Modern Griefer-Mega-Troll Wins First Commie Award

by Alphaville Herald on 21/10/07 at 9:08 pm

A note from the Editrix:
This week, we launch a new feature of the Herald: the soon-to-be-coveted “Comment of the week” award. The award – affectionately known as the “Commie” – is a hallowed tradition unlike any other. Already over 5 minutes old, this award is the Herald editorial staff’s recognition of the reader that best exemplifies all that makes the our shared world great – an informed, engaged citizenry exercising their right to robust discourse — between those special private times on Stroker Serpentine’s interactive furniture. Assuming our readers rise to the challenge, we’ll make this a weekly award. And so, without further ado, we give you this week’s Commie award winner – “

In short, in matters lulzy, about your anti-grief patrol
He is the very model of a modern Griefer-Mega-Troll!

I know our mythic history, Prok Nevas’s and Sir Plastic’s
I make malicious scripts, I’ve a grid-crasher so fantastic
I underwater-basket-weave all the crimes of Ms.Tizzy,
In short I keep those lindens pretty goddamned busy!

I can tell undoubted trolls from geniune, clueless noobs,
I know the best way to make money is to sell a ton of sculpted boobs,
then send it out to paypal an blow it on the orange box for sure,
whilst my brothers all run out and crash some place of Prok’s once more!

whilst my brothers all run out and crash some place of Prok’s once more!
whilst my brothers all run out and crash some place of Prok’s once more!
whilst my brothers all run out and crash some place of Provokeyprok’s once more!

Then I can write a silly song in ripped-off rhymes and metaphors,
whilst I browse /b/ and sage some motherfucking ugly camera whores,
In short, in matters lulzy, about your anti-grief patrol
I am the very model of a modern Griefer-Mega-Troll

In short, in matters lulzy, about your anti-grief patrol
He is the very model of a modern Griefer-Mega-Troll

In fact, when I know what is meant by “choppaman” and “SFF”
When I can tell at sight a lagfest from a GGF,
When such affairs as IP-bans and proxies I’m more wary at
And when I can MAC-spoof at tipping of a hat

When I have learnt what progress has been made in funny gunnery
When I know more of grid nodes than a blonde trap from a nunnery
In short, when I’ve a smattering of sim-crashing technology,
You’ll say a better Griefer-Mega-Troll had never shot at thee

You’ll say a better Griefer-Mega-Troll had never shot at thee
You’ll say a better Griefer-Mega-Troll had never shot at thee
You’ll say a Griefer-Mega-Troll had never shot at shot at thee

For my griefing knowledge, though I’m plucky and eager,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the yesteryear
But still, in matters lulzy, about your anti-grief patrol
I am the very model of a modern Griefer-Mega-Troll

But still, in matters lulzy, about your anti-grief patrol
He is the very model of a modern Griefer-Mega-Troll

16 Responses to “Modern Griefer-Mega-Troll Wins First Commie Award”

  1. Tizzers Foxchase

    Oct 21st, 2007

    Written with the lyrical finesse and eloquence of the masters. Oh Anonymous, I how I love thee. <3

    Also~ *drumroll*

    Woodbury is back! Our campus is located in the sim of Ravenglass. Feel free to join our new open-enrollment group “Ravenglass Rentals” and start posting things up! Please IM Random Unsung for the new /b/ toolbox.

  2. Tenshi Vielle

    Oct 21st, 2007

    ROTFL!! Twice, especially @ Tizzers! Tizzers is my new favorite commenter.

  3. Why Bother

    Oct 22nd, 2007

    Once again the Herald taps the PN and the /b/tard sh*theads bring in traffic.

    Good job Herald. You prove your BLOG is just trash.

  4. Nacon

    Oct 22nd, 2007

    Hahahahaha… nice, thinking about web traffic so they can make more money by adding more advertising banners all over the SL Herald.

    (Haven’t I said that you guys are still an idiot yet?… Keep up the good work, idiots.)

  5. greta garbo

    Oct 22nd, 2007

    this is fucking lame actually i think its time i stopped reading the herald ive had enough goodbye

  6. Alyx Stoklitsky

    Oct 22nd, 2007

    I love you too, Tizzers <3

  7. Heartun Breaker

    Oct 22nd, 2007

    I LOVE it! Great doggerel and great new feature for the Herald.

  8. DONG MASTER

    Oct 23rd, 2007

    I lol’d

  9. Prok Lover

    Oct 23rd, 2007

    Aw Tizzers, I did as you suggested, but I was summarily ejected from the group and my rental money confiscated and B& from the L&. I guess Prok don’ wan’ no residents to pay her space monies.

  10. Anonymous

    Oct 23rd, 2007

    The more you sling griefer, /b/tard, and PN crap articles, the more and more I hope your new advertising push fails because of your support of this idiots and the Herald tanks. It’s about time this cruddy little blog fails hard.

  11. Alyx Stoklitsky

    Oct 23rd, 2007

    “The more you sling griefer, /b/tard, and PN crap articles, the more and more I hope your new advertising push fails because of your support of this idiots and the Herald tanks. It’s about time this cruddy little blog fails hard.”

    I find it ironic that you posted under the name “Anonymous”

  12. Anonymous

    Oct 23rd, 2007

    “I find it ironic that you posted under the name “Anonymous”"

    Oh, like you chantards have a copyright on the word “anonymous”? Just because you idiots use it all the time doesn’t mean others can’t.

  13. Alyx Stoklitsky

    Oct 24th, 2007

    “Oh, like you chantards have a copyright on the word “anonymous”? ”

    I said I found it ironic, not that ‘we’ had a ‘copyright’ on it. If I wanted to make a legitimate criticism it would be about you lacking the balls to post under a proper SL name.

  14. Harlequin Salome

    Oct 24th, 2007

    … the herald just basically ensured I never read it again. I never thought I’d actually miss Prok.

  15. Renark Beck

    Oct 24th, 2007

    Actually, that’s pretty hilarious… I’ve always been a fan of the “Major General” song ever since Geordi sung it on Next Gen… and I must admit I’m actually damn impressed that A: a griefer knows this song, and B: that they would take time away from causing grid-wide havoc to write this tune down for all to enjoy…. but hey, I guess being a griefer doesn’t mean you don’t have any class…

  16. Harle Whore

    Oct 24th, 2007

    Harle, like Alliance Navy can read, they certainly can’t read covenant rules, or simply think they are exempt, its Time for you to Emit your just a griefer in unform, The Very Model of a Mega-Griefer-Troll.

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