Herald’s Holiday Appeal – Help the Less Fortunate
by Pixeleen Mistral on 17/12/06 at 1:23 am
Each L$ you contribute can change a second life!
by Pixeleen Mistral, Metaverse Media Critic
During this very special time of the year, our hearts – and thoughts – naturally turn towards friends, family, collared slaves, furries, and recent cybersex partners. The entire staff here at the Herald ask that you take a moment from shopping for skimpy pixelated lingerie, pose balls, and collars to think of those less fortunate – and share!
This holiday season, the Herald is leading a very special fund raising drive for our friends at the Second Life Insider Blingsider – where a catastrophic shortage of periods and declarative sentences threatens the Blingsider’s integrity. We previously wrote that Alaska Tallahassee was sending desperate distress signals with her “Just Askin’” columns – but most readers assume that Alaska was simply suffering from writer’s block, and the need to keep Aimee and AOL at bay with 4 posts per day. If it were only this simple…
Help Tattoo beat Just Askin’ disease!
Since she has started work at the Blingtsider, Tattoo Nino has also contracted – and struggled with – a bad case of Just Askin’ disease. Today this terrible disease took a sudden turn for the worse when Tattoo managed to write an entire article with only one period – and 10 question marks. There can be no question – the need is acute at the Blingsider and only you can help us save Tattoo from endless self-parody.
It is not well known outside the virtual newspaper business, but question marks are extremely expensive – and Tattoo has already spent the Blingsider’s entire 2007 budget in a wild spree of interrogatives unencumbered by simple declarative statements. Some speculate that this was simply a frantic bid to get someone to comment on vapid posts – but whatever the cause – the Blingsider needs more punctuation marks soon or they will be limited to publishing one über long run-on sentence once the last of their question marks are gone.
If you can help, please stop by the Herald offices with a new uwrapped period or exclamation mark. The Herald staff will match your donations in the hope that no one ever have to read a post that is 90% questions again.
Here is the text of Tattoo’s latest Just Askin’ post
–
Just Askin’: Do you dip or dive?
Do you dip in and out of Second Life? Quick little bites of focused activity? Do you pop in for an event, or to grab a quick meetup, do a little business, have a get-together with friends, or to answer some messages?
Or are you a diver? Do you dive in to Second Life and stick things out for long stretches even when you’ve got nothing particular on? Right back in again if you crash?
I suppose a lot of this depends on your view of Second Life. Is it an enhancement for you, like your email program or your web-browser? Or is it a self-contained activity? Dipper or Diver? Which one are you?
Prokofy Neva
Dec 17th, 2006
Awww, I thought Tateru was actually practicing to be hired by the Herald these days!
Didn’t you see this headline?
http://www.secondlifeinsider.com/2006/12/12/achieve-stronger-and-harder-classifieds-without-patches-or-pills/
Or the story on the hos in Amsterdam?
http://www.secondlifeinsider.com/2006/12/15/spotlight-amsterdam/
Why, that was just *mean* Pix — whaaaat she pissed in your Wheaties today?
I do agree they have a severe deficit over there on the copy desk. Lookahere:
“How would you feel about telling your boss, your friends, your co-workers, your parents, or the cute guy at the doughnut shop that you are a Second Life Resident? How do you think they would react? Positively? Or negatively? Or with just blank looks and confusion?”
I think Tat is going through a severe case of interrogatives. I know if you put Alveena cream on that it will go away. It can be awful itchy, being seized by the Great Questions of SL, Lord knows.
Tateru Nino
Dec 17th, 2006
Whee! I think question marks are very underrated. They’re all curvy and they hang well on the rail in the closet. I’d love more commas. They keep getting out of the bag
Tateru Nino
Dec 17th, 2006
Look for more question marks today! After reading this, I decided to use only commas and question marks this time – we can’t have you go starving for a good laugh, now, can we? ^^
Urizenus
Dec 17th, 2006
I am reminded of the case of the recently departed Harvard Philosopher W.V.O. Quine who had the question mark on his Royal typewriter replaced with a logical symbol. Asked how he could write without a question mark he replied: “I deal in certainties.” That is more or less how we do at the Herald too.
Tomas Hausdorff
Dec 17th, 2006
> “I deal in certainties.” That is more or less how we do at the Herald too.
Congratulations, Uri. Nothing funnier has been written in any Second Life related publication, online or otherwise, since Linden Lab was first founded. Beautifully written, elegant and subtle, complete with a reference to a Harvard scholar and everything.
Ordinal Malaprop
Dec 23rd, 2006
Quine said that? As an epistomologist? He must have been drunk.
Urizenus
Dec 23rd, 2006
Often the case, I believe.