul 1st, 2005

    OMG PEEEEEEE- EEEEEEEEEING…!!!!! You’re not supposed to do to that to your Gawd Mutha…where is my concergie? I need a new suit! And while you’re out get me a new ring, all the slobber from you whack jobs fizzled my bling! Capisce????

    A quelli che ha un indizio che la mafia reale รจ, spero che lei ha piaciuto questo, per quelli che fa non, fa della ricerca.

  4. The Name is Freak

    Jul 1st, 2005

    Ok this is by far the dumbest crew i have ever seen in SL. No wonder the wedding got shot up. Hell if I ever saw these morons I would have shot em. Ya know what? I think that I will just shoot em for takin up space in SL isn’t that right Mr Rabbit (stuffed aninmal in corner)? What’s that Mr Rabbit you pissed in Emett Otter’s water and he liked it? OMG you are so wrong Mr Rabbit just do me a favor and don’t kill him just yet OK? Kewl.

  5. OttoDJ

    Jul 1st, 2005


    To Funny! Way to damn funny!!!

  6. Gia kennedy

    Jul 1st, 2005

    Umm Freak .. Get A Clue.. I’ll give u one since u cant seem to see it on your own, this artical was a mockery, just showing the cinquetti family mafia what they actualy look like being read lmao .. sorry u didnt get it

  7. Freak

    Jul 1st, 2005

    Gia kennedy,

    Are you the same Gia what Left That Justyn Guy and made him cry atleast thats what Creamy Caligari said Maybe you should be in this Paper as well at least there Story Made Sence

  8. The Gawd Mutha

    Jul 1st, 2005

    I’m ordering a hit on Freak, he/she is by far too retarded to grasp the irony in all of this, better yet, lets ship him/her off to the family the other group of dim wits should be in, “The Retardo Family”.

    Oh and on your way back Demo, bring me back some red wine, rigatoni al la vodka, and a pack of smokes. And wash that damn blood off of ya, you be famous now, gotta REPRESENT.

  9. Demo (AKA The Sexecutioner)

    Jul 1st, 2005

    I think I am just stunned speechless by the ignorance and STUPIDITY of Freak’s post.

    To get serious for a moment….during the creation of our “maphia” we laughed our asses off, and being mockingly creative to the point of utter ridiculousness (is that a word??)….but I thought to myself how THIS is what SL is about….HAVING FUN and doing so WITHOUT trying to hurt other people. Well for the most part anyway because apparently we struck one of Freak’s fragile little nerves…..

    Freak, I am truly sad for you….what a miserable existence you must have. I may have made an ass out of myself, but thats EXACTLY what I had set out to do!!! You however….well you’re a real piece of work. Best watch your back or we be sending the Godotter in to steal YOUR bling next…. ::rolls eyes::

    Werd to my fam….love you guys!! And GM, no worries, ya know I take care of ya!! Jugband 4 Evaaa!!!!!!! lmaooooo

  10. Tony Caligari

    Jul 2nd, 2005

    is thsi supposed to be a mockery? lmao worst attempt yet,i knew you opussies would settle for words over guns. Its ok, but this is the biggest waste of an article. What was done was done and its opver with, thats what a real mafia does. No beef taken with it, dont be mad cause your wedding pics have me Diablo and someother guy with nukes shootin at you in the backround, Its Just Business

  11. The Grump

    Jul 2nd, 2005

    Talk about pathetic!! I wonder if this guy goes out and a date and tries to get a little opussy? I guess it could be that he was thinking of possum and was trying to spell opossum. Well after all it’s just business. LMAO

  12. Demo (AKA The Sexecutioner)

    Jul 2nd, 2005

    Tony says “is thsi supposed to be a mockery?”

    Um actually no, we were as serious as a heart attack. LMAO you fool….THAT was the stupidest question thats been asked in this whole situation.
    Words over guns? Hmmm….you’re right, we could come find your ass and “virtually” shoot you…in a game where you don’t even “die”. Sounds like a plan! :-)

    ~The Sexecutioner~

  13. Floyd R. Turbo (American)

    Jul 2nd, 2005

    Wow Tony I would have thought that being a member of Mensa would have been enough for you without having to have a gang. Are you guys a gang like the “Bloods” or are you the real Coastal Nostrils? I am soooooo Impressed………..NOT

  14. DjNog

    Jul 2nd, 2005

    Well buisness is buisness, i guess, but as i said once before and i will say it yet again…you picked on the wrong people.

  15. The Gawd Mutha

    Jul 2nd, 2005

    YO Tony…let me make you an offer you can’t refuse. Take your skills on the computer and put them to better use, your eyes should be looking at the screen and your hands down between your legs…seriously compadre, you really are to dumb to even own a computer other than to jerk off to porn…I truly think it is all your capable of. So here’s the offer, you do us all a favor and stop trying to think and type and i’ll find you a nice butana to keep your hands busy under the desk.

  16. PetKa

    Jul 3rd, 2005

    I like it!

  17. Artemis Cain

    Jul 4th, 2005

    After a long holiday weekend, I feel as if I should comment on this. I hope everyone that read this had as much fun reading it as we did making it…

    As for the people that actually took it seriously…

    Honestly, you must have severe problems. As for the “Mafia” types in SL, you are all LAME! (with the obvious exception of my Jugband Family(Rock N Games Radio – http://www.Rockngames.com))

    Rock on to you all… Thank you for reading and commenting…

    Let’s keep up the fun here in Second life


    Artemis Cain

  18. Demo (AKA The Sexecutioner)

    Jul 4th, 2005

    Just to add a disclaimer to Art’s post LOL….not ALL of the RockNGames DJ’s were involved in this “incident” ;-)

    RNG Co-Owner/DJ/Damage Control/Sexecutioner

  19. Artemis Cain

    Jul 5th, 2005

    Of course not all the DJs were involved….
    it does get the address of the station out though….

    See.. the name gets out AND no puppies have to be killed….
    Yet, at least!

  20. GM Bellini

    Jul 11th, 2005

    LMAO! okay now THAT was GOOD, excellent post, excellent come back and OUTSTANDING in your face shit.

    GODDDDDDDDDDD I love a good kick ass! Cinquettis, maybe a sit down and hush is a good thing for you right now.

    First you say its personal, now its business. Dear babies, it is usually GOOD “business” to know the difference, and to know what your talking about.

    Another teenage mafia bites the dust………

    Lovin it……..

    GM Bellini…..

    OH! And I know right about now your typing your BIG comeback to my post. About how im Fattttt, and sit behind a computer all dayyyy, and blah blah blah. if thast all you have, PLEASE, its so dry and worn out…..but if u must Ill read it I promise :-) purely entertainment purposes only, sorta like Jerry Springer…..

    Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

  21. stacy maracas

    Jul 11th, 2005

    And Mr Artemis…….I said it in another post and Ill say it again here……PLEASE do not generalize ALL families that mafia roleplay online until you have met them and know them all to actually BE lame……

    It seems to me you have only met the children…….

    thast like me saying ALL vamps are ridiculous, when ive only met a few who actually are.

    Generalizing is the downfall of any good person……lets not do that, bad form Artemis bad form.

    Stacy Maracas/GM Bellini

  22. GM Costello

    Jul 11th, 2005

    Oye….. Art might I point out that uhhh you were a part of the so called “Cinquetti” mafia (If thats what you can actually call them) and ummm your new wife was also mafia to….So you actually just called you and your wife lame. LOL thats classic! Hey Gm Bellini I think your right…this is like an episode for Jerry Springer

    *cheers with Bellini* JERRY JERRY JERRY

  23. kiss my ass

    Jul 12th, 2005

    gm bellini and gm costello do all you two ever do is kiss each others ass? now go back to playing mommy and claim “it’s mafia role playing” when all it is a bunch of idiots saying oh this my mom, this my dad now i have to kiss your ass cuz if i don’t then i get kicked out .

  24. kissing ass is fun

    Jul 12th, 2005

    here is a typical conversation between bellini and costello:

    bellini: throws kisses
    costello: throws kisses back
    bellini: now costello i did it first and i am respected gm
    costello: aww but bellini i just luvs you sooo much
    bellini: i know everyone wants me, i’m hot
    costello: no i’m hot everyone wants me cuz i am a gm
    bellini: yes but i play with honor an never lie toots
    costello: your right what was i thinking i almost called you a liar i’m so sorry bellini turn around so i can kiss your ass more
    bellini: where are my kids yanno i need to have a kid each week it boosts my ego to know i got another one under me
    costello: oh me too girl i’m having another boy this week since girls dont like to kiss my ass too much except for you and plus we all cyber with our kids but shhh
    bellini: i have to go kiss some other mafia ass now toots
    costello: okies byes my luva

  25. stacyloca2@yahoo.com

    Jul 12th, 2005


    Whats even funnier is I KNOW WHO WROTE THAT!!


    Again…….jealousy rears it ugly head cept THIS time she was too chicken shit to put her name……

    *goes back to kissing GM Costellos ass*


  26. Artemis Cain

    Jul 12th, 2005

    If I may, I would like to set the record straight. I am not now, nor have I EVER been affiliated with ANY form of Mafia in any game. I come to SL to make stuff and get away from the every so bountiful joys of managing an IT department.

    I really don’t think that it is a good idea that my good name be associated with any sort of activities carried on therein…

    and have a great day!

  27. Kasie Costello

    Jul 13th, 2005

    *waves at Stormy* Hey thanks for thinking of me enough to put some thought into that….I just sat here and got the biggest laugh I have had in a long time =))) But I guess if kissing someones ass is standing by my family then I will just continue on kissing ass….got some time available later Stac? ROFL!!!

    Artemis….Lying dont look good on you *sigh* Its ok I know the truth and I see you tried to cover your own tracks but did not even stick up for your wife…So I guess that just goes to show the “affliation” you do have.

  28. Roxy Davis

    Jul 17th, 2005

    Lying?!?! You see don’t mind me… I don’t have all the story… But I kinda got scared when Kasie said lying… First time I heard her say it… Justyn is a dick…

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