Yet Another Fake First! Fucktards at UK’s Guardian Working Overtime Reprinting False PR

by Urizenus Sklar on 08/11/06 at 2:44 pm

Wow, the Guardian must be churning out false PR releases just as fast as they can receive them from the PR Flacks. Check the facts asserted in corporate PR releases? The Guardian says: “Why the fuck bother. This is just a fucking video game.” Just yesterday the Guardian reprinted the false boast that Axel Springer was starting the first tabloid newspaper in Second Life. Ahem, the Herald begs to differ. Originally I chalked that up to incompetent nitwit reporter Jess Smee. (s/he of the “history of the perm” stories that appear to me to be cribbed from Wikipedia, but who knows, maybe taken from a German publication). But today it’s another reporter and another pack of lies. So now I detect a pattern, and it seems to have something to do with editorial incompetence. Ready for this one? Be sure you are sitting down. Britain’s Chanel 4, claims it will be offering the “first radio station to launch in second life!”

Channel 4′s director of radio, Nathalie Schwarz, said listener interaction is important for the station. “Being the first radio station to launch in Second Life enables us to bring our range of programmes to new audiences who are interested in interactive content.”

Nathalie, I have a wee tiny bit of advice for you. Go fuck yourself. If you were the least bit interested in your audience and in listening to them you would know that there have been radio stations in Second Life since day one, and some of them are very fine thank you very much. And *shame* on the Guardian for publishing this crap unfiltered. We can now officially add this story to our gallery of lies, and you to our gallery of fucktards in cyberspace.

via Ordinal Malaprop

9 Responses to “Yet Another Fake First! Fucktards at UK’s Guardian Working Overtime Reprinting False PR”

  1. Cocoanut Koala

    Nov 8th, 2006

    I can’t get to the link without registering, Uri, but I believe this is a “real-world” radio station, now with an arm in SL.

    I understand what you are saying, of course. But they get to say they are the first. Because they are the first “real” radio station.

    Because we are chopped liver. We aren’t “real,” in that we don’t exist in the real world.

    This is one reason why these companies promoting real-life goods and services within SL ought to be charged at a commercial rate.

    There is a very real difference between real-world businesses using SL to advertise themselves, and those in SL providing a service or product (or radio station)only to other avatars, not of use outside of SL, and not for sale in the real world.

    Yet LL charges us the same for our land – which has an entirely different purpose – that they charge the real-world companies. This is because, as the CFO said, the corporations “can afford it.”

    And to add insult to injury, they get to say they are “the first.” (Meaning the first “real” one.)

    With the current LL policy, real-world companies will be able to establish an arm in SL out of their advertising budgets for their REAL product, at the same rates we pay for our individual, SL-only enterprises.

    The islands are just the first step. They won’t confine themselves to the islands. They will use the mainland as well, and pay the same as we do there, too. They will put up billboards for Nike at the same cost we put up a billboard for “Sophie’s Sexy SL Swimwear.”

    They will also give away the pixel products we have been encouraged to charge for, because those products aren’t their purpose.

    At the same time, they will get all the advertising and PR benefit from their small investment that Sophie will never get, and indeed, would never even need or be able to use.

    We are going the way of the dodo, and SL is becoming Advertising World. The only way to stem the tide and maintain any sort of niche for ourselves – the ones who built the SL the outside companies want a piece of now – is to charge them commiserately for their commercial use of their land:

    Commercial rate – for those whose business, products, and services exist in the non-SL world, aka the real world.

    Resident rate – for those whose products and services exist in SL only, for use only to other avatars, within SL

    Educational and charitable rate – for non-profit entities providing an educational, charitable, or support service in SL.

    It’s only fair.


  2. Nacon

    Nov 8th, 2006

    Muhhahhahahahhahha! more fucktards, gotta love them.

  3. Beyond Gray

    Nov 8th, 2006

    Coco: You shouldn’t forget all those newbies brought to SL because of the current media agitation. They improve your sales too. Right now I believe early real life movers give more to SL than SL gives back to them. SL isn’t any kind mass medium yet so they do invest as much as everyone else.


  4. mrlk

    Nov 8th, 2006

    ive copied and pasted for you – what is a bit disengenious (sp?) is the fact that you dont mentioned the preceeding 10 odd paragraphs – you have to scroll all the way to the bottom before they do the radio thing (i agree btw that both thye guardian and c4 are idiots) – the bulk of the article is the interesting bit – as well as the comment about having html (effectivelky) by spring 07


    Channel 4 and the Sci-Fi channel are among the companies contributing content to Second Life’s first broadband TV network, due to launch in the virtual world at the end of this month.

    The pilot project is being put together by creative agency Rivers Run Red, a specialist in creating new projects for the Second Life virtual world or “metaverse”.

    Rivers Run Red is partnering with 10 big content companies to provide material for TV channels on

    By the end of 2007, the company aims to have more than 100 specialist channels streaming a mix of branded content and original programming 24 hours a day.

    User content will also be featured, picking up on the trend of “machinima”, or virtual world film, as well as distributing music and video.

    The channel will help users with the financial costs of hosting video, particularly as video blogging becomes more popular. Distribution will initially be capped at 400,000 units due to bandwidth costs.

    At launch, the Second Life broadband TV service will be free, but pay-per-view channels may be introduced later, and advertising will not be based on traditional broadcast models.

    “What we’re trying to do are much more immersive ads,” said the chief executive of Rivers Run Red, Justin Bovington.

    “We might have a competition based around a film, for example, but it’s about using the content as an enabler to get people involved. I doubt we’ll be having the traditional Cilit Bang adverts.”

    Users can pick up a small, large or supersize package from various distribution points in Second Life and install them on their own land or virtual home. TV schedules appear alongside the screen.

    Mr Bovington said that TV is a more communal experience in Second Life with groups of people gathering around a TV and discussing the programme. He described the difference between Second Life and the internet as the difference between radio and colour TV.

    “Massively multiplayer online role-playing games are a good way of engaging a community,” said the brand development manager at the Sci-Fi channel, Ken Jones.

    “It’s about merging user-generated content and community yet being able to monetise that.”

    The channel is initially committing one hour of content per month that can also be viewed in a dedicated Sci-Fi channel lounge. For the channel, that means creating a branded environment that provides a more interactive experience than watching programmes passively on TV and allows unobtrusive, “ambient” advertising.

    Mr Jones anticipates that the channel will eventually produce bespoke Second Life content, tailored according to reader feedback.

    Rivers Run Red has been working with Second Life since the platform launched in 2003. The agency set up the BBC’s One Big Weekend concert in May; 30,000 people attended the real world version in a park in Dundee, while 6,000 people attended in Second Life.

    Rivers Run Red has already been approached by a venture capital group interested in a spin-off TV product.

    Channel 4 Radio is also expanding into Second Life, claiming to be the first radio station to be based in the virtual world. Avatars can access the station through or listen through a portable virtual radio, and shows will include a dedicated Second Life community show.

    Channel 4′s director of radio, Nathalie Schwarz, said listener interaction is important for the station. “Being the first radio station to launch in Second Life enables us to bring our range of programmes to new audiences who are interested in interactive content.”

    By spring 2007, developments to the Second Life application are expected to allow websites to be integrated within the landscape, effectively providing a sophisticated social networking system.

  5. Lewis Nerd

    Nov 8th, 2006

    Maybe I should tell the Guardian about the plywood cube in Second Life that I was the first to ever create.

    Oh, and did you know I can build and landscape in SL too? Nobody’s ever done that before I did.

    There’s another thing I am definitely sure nobody else in SL ever did. I spent almost half an hour playing with no lag.


  6. Urizenus

    Nov 8th, 2006

    Next week I’m going to launch the first strip club in SL!

    Coco, about these comments:

    “But they get to say they are the first. Because they are the first “real” radio station. Because we are chopped liver. We aren’t “real,” in that we don’t exist in the real world.”

    I disagree with you 100%. I say that when someone sets up an internet radio station that has live DJ’s with 24/7 programming, much of it from DJ’s that are in game, well that is *real*. When media types think that old media is somehow more real than new media like podcasting and internet radio, well that just shows that they don’t have a grip on the new reality. Their hubris makes them think that they are the only reality, and that something only counts if *they* do it. Well we can’t let them get away with that. When they make their false arrogant claims of “first” we are going to call them on it over and over and over again until we finally bang that point into their arrogant bloated fat heads.

  7. Donk Kongo

    Nov 8th, 2006

    I have SL’s first mullet.

  8. Nacon

    Nov 9th, 2006

    They are the first fucktard PR publishing news making a fault statement to Second Life’s History. Let’s give them that.

  9. Cocoanut Koala

    Nov 9th, 2006

    I agree with you, Uri.

    They can answer this criticism, though, just by putting in their PR release something like, “the first real-world radio station to be present in SL,” or whatever the right words for that would be.

    They need to be charged a commercial rate. They are going to run over us and squash us like field mice under an elephant’s foot, because they are operating in an entirely different economy from what we are.

    At least make them pay for the privilege. Charge them commercial rates for their SL advertising ventures.


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