The Miraculous Lifting of the Lag

by Alphaville Herald on 02/06/05 at 11:57 am

by Budka Groshomme, Science Fiction Desk editor

In an incoherent string of broken IMs, Thaddius Tinkle reported to the Herald Science Fiction desk this week that, as she was meditating at the Immaculate Heart Church in Maude, she thought that she had a vision. “There he was, up against the back wall. Sure as I’m here it was an image of Pope John Paul, big as life. Well, not life, really, but like he was a couple of years back, back when he could talk and was, you know, alive.”

Further questioning revealed that this appearance was not the first time Thaddius had seen an apparition of the recently departed head of the Catholic sect of religious worshippers. Twice before she had reported to the Herald of sightings elsewhere; once on the island of Eros and again while shopping in Camus.

“The reason I was even in the place was because I was having this really bad logon,” Thaddius stated of the evening in question, “and I figured that ducking into a church build might help until it went away.” She reported that in the preceding several hours she had become locked whenever she attempted to move, perform a gesture, or try a build. “It is so, you know, frustrating!” she messaged, “Having to wait it out, staring at that damned flashing screen for *seconds* on end when all you want to do is some shopping and stuff. Jeez, I couldn’t even bring up my map to see how to teleport out of the sim.”

Spying the church nearby, she decided to seek refuge until the simulator problem cleared itself. “I was just there, inside the doorway looking around, waiting for the place to come into focus, when my eye caught this, y’know, fog in the distance.”

The fog eventually resolved into an image, so she says, of JP2 raising one arm in what appeared to be a blessing. “Soon’s I saw that, the lag went away,” she attested. “Didn’t have a problem the rest of the evening anywhere, y’know?”

Whether this curing an avatar of persistent lag is the first recorded instance of a bona fide miracle occurring in SL we cannot say at this time. However, Thaddius Tinkle has no such doubts. Last evening, after shopping for an hour, she returned to Immaculate Heart and donated a full L$10 to the church as a token of her appreciation.