Lindens Name New Sim after African Goddess of Lag

by Alphaville Herald on 05/04/07 at 12:56 am

“she slows down the day and night, and everything around here happens in a time outside of time”

Special to the Herald by Economic Mip

As I was cruising the new continent, I had the misfortune of running across a sim named “Mbokomu” which certainly brought back memories. According to several African tribes, Mbokomu was the daughter of Ngombe. According to the Ngombe tribe in of Zaire (now the Democratic Republic of Congo) she was sent to earth with her mother, due to the perpetual annoyance of the father. Also according to the Ngombe tribe, she was discontent with earth, and disliked all things green. (Some go so far as to blame her for all droughts, but that seems a bit harsh. Also, she found humans and the mortal creatures of the earth amusing, but was dismayed to find out they had such a short life cycle. She had a very unique way of correcting this problem…

Laggin’ the Day Away in Mbokomu

My first encounter with Mbokomu, and the Ngombe was during the African Great War (“The Second Congo War” it now claims as a name according to the Wikipedia.) It was 2002, and since all of the Zimbabwean newspapers were claiming that our side would be victorious, I was searching for a way to make money in the nation of Zaire (hopefully at the expense of one of Mugabe’s deals with the country, as I was still quite bitter about the land “reallocation” and the subsequent loss of employment). Upon entering the country I quickly learned that the newspapers were being more slanted than normal, and we had no chance whatsoever at a victory. By the third day of my expedition I simply wanted to get out of the country alive.

I hired a young guide, foolishly hoping that the brutal thugs on all sides of this insane conflict would not shoot a kid. I told the guide I was looking for “Mokele-mbembe” and that it was probably near Lubumbashi (a city in Zaire which was a few miles from Zambia). He may have believed me, and what kid in a war zone does not wish to go dinosaur hunting? So anyway, somewhere in between Likasi and our destination we found a small hut in the middle of a large clearing. It was a surprisingly peaceful area, without so much as a rustling of trees.The fields were empty, and an old man was attempting unsuccessfully to start a fire. The wood was apparently too dry. I asked him why he did not travel beyond the clearing to get better wood. According to my guide (who due to the open space no longer could claim that the birds rustling in the trees were a gigantic dinosaur), he said it would take to long. Having not yet entered into his clearing, I did not understand. I grabbed a few sticks, and headed in.

The clearing seemed larger then I had originally thought. The grass was all a burnt brown, and no crops were visible. Eventually I made it to the old man, and his wife who came out to watch. He repeated what he had said before, and this time it made sense. He further claimed that he and his wife had found favor in the eyes of Mbokomu, and that she would not easily allow them to slip from her grasp. He believed this was for the best, as the warriors of all sides were fearful of the deity. He claimed, “she slows down the day and night, and everything around here happens in a time outside of time”. His wife pitched in, seconds had turned into days, and days had turned into years for them. Then the old man said something more chilling (in retrospect) “with Mugabe in charge, your people will know this phenomenon well”. I decided that he was confused, an old man in a war zone, surely he guessed my origin. My guide got me to my location, and after mapping my experience, I quickly figured out I had been no more then fifty miles from Zambia the entire time. I made a point however, to avoid the path of this goddess or demon again. Clearly Linden Labs is unaware of her wrath.

8 Responses to “Lindens Name New Sim after African Goddess of Lag”

  1. Interbreeding

    Apr 5th, 2007

    You had me going there until you said that the wood was too dry to burn. You’ve never been outside your home town have you?

  2. Nacon

    Apr 5th, 2007

    “I made a point however, to avoid the path of this goddess or demon again. Clearly Linden Labs is unaware of her wrath.”

    Clearly, you’re an nut case.

  3. Brace

    Apr 5th, 2007

    Ngombe means cow in Swahili

    which is an East African language

  4. Joshua Nightshade

    Apr 5th, 2007

    Uh, what the hell?

  5. Prokofy Neva

    Apr 5th, 2007

    Great story! It reminds me of the introduction Elena Bonner wrote to one of her books, about the Stalin terror, where she said about her childhood in the House on the Embankment where writers and scientists were carted away in the middle of the night, never to be seen again:

    “Did it happen?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “Is it true?”

  6. ?

    Apr 6th, 2007


    the fuck

    was that.

  7. ?

    Apr 6th, 2007

    I am not profky neva. for some reason when I posted that, it came up as saying posted by profky neva. but it was not posted by her. weird. this post is cursed. im going home.

  8. Myrrh Massiel

    Apr 7th, 2007

    -grins widely-

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