A Tiny Reign of Terror?

by Alphaville Herald on 01/02/07 at 1:02 pm

by Onder Skall of Second Life Games

Larger than he seems…

Some might say it’s all innocent fun. Some might say that the advantages a smaller avatar enjoys couldn’t possibly destroy everything we hold dear. Some might say that Hitler wasn’t a bad guy either, but I’m not one of them. Are you?

The Tiny culture of Second Life is something that many residents have noticed gaining momentum, but few speak about it — for fear of being silenced. As a result, the general public remains unaware of the economic influence being generated through avatar sales, custom clothing, furniture, and architecture. Tiny-targeted shops are springing up all over Second Life, and their ranks are growing at an exponential rate.

But don’t let their fluffy tails and cute paws fool you: Tinies aren’t to be toyed with. It takes some brilliant (and most likely devious!) minds to make avatars so overwhelmingly cute. A smaller avatar is harder to shoot, and even when you have them in your sights, it’s not so easy to pull the trigger on “Fluffy”, is it? Tiny cosplay obviously has a militant agenda!

A recent sacking of Rome (in which a large group of Tinies led by Tedwood Portsmouth raided the Roma sim) was just the beginning. From malls in the sky and elaborately beautiful builds on the ground, the Tinies are preparing their next military action. Take Wynx’s Whimsical Wonders in the Emit Time sim, for example: surrounded by fortified walls that look like a verdant valley, they are obviously preparing an adorable fortress for the coming conflict:


The economic leverage that the tinies can muster is staggering. Consider: A 512 plot goes a much longer way for an avatar one-third the regular size. Besides that, in contract negotiations it’s just too difficult to say no to the little darlin’s! How can a regular-sized avatar, no matter how adorable, ever hope to compete?

The public can’t remain blind forever. Beware, Second Life: you will come to pine for the days when Goreans and Ageplay were our biggest concerns! Imagine the horror of Tinies having sex! The fabric of the very universe itself will be destroyed if they are allowed to simulate sex unchallenged! BEWARE!!!!

27 Responses to “A Tiny Reign of Terror?”

  1. Eloise

    Feb 1st, 2007

    Being an old reactionary… why are tinies news? 16 months ago or so they were news, and all the new rage.

    They dipped (but didn’t die out completely), but shops specialising in tiny wares, tiny sex balls etc. have all existed before and some have never gone out of business.

  2. Urizenus

    Feb 1st, 2007

    Indeed, the Herald first exposed the Tiny meanace in June of 2005 (http://www.secondlifeherald.com/slh/2005/06/tiny_little_tro.html). But the little shits are so evil the story bears repeating, don’t you think?

  3. Anonymous

    Feb 1st, 2007

    Wow… puts all of this Ageplay stuff into perspective. I almost wasted my torch and pitchfork on the wrong thing!

  4. Urizenus

    Feb 1st, 2007

    tinies to the gallows!

  5. Prokofy Neva

    Feb 1st, 2007

    It’s absolutely true they are making a comeback and sneaking around everywhere. It is hugely sinister. You don’t see them, and they bite your ankles. Even though I know I could pack in more of the per 512 and make double rent, they scare me.

  6. Napalm Vernon

    Feb 1st, 2007

    I have a few Tiny Avs. My most popular one is my Stripe Mogwai. Chicks can’t resist the Mogwai.

  7. Walker Spaight

    Feb 1st, 2007

    See? See??? They’re even stealing our women now!

  8. Betty

    Feb 1st, 2007

    I missed the Rome sacking?! RATS.

    **blows tiny kisses**

  9. Heartun Breaker

    Feb 3rd, 2007

      See? See??? They’re even stealing our women now!

      Posted by: Walker Spaight

    As if you’ve ever had a woman! lol Or did you attract them with something tiny? ;)

  10. Walker Spaight

    Feb 3rd, 2007

    Wow, Heartun, we publish you in our newspaper and this is the thanks we get?

  11. urizenus

    Feb 3rd, 2007

    That Heartun is a crooool one. Glad I’m a mastadon, or she’d be dissing my junk too.

  12. Walker Spaight

    Feb 4th, 2007

    Watch out or she’ll be calling your mastodon extinct.

  13. Heartun Breaker

    Feb 4th, 2007

    Only if you got ‘junk in your trunk’ Uri… that would be sick (and warrant a new Mastadon fetish group) :D

  14. Angelia Rees

    Feb 6th, 2007

    What the *hell*? What kind of stupid article is this? I hope this is meant as a farce, because otherwise, it’s slander. No such “raid” has ever happened in Roma, and Tedwood is a well liked and respected member of our community. (And who did *not* give permission for his name and property to be used in this article in *this* fashion!) If this is a farce, I find it to be in extremely bad taste.

    And if it is meant to be serious – are you people nuts? What’s wrong with dressing up as a small furry woodland creature? You sound like religious fundamentalists – and all over something that amounts to imaginative make-believe.

    Angelia Rees
    Chief Vestal, ROMA sim

  15. anonymous

    Feb 6th, 2007

    Is there ANY proof to back this story up? if there evidence for these claims, I’d like to see them. How do you know all this? based on what proof?
    What you guys are doing is hurting a community on SL. And generating unnecessary hate. This has to stop.
    I just think that sl is an ideal fantasy for folk to perhaps be what they want without the constraints of real life physicality. I for one have just had my natural loathing for Journos reinforced.
    The actions of the FEW, does NOT represent the WHOLE.
    Not ALL Tinys have tiny sex. YOu make that claim, now please prove it.


  16. Urizenus

    Feb 6th, 2007

    The typical rants of a Tiny apologist and fellow-traveller. If I had doubts before they are gone now: Those tinies have taken to poisoning minds. Burn the little trouble-makers before it is too late!

  17. Walker Spaight

    Feb 6th, 2007

    To the pitchforks!

  18. Torin Golding

    Feb 6th, 2007

    As owner of the ROMA sim I would like to reiterate Angelia Rees’ comments above. I am not a tiny furry myself, but all are welcome in ROMA as long as they follow the guidelines set down for everyone.

    There was no ‘sacking’.

    To my knowledge a few of our non-tiny citizens donned some tiny avatars a few weeks back so they could adjust some armor. They ended up having a good time launching themselves from the ROMA catapults into the harbor.

    So normally non-tiny players putting on tiny avatars and playing with the ROMA catapults = a comment on tiny culture??? This is poor reporting to say the least, baseless slander of Tedwood at its worst.

    Since 90% of SL reporting is based on heresay and agenda pushing anyway, i’m not surprised that our sim has finally found its way onto a hack’s screen.

  19. Shift Helle

    Feb 6th, 2007

    As a tiny that knows many other fellow tinies I have this to say…

    MOST have nothing to do with sex! I’m completely non-sexual as a Tiny. And frankly I haven’t met any tiny that is [and told me about it]. So if any one here looses their ‘women’ to a Tiny…. that’s pretty sad.

    And as far as Tiny’s having an advantage with their size, we only have the advantage as much as the shortest AV. Sure, the AnimationOverrides squish the Av into a ball… but that doesn’t matter much as far as space goes. The AV still reacts to the ‘SL environment’ just like every other. That means… the tiny… is all illusion.

    So very lame.

  20. Urizenus

    Feb 6th, 2007

    lies! I heard that Roma burned for days and that the tinies raped and pillaged and played their tiny fiddles while it burned. Shame on the tiny apologists!

  21. Tedwood Portsmouth

    Feb 6th, 2007

    Well all this has just gone to prove what loathsome creatures journalists are, willing to spread their own petty minded and frankly insecure biased opinions to anyone who will have the misfortune to read them. I find the very essence of SL is that people can be what they want as long as it is legal. I have many friends who are unable to do in RL what they can in SL, be that dance, or even go “outside”. It is surely no worse being a tiny furry creature in SL than, say, a vampire, demon or “overlord” of your own fantasy land is it Urizenus? As for the mentioning of two bona fide business folk in SL, I am astounded that you can be quite so flippant about potentially damaging businesses which have taken hundreds of hours to set up. If tiny furs were a religious group or race, this sort of treatment would, justifiably, not be tolerated.

  22. Etheria Parrott

    Feb 6th, 2007

    Who buys those tiny sex balls? Maybe they are voyeurs who hide behind hedges hoping to catch a couple of tinies in the act. They’ll wait a long, long time. All this pondering on whether we have sex is bordering on perversion. What are you, critterphiles? Inadequate research! We are clones of course.

    You *will* be assimilated.

  23. Urizenus

    Feb 7th, 2007

    Tedwood, how *dare* you impute that technopagan island overlords are somehow more evil than tinies! I am shocked! Shocked, I tell you! I should sue. It would be worth it to put a few of those little tiny pathological liars on the stand. You don’t think a jury would see right through their beady little lying eyes?



  24. Enamabala Towradgi

    Feb 7th, 2007

    I am upset not by the fact that Roma was sacked by tinies, but because /I/ was the leader of the tiny ring which invaded the sim, not Teddy. They were wearing MY stuff, forchrissake. I’m the one with the brushy helmet; that means I’m in charge. I demand the article be corrected. Immediately.

  25. Wayfinder Wishbringer

    Feb 15th, 2007

    LOL, great article.

    Thought I’d ad a bit of “tinies” history. Quite some time ago, a small piece of land was donated to Elf Clan. Where was that land? None other than the very center of Jessee. (For newbies.. that’s one of the most well knonw “battle sims” on the grid. Enter at your own risk type stuff.)

    Only problem was, the land was only 256m. What could we possibly do with that? The land was so TINY.

    Ah… the solution. The wonders of that land was that although it was so small… it was situated right in the heart of Jessee… and on a cliffside that overlooked everything. Major strategic advantage. If one was small enough…

    Thus was born the RABID ELVES, fanged, viscious pandas, bunny rabits, raccoons, skunks, bats, puppies, kittens and fox cubs… all trained in the art of WATERMELON LAUNCHERS! A small, low-prim fortress was built on the cliff and we spent happy times lobbing watermelons as far as they would lob, at no target in particular. Fortunately for Jessee… we were busy with other Elven matters and didn’t do so often. But when we were there no one messed with Rabid Elves. At least, no self-respecting warrior did. After all, what could he brag about later? That he offed a bunny wabbit? (BTW, if you’re a tiny with a watermelon launcher, be sure to sit before firing. The recoil is murder).

    Rabid Elves no longer exists, but while it did… it was glorious.

    Our motto: “Be afwaid. Be vewy afwaid.”

  26. Oxytone

    Apr 19th, 2008

    Did any of you who are apparently upset or think this is bad journalism take the time to realise that this is parody and farce? Jeeze people, you look like a bunch of PhD candidates who traded their sense of humor for their degrees.

  27. Criss Fegte

    Nov 4th, 2008

    Well it’s obvious that this article was done in fun but just on one serious note about the sex ball…i think that their are some height requirements in toss so sex between tinys furrys would be a little questionable. We don’t want them to procreate anyway lol.

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