Memory Stick
by Alphaville Herald on 12/09/07 at 10:32 pm
by Kris Dibou, warrior poet/pirate
I keep my love in a memory stick I hang about my neck
I plug her in to my PC and begin to hunt and peck
‘Til she appears on my LCD full of life and charm
And reaches out to take a hold of my digital arm
Then off we fly where adventure lies beyond my keyboard, clicking
We change the colors of the skies and the fog there that is thickening
‘Til at last we land were we began and type our sad farewell
And I put my love about my neck while she sleeps in memory cells.
copyright (c) 2007 – Kris Dibou – used by the gracious permission of the author.
Angel
Sep 12th, 2007
Huh?
Sn4x15
Sep 13th, 2007
ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
SHIT IS BROWN
AND I HATE YOU
Observer
Sep 13th, 2007
Please never post again.
Heihachi Nakamichi
Sep 13th, 2007
*sits motionless for a moment, then punches his monitor*
FlipperPA Peregrine
Sep 13th, 2007
Wow, first time in a while I’ve been speechless.
Zetaphor Tengu
Sep 13th, 2007
WEWT! My first first post! Heh
Anywho, thats a pretty cool little poem. Its to bad nobody has hacked up a “portable” version of SL, that we could just throw on a thumb drive. Although I guess SLeek is the next best thing…
Tangled Myth
Sep 13th, 2007
If you loose the memory stick, and get another…
Would that be cheating?
DD Ra
Sep 13th, 2007
Excellent poetry… quite surprising to read that in the SL Herald, and seeing the previous comments, some of your reader deeply need more poetry…
Thanks Kris!
^_^
Candy Lemmon
Sep 13th, 2007
This is not poetry.
The meter is inconsistent, the subject is uninspiring AND often confusing (since when are computer-parts necklaces?) and it’s just not any good.
pixeleen mistral
Sep 13th, 2007
> since when are computer parts necklaces?
I’ve had my eye on these rhinestone memory stick necklaces from Japan for a while:
http://www.kilian-nakamura.com/blog-english/index.php/swarovski-rhinestone-usb-memory-stick-2gb-1gb-512mb-solid-alliance-estlat/
Candy Lemmon
Sep 13th, 2007
Pixeleen–
I sit corrected. Computer-parts are jewelry after all.
(But the “poem” still really sucks.)
Xena
Sep 13th, 2007
Dear Kris,
Once again you touch my heart with the deapth of your poetry.
I have found that the accusers of this writing only prove
that they do not know poetry rules. You deffinately do.
I keep looking for more of your postings.
And thank you SL for this wonderful discovery.
B
Sep 13th, 2007
That is awful. You couldn’t even spell “where” correctly (“were,” line 7). Who thought it was a good idea to print this piffle?
sweety Tsure
Sep 13th, 2007
Fantstic as usual if the people that left the bad comments knew anything about poetry they would know this is great as usual.
SqueezeOne Pow
Sep 13th, 2007
“Who thought it was a good idea to print this piffle?”
Probably the same person that cleared a comment full of racist comments in the “SL is Indefensible” comments section.
Quality stuff.
Kris Dibou
Sep 13th, 2007
Well….
I’m not in the habit of commenting on my works that have been published here; however, things appear to be getting out of hand…so….
1. The jewelry: This is, in fact, a memory stick that hangs around my neck. I keep it under my shirt for the most part. It is a 2 gig memory stick with the U3 operating system on it and a full version of SL that I can run on almost any Windows XP computer.
2. ‘Were’ instead of ‘where’ is a typo.
3. The meter is iambic septameter with a wee bit of ‘poetic license’; i.e., monotone word groupings such as ‘on my’, ’til I’ and ‘and I’ are treated as one syllable when counting. I could have said ‘thick’ning’ instead of ‘thickening’…but the extra syllable gives it a ‘thickening’ effect.
4. The 1st 4 lines symbolize the speaker in his anticipation as he tries to get into SL through the slow loading process, then at last taking his avatar form as he meets with his love. The last four lines indicate the speaker’s mind seemingly entering his avatar, drifting away from the man at the keyboard and becoming one with the avatar within the scenario. The two avatars set the world to sunset and the colors change through the particle generated fog. Now notice the change of tone in the last 2 lines; before they log off she announces that she has fallen in love with another, leaving him with images saved to his memory stick and etched in his mind, symoblized by ‘memory cells’.
5. Finally, the poem is very short, symbolizing what appears to be the average life of relatonships within SL.
-the author
Second Lulz Vigilante
Sep 13th, 2007
Second Life is a fit subject for poetry only when the poem is a dirty limerick.
Candy Lemmon
Sep 13th, 2007
The fact that you had to explain your intentions only proves you didn’t express yourself well in the first place.
I don’t know what you meant by “monotone”, but the word means a vocal pitch or tone without variation… something which isn’t exactly appicable in written text. Poetry doesn’t have to conform to any meter, iambic or otherwise, but if you are going to claim it does it really ought to – and the words “on my” and “and I” will never equal one syllable.
The rest of your explanations – it’s short because SL relationships are, the story about the girl saying she’s found someone else right before log-off, they’re just not represented by the text. “Sad farewell” could mean any number of things, including just goodbye for the night. Honestly, understanding the background behind a poem has nothing to do with whether or not it’s any good… and it really isn’t.
I admit I sound mean, but I’m quite sick of crappy rhyming imitation poetry, and this post is all of the above.
Angel
Sep 13th, 2007
/me read what Kris says
Oh.
Now I see. Pity that wasn’t clear on the first read.
dannyboy lightfoot
Sep 13th, 2007
art is all about opinions, and little to do with objectivity. this is especially true of poetry.
i am of the opinion that this poem is objectively awful.
Jim Schack
Sep 13th, 2007
An hero.
Consider it.
like_ummm
Sep 13th, 2007
i keep my love on an HDD
she’s always plugged in and sometimes turned on
her sleaze and sexual promiscuity
are not suited to romantic poetry
Second Lulz Vigilante
Sep 13th, 2007
@like_ummm
Not quite a limerick but it definitely fits, so I sort of stand corrected.
R7 Rotaru
Sep 13th, 2007
I can identify with the authors sentiments in his poem, very touching to see another care and enjoy his relationship with another soul, so much so that he carries her close to his heart at all times.
As with most deep feelings in rl and in sl, its the tiny things we put our emotions into to symbolise our journey with others, like a ring or a locket.
The idea of the memory stick where his love resides,
to me is beautiful.
like_ummm
Sep 13th, 2007
i keep my love on a 3.5 inch floppy
i do not insert her into my PC
because it does not have a floppy drive
my floppy finds no expression
without insertion
shockwave yareach
Sep 14th, 2007
I am a Linux user.
My cash is where I count it.
My love is in a memory stick
so now and then I mount it.
DJ Cure
Sep 14th, 2007
Cool Poem.
Here’s some thoughts of mine to come out of reading this if you’re interested.
http://www.rezyourmind.com/2007/09/beyond-memory-stick.html
DaveOner
Sep 14th, 2007
Here’s some…
The internet rules
I can pretend to have sex
And not call her back
My girl and I fight
So I turn off the machine
Enjoy the silence
Maybe now’s the time
For you to meet real girls
At least try some bars
It is truly sad
When we substitute people
For technology
I know that I’m mean
But my computer left me
So I’m projecting
…Haiku bitches!
Ghengis_Khunt
Sep 19th, 2007
omg… go read real poetry. this is fucking bullshit.
if you are pathetic enough to be inspired to wax poetic about SL, then you really, REALLY, need to turn off the computer and go shoot yourself in the fucking face.
Joe
Sep 20th, 2007
Who has a pathetic enough life to write a ‘poem’
about a f**king memory stick?
Oh wait, you do.
urizenus
Sep 20th, 2007
“Who has a pathetic enough life to write a ‘poem’ about a f**king memory stick?”
I suppose anyone who has a pathetic enough life to write unsolicited reviews of poems about memory sticks. Oh wait, you wrote the review in the comment section of a blog! so you must be cool after all.
At0m0 Beerbaum
Sep 20th, 2007
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My penis is huge,
It touches my shoe.
Seriously, why is this news?