I Like ‘Em Big & Black
by Alphaville Herald on 08/08/07 at 8:02 pm
A Black woman’s advice for men on skins
by Aaliyah Munro, sex/love/advice expert
I’m the type of girl who likes hard, vein-riddled, wall-eroding, oh-so real looking…muscles. A big dick would be nice as well.
You know what I mean – I want the sweat laden muscles of Gor, minus the barbaric requisite, or the cut body of an incarcerated rapper without having to pull out my PsiTec on his ass. As a Black woman avi with an affinity for the brothers, I have noticed that not only are they hard (mmm) pressed to find a good skin, but their shapes often lead me to wander to the land of fuzzy balls. Because I know I’m speaking to a decidedly liberal (and mildly captive, after the titillating opening) audience, the following will be more anecdotal and compelling than offensive – because Second Life is a White suburbanite’s fantasy playground, developers often overlook the few Black men who can afford to play the game.
After doing an arduous fifteen page research paper on Black identity as it relates to Second Life, my findings can be considered inconclusive at best. I did, however, determine that a Black male avi has it worse than its White counterpart. He’s not only pigeonholed into being some sort of thug or gangsta, he has his pick of perhaps 20 decent-looking skins amidst a sea of horribly designed, tar colored skins and grossly disproportionate shapes. Because I will eventually settle down and begin my quest for a virtual suitor, and because I drip at the sight of a muscular bod, I am offering my stylistic advice to males who seek to find a melanin-enriched, warrior-like physique. Like any decent advice columnist should (and trust me, I had a damn good time), I’ve researched and found some sexy skins and shapes that it would behoove you to try.
The Million Dollar Man
the Million Dollar Skin Lab in Ifrit
Are you a sexy sophisticate who likes to wine, dine, and think you’re fine? If so, you’re a million dollar man. This skin was artfully done, and is detailed- right down to the large patch of foreskin covering your naughty bits. I can imagine this guy whisking some lucky lady into a dramatic dip at Cruiz’s Cotton Club, or walking the white sands on any number of sims in a free flowing, white linen ensemble.
The Kappa Man
by Jack1 Shepard, found on the SL Exchange
Break out the candy canes males- the Kappa Man is here. With a masculine yet sugary sweet face, this redbone skin and shape makes getting laid as easy as slipping roofies in the Kappa Kool-Aid. Note the guns- I’d love to be engulfed in all their muscular glory…mmm. The only thing that troubles me about this skin is the eyes (which are not included); the day I see a Black man with intense green eyes is the day I stop having sex, for good.
It’s Raining Ink
by Mickie Ambassador, found on the SL Exchange
Ok, so I know this is not a particularly muscular body, nor is it one of increased sun protection, but drooling (out of all orifices) begins instantaneously upon glancing at this impressive set of tats. Black bikers make me…well…uh…ohhh… uh, and uh, if paired with a good skin and shape, this dude will never pay for sex again.
So here you have a small but potent army of skins and shapes to cover your sinewy noob body, although finding these out of the sea of SL normalcy was like pulling a baby’s first tooth- painful yet surprisingly satisfying. Developers- Black men need love too, and not ghetto love; can you look inside your prejudiced hearts and create content for those of all races and cultures? Not to get political, but it’s a damn shame that even in the virtual world there are clearly defined racial stereotypes.
Anyway, it’s off to the sands for me, in hopes that I’ve just created the perfect SL man. I’ll be sitting butt naked on a PG beach, awaiting my Million Dollar Man.
Thal
Aug 8th, 2007
I hope your computer chair has a drain plug.
Nimrod Yaffle
Aug 8th, 2007
Anon writer.. I sure hope it wasn’t Walker!
Able
Aug 8th, 2007
Ok really now, what are you thinking with this article? please tell me. This has nothing to do with mens skins, ok first mens skin, million dollar skins sucks. second picture, the guy is selling a shape, with a stolen version of the naughty designs skin to the T. The third is not a skin, its a tattoo. the skin is once again a naughty designs skin. And none of them are black. Might be time to do some research then just write something that you have no clue on what your talking about. Damn I want the minute back i spent reading this waste of time
Myrrh Massiel
Aug 8th, 2007
…i thought we were going to see some well-done black skins, which are sadly a rarity in SL, but these images take quite a stretch of the imagination to interpret as such…
Artemis Fate
Aug 9th, 2007
Soo… basically, we have a long article with extraneous descriptions of how the author is turned on by this stuff, paired with a mediocre skin, then a stolen Naughty Designs skin with a shitty shape set (also ironically, since the author seems so against the gangsta stereotype, the person who made that shape also makes “Gangsta AO” and has a Thug lyfe laptop for sale), and a tattoo set. And none of the skins are even black.
Bravo.
Observer
Aug 9th, 2007
What the hell?
Allana Dion
Aug 9th, 2007
>”right down to the large patch of foreskin covering your naughty bits”
I think you might want to look up the word foreskin.
Mickie Ambassador
Aug 9th, 2007
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS READ THIS ARTICLE…
I’m the avie who was pictured in the 3rd part of the article, in the Sweating Ink tattoo ad. Aaliyah Munro in NO WAY asked permission to use my name or use my picture in this article. It truly amazes me that people can get away with just writing whatever they want like this. “this dude will never pay for sex again” … imagine having your wife read that, really. I just wanted to reply to this and let people know that this lady is ripping picture off of SLexchange and dropping names with false information and a truly twisted choice of wording. I’ve asked that this article be REMOVED IMMEDIATELY.
Mischief Parvenu
Aug 9th, 2007
wow, seems you have some serious issues if you need SL to “do it for you”. secondly i think it rather sad you take it upon yourself to do as you wish with other people’s names and pictures without even confronting them nor asking their permission to use. thirdly, i will agree with you on one thing, the dude never does hafta pay for sex, considering he’s my rl as well sl.
Day Oh
Aug 9th, 2007
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….. it’s a trap?
Chav Paderborn
Aug 9th, 2007
Arg, triangular torsos! Scary photosourced skin! This “does it” for you?
Uh Huh
Aug 9th, 2007
What was that grade you got on that research paper? I can’t believe it was high given how you discuss race in this article. How awful for both you and the Herald…
Imajin Brentano
Aug 9th, 2007
Now this article did not represent any of what it said it would. There are good skins out there for the brothaz, yes hard to find but they are out there. Apparently the researcher didn’t do her homework very well. This was mostly about her lust and not about the problem. The men in my family are dark skinned avis and they are sexy as hell if I do say so myself. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I like my chocolate just like the next sista do. So next time u decide to tackle this subject please do the research and talk to the and sistas before you write. Kudos for tackling the subject, you just touched on something that will spark interest and comments galore.
Dontae Marquez
Aug 9th, 2007
dahell???
Anonymous
Aug 9th, 2007
Wow, I’m shocked that the PN have yet to jump in on this one.
Also, in all honesty, having a black AV tends to get you banned real quick because of the aformentioned group, I tried it once, went into a sim and they called me a PN griefer. got banned before I even said anything.
shockwave yareach
Aug 9th, 2007
Aside from the fact that only one of these skins is black, is there any particular reason you are fixated on the color of the AVs skin to get you off? White, black, green with tentacles – shape and color mean nothing in this dreamland we call SL. Someone with the buffest black bod may not know how to roleplay his way out of a paper sack while some averagelooking guy may be able to write actions and prose that’ll make your player moan some 3 hours later. If it’s a good bit of cybering you are after, remember that the bookjacket doesn’t make the book.
Open your mind to other possiblities and you might find better than you seek.
Morgana Fillion
Aug 9th, 2007
The anonymous author of this post (Tenshi – isn’t this ‘fashion’ post your beat?) has clearly never actually met a black male in RL. Or, given the foreskin comment, any male at all.
Herald… this new direction of yours is getting lamer by the day.
Loloz Oh
Aug 9th, 2007
The PN have a monopoly on the hawt chocolate rain skins.
I’ve even seen some sexy Tay Zonday renditions.
All in all, this article is retarded.
Ananda
Aug 9th, 2007
If you are really shopping for the warrior look, you *have* to check out Chip Midnight’s skins (CMFF) in Freelon. He’s got some with real character.
moses
Aug 9th, 2007
is this the second life herald version of open registration ? just let any idiot with a key board write a article ?
Brent C
Aug 9th, 2007
The Kappa Skin you posted is by Lost from Naughty Island, that is a stolen skin.
jumpman lane
Aug 9th, 2007
this shit wont nothin but filler!
mootykips
Aug 9th, 2007
“Also, in all honesty, having a black AV tends to get you banned real quick because of the aformentioned group, I tried it once, went into a sim and they called me a PN griefer. got banned before I even said anything.”
Yeah, we told you everyone was racist and you didn’t believe us.
Aaliyah Munro
Aug 9th, 2007
Hi Everyone!!!
You guys and gals are awesome- I mean it. Keep the comments coming, and thanks for your useless, empty opinions! Try adding insight on the topic next time, instead of picking apart the article itself. Point was that a black male would have a hell of a time trying to find a black skin, and you all danced around the topic like ballerinas. Have some balls and stop acting like race isn’t an issue in SL- discrimination is rampant, and applies to every “race” that is not white. Get off your fucking high horses and speak your mind- hell, if you have such a problem with the article and how its written, write a damn article yourself! Thanks for reading, btw!!! ;o)
As for my horny rantings- I like sex and love to write about it. I was a sex advice columnist in college, and thought that, based upon the amount of sex prevalent in the game, your obviously horny or sex-deprived asses would appreciate it. Doesn’t mean I am going to stop what I’m doing, but its good to hear what you think- constructive critism is the best, when its actually useful!
Anyway, thanks for ranting on my article- you got to get name out there, leave an insignificant fingerprint, and let your voice be heard amongst your bitchy peers. From this comment on, instead of wasting your legacy picking apart my comment, leave one telling me what you’d like to read, as it relates to SL love, sex, and relationships. Oh, and try to stay away from the real life comments, because if you really were as together as your comments suggest, you wouldn’t be at some shitty office, pushing papers for someone else, and sneaking a peek at the SL Herald in between fetching coffee and picking your nose.
Thanks for reading!!! Heart you all, and thanks for your, uh, kind words.
-Aaliyah
PS- I’m a black woman in RL, who knows how black skins should look, and what foreskin is, smarty pants. Try looking at the literal meaning, and go fuck yourself for making that dumb ass comment. ;o) I didn’t know the second skin was stolen- sorry if that offended you, but I told you where I found it. Go after them, not me, and stop whining. Research- yes, I did it, along with a SL black folk Q&A, and as I mentioned there are not a lot to be found. If you have some suggestions, send me an IM in-world (Aaliyah Munro), and I’ll revise the article, if I feel like it. Oh- one last thing…that griefer comment was bullshit, and fuck you for saying it. I am proud to be black in all worlds, and if my selection of skin tone makes me a griefer in SL, then what the hell does it make me in RL? Oh yeah- a pickaninny Aunt Jemima whose only purpose is to produce “gangastas” to add to the welfare system. Wake the hell up and watch your mouths around this one, you fucking drones.
Thal
Aug 9th, 2007
“Try adding insight on the topic next time, instead of picking apart the article itself.”
Adding insight to this topic would be like pissing on turds to try and make them smell better.
Morgana Fillion
Aug 9th, 2007
Oh Herald… you do know how to pick them, don’t you.
Aaliyah… looking at the ‘literal’ meaning…. those are neither ‘literally’ or virtually black skins. If you want to do an article on black skins, research until you find some black skins. Someone above suggested Chip Midnight. Proceed from there.
And the literal meaning of foreskin involves the end of a penis, which literally does not come on an SL skin of any sort. That ‘large patch of foreskin’…ain’t foreskin. Literally.
That you seem to not know that makes me wonder what sort of sex advice you might have to offer, but I’m sure it will be entertaining as hell, so carry on!
Welcome to the Herald. You’re adorable.
DaveOner
Aug 9th, 2007
SLH would be much better if they stopped putting on all this quasi-fashion/sexy bullshit on their page. That’s what the Metaverse Messenger is for; empty “articles” akin to Entertainment Tonight and Star Magazine.
Doxx
Aug 9th, 2007
Funny, the third picture you posted the owner of the picture claims you had no permission to Post it, yet you still have it there. Second your not a writer, you did do no research. because if you did. You would have found alot of good black skins out there in the terms you claimed looking for. To name a few theres Naughty designs that has an actual good black skin, then theres made man. A ton others with decent skins. Heres a idea, get off the computer. go back to the college you claim you wrote at, take a couple journalism stories. Quit using stolen pictures that you didn’t get permission from the owner to use. Unless your actually tryin to get the herald or yourself in trouble. IMO. A monkey with drinking problem could have written a better piece.
Cracks the hell up
Aug 9th, 2007
Wow and all that cussin u still did not address the issue, and u say u a sista? ROFL girl please get a grip as well as an SL Rockwell Maltz is a black man makin skins for men of color i dont know what planet u fell off of but u need to crawl back on it beggin em to take u back! Kudos again to all the ones that had the big furry balls to speak and as for what u had to say girlfriend they should have never let u write haha now hug ma big nut sack for coming back to make anotha comment woohooo!!!
Observer
Aug 10th, 2007
Aaliyah, go back to the third grade. This article was awful. Herald, are you listening?
shockwave yareach
Aug 10th, 2007
You’re a black woman in RL? So you gotta have a black brother in SL? You know, if I said I was a hispanic and only a Latina would do it for me in the game, you’d probably call me a racist. How is this any different? You’ve got all of infinity to chose from in VR – trying to replicate RL in the game shows a lack of creativity and unwillingness to try new things.
To dampen that sex drive a wee bit and prevent the staff from having to break out the mop and bucket, what makes you think that black AV in SL you are dripping over has a black player in RL? Hmm? *taps fingers* Take your time; it’s a fundamental question. Incidently, my AV is black in SL. Am I black in RL? Hey, if I wanted folks to see my bod, I’d be in Yahoo chatrooms instead of SL.
Oh, and I can’t imagine your cumming on the text here as being acceptable in any college newspaper anywhere in the country. I also don’t see that you said anything in your article except “I like black!” Hardly a comment about the difficulty about finding said skins, and not a discussion about sex either. If you want to be edgy with your stories, then be prepared for some edgy in the comments. We can and DO talk back with opinions of our own. My opinion, thus, is that you didn’t do a search for skins and go to the first 20 to see how many of them had black skins. So your research is poor and your conclusions invalid. A few points for attempt at style, but nothing for substance.
Morgana Fillion
Aug 10th, 2007
My thought is that if she actually found twenty decent-looking black skin options, she might have bothered to show, oh… one of them?
Or how about all 20 – I can’t think of 20 decent-looking white male skin options. For that matter, I can’t think of 20 GOOD white female options.
So how about a list, and make this article something useful?