Kremlindens Plan Mass Weddings for St. Valentine’s Day

by Alphaville Herald on 09/02/06 at 7:44 am

by Pat the Rat


Following in the footsteps of many totalitarians and cult leaders throughout the ages like the Rev. Sun Myung Moon, Kremlindenlab has announced that on Valentine’s Day, it will hold a mass wedding. The bubbling, irrepressible Bub Linden will be on hand to perform the staggering, sim-lagging event.

In a Linden forums notice, Jeska announced that 30 lucky couples (15 in the morning and 15 in the afternoon) and 2 witnesses each are invited to apply with their partners in order to be allowed to participate in the group nuptials at the Opera House on the feted Varnish and Supernova Linden sims.

So far, the response of the forums appears to be…underwelming.

Never fear, our reporter has already requested to be among those who’ll tie the virtual knot…which we can only hope Minister Robin Linden will not “dissolve” if we become a Linden.

Announcing the Second Life Valentine’s Day Mass Wedding

Throughout the ages, Valentine’s Day has been a day where lovers let each other know their true feelings. This Valentine’s Day, Linden Lab would like to welcome you to participate in the first annual Second Life Valentine’s Day Mass Wedding.

Have you found the perfect Second Life Partner? Want to make it official? We are seeking out 30 couples (15 for the morning wedding and 15 for the afternoon wedding). Our own Bub Linden will perform the group ceremonies at the Linden Opera house on the sim boundary of Varnish and Supernova.

Interested in participating in this event? The first 30 couples who sign up here will be invited into a special V-Day Wedding Group. Each couple will be allowed to invite 2 guests as their “witnesses” to the event.

The Details;
- Location: Opera house at the sim boundary of Varnish and Supernova
- Time: Morning Wedding: 11am, Afternoon Wedding: 4pm SLT
- Limited to 30 couples (15 per ceremony)

11 Responses to “Kremlindens Plan Mass Weddings for St. Valentine’s Day”

  1. Rinji Kawabata

    Feb 9th, 2006

    OMG! Mall of America ownership and management must be socialists too! Don’t forget the ones on cable TV!

    Mass weddings are communist! To arms! To arms!

  2. Urizenus

    Feb 9th, 2006

    Good point, Rinji. Nothing says freedom and democracy like the administration of the Mall of the Americas! Why I bet that if Thomas Jefferson were a live today, he’d be running that very Mall.

  3. One Song

    Feb 10th, 2006

    I think this most certainly proves my theory that Linden Lab are indeed a communist company/organisation.
    And for the virtual historic records I’d like to also add that I (One Song/Mr Fairplay) was the first person to label them commies. That can be proved by looking back through artices on the SLH, although I can’t remember the specific one.

    So whats next? Will we find out that all this time, Kremlinden lab have been conspiring with China, and recieving a large portion of that 1 billion USD to build the Chinese virtual world?

    ps. Loving that picture caption, Uri.

  4. Not Gonna Tell Ya

    Feb 10th, 2006

    One Song you would find it very interesting that just last week a friend of mine in game (i won’t disclose names) accessed someone elses account (the owner of this account willingly gave their password for my friend to use his/her account) my friend then took this persons Lindens (which was okied by the account holder) then two days later these two had a spat and the person ended up reporting my friend to lindens for “stealing money, accessing the account” now we all know you were in a similar situation and it resulted in a permanent ban from the game for you and one other person. Well guess what all my friend got was a 3 day ban, and the money was taken out of his/her account and put back into the other one. Amazing how linden bends the rules as they want. Communists no doubt.

  5. Marsellus Wallace

    Feb 10th, 2006

    Hey Not Gonna Tell Ya:

    That’s what your friend get’s for being stupid. Why the need to access the account to transfer Lindens? Sounds like a setup to me. Who knows though. However, Lindens have no proof that they agreed to do all this so Lindens were in the right… Remember, it’s not what you know it’s what you can prove. Doesn’t make them communists.

    Hey One Song, you still around if you know what I mean? We talked awhile back you know where, but haven’t seen you in a bit. I need to give you the heads up on something, get back to me… You know how.

    Marsellus Wallace
    Boss, The Sim Mafia

  6. One Song

    Feb 10th, 2006

    Not Gonna Tell Ya, thats very interesting indeed, although it comes to me with no suprise. The real reason they banned me I believe was due to all the “shit” talking I do about SL and Linden Lab’s policies and all the exposing I do for whom they trully are as people.

    Myself, accessing someone I had “proven with public logs” rights to access her account, was just the excuse they were seeking to permanently ban me, Linden Lab does not know what the meaning of the word gratitude is. I was pretty much the say leading player during “Ressainance Era” in SL. Done a tone of virtual history shit, created the most infamous of content, and the way they pay you back is by giving you a nice permanent ban. They probably have their eyes on Anshe Chung at the moment, only reason they haven’t been able to ban her yet, is that she owns too much SL real Estate and has too many land rental deals with too many SL denizes, or they would of gotten rid of her too by now.

    Linden Lab is a big, mean exploratory piece of evil machinery, they drain everything they can get from you, your time, resources, knowledge, inspiration, talents, money, and when you no longer serve the game to their best interest, they ditch you faster than you can make your way out of the door.
    It’s truly sickening! People may wonder why I haven’t done anything about it so far. If the truth is to be known is that I know when to fold when my cards aren’t looking very promising, myself being a poker player. But karma has funny ways of making the righteous men, or women for that fact getting their back on them, and it’s all a matter of time until karma unviels her self to them. Just wait and see, she always comes when your least expecting her.

    Good day folks!

  7. Prokofy Neva

    Feb 13th, 2006

    Re: “Linden Lab is a big, mean exploratory piece of evil machinery, they drain everything they can get from you, your time, resources, knowledge, inspiration, talents, money, and when you no longer serve the game to their best interest, they ditch you faster than you can make your way out of the door.”

    You might have meant to say “exploitative” rather than “exploratory” but that, too. Pondering this rather harsh and blanket statement, I’d have to say I don’t find it to be true — at least not yet.

    To say it is an evil machine would be to imply intent, deliberation, and planning to what often appears to be accident, neglect, and response to crisis.

    It’s also the case that when people make “collectives” like Linden Lab, where they privilege “the group” uber alles and have group dynamics, they aren’t aware of how that group can begin to seem evil to others. They’ve given it their allegiance, and suppressed their differences with it, and they don’t need to be seen how others *don’t* suppress their differences. It might be the case that very good-willed and well-intentioned men and women are in this collective — and indeed that seems to be the case. But the unconscious effects of their group and its dynamic are impacting others in ways they may not intend, or at least seem helpless to plan for, and respond to.

    I see a lot of 20-something arrogant tekkies whose default, which is “there’s always another guy to buy the island” and “if the population grew any more we’d have to throttle it,” cripples their customer service ethic. And a lot of other things I often write about cripple it. There’s no adult supervision, as the 30-something and 40-somethings only lightly manage these energetic 20-somethings and give them lots of room to manage their sectors.

    I imagine as their bottom line comes up to meet their foreheads like the pavement in a car accident some day, they will have hand-wringing, corporate retreats, heads rolling, restructuring, new hires, etc. and will end up with people a little older and wiser making sure their younger people with different portfolios aren’t such assholes.

  8. Not Gonna Tell Ya

    Feb 13th, 2006

    Lindens have no proof? Well all they can do is refer to the chat logs that show the account holder discussing how it is okay for this other person to access the account and use the money in it. It all took place in game. The logs themselves were forwarded to LL by my friend as well, something LL can easily check for validity but refuse too. Answer this then, why was One Song and Reno Parks perm banned for the same crime, but the girl who gave them her password was not? It says in the TOS giving away your password is a violation of the TOS and results in a ban. Why then was my friend who did the exact same thing in almost the exact same circumstances only given a 3 day suspension and money refunded to the other party? who was not suspended as well? What was LL reason for changing the rules? They change their ban policies as they see it, they can do this, it’s really their game not ours as they claim for marketing purposes only.

  9. Not Gonna Tell Ya

    Feb 13th, 2006

    I totally agree One Song, they are definately eyeing Anshe, the problem there is she owns over half of SL real estate, so it would be a blow to them financially. There is a thread awhile back on in the rants forum where someone is claiming Anshe is using two other players accounts, a violation of the TOS, i can’t think of the names off hand, but it makes a very interesting scenario, what if someone like Anshe violated the TOS? Would LL seriously perm ban her?

  10. Matthias

    Feb 13th, 2006

    Anshe has bought at least one person’s account that I know of. The person was a friend of mine who is still in-world under a different account who is nowhere near as “famous” as the bought account is.

  11. Avah

    Feb 13th, 2006

    Linden Labs explores orifices. Thats about it.

    “To say it is an evil machine would be to imply intent, deliberation, and planning to what often appears to be accident, neglect, and response to crisis.”

    It is deliberate by some Lindens. Remember kids, appearances are more important than the truth. Its an unremarkable experiment in chaos.

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