The Strange Case of Teddy29

by Alphaville Herald on 11/10/07 at 7:22 am

by Kris Dibou, warrior poet/pirate


Across the sims of Second Life
A story has been told
Of Teddy29 Barthelmess,
(Jerry Matthew Gold).

How, in despair, a young girl there
Was thinking of the end
When Teddy29 sat by her side
And became her closest friend

From the pits of despair to SL, where
He showed her heaven, painted
With particle clouds and setting sun
That never will be tainted.

‘Twas only a week, but time flies fast
When living in the tech age
And one day Teddy did not come on
He left no note nor message

So she checked his profile groups
And found an online buddy
‘Have you seen Teddy29? ‘
(Her message he did study.)

‘Twas a month ago today, I say
When last we heard from Teddy
His mother came online that day
In Teddy’s stead, and heavy

Hearted was she to announce
To all that Teddy knew
Young Jerry Gold has passed away
And considered all of you

His only friends and wished you well
In all your SL dealings
And if heaven’s there, I know you’ll hear
Avatar angels singing.’


copyright (c) 2007 – Kris Dibou – used by the gracious permission of the author.

11 Responses to “The Strange Case of Teddy29”

  1. Jim Schack

    Oct 11th, 2007

    *facepalm*

  2. DaveOner

    Oct 11th, 2007

    Stuff like this and the “LL kicked me out of the mentor group” fake articles makes me almost wish Prock WOULD come back…but with a “500 words or less” written into her contract…and an assistant to check her facts. That would probably make the articles 25 words or less, though!

  3. Angel

    Oct 11th, 2007

    There once was a man from Caracas
    Who found himself in quite a fracas
    So many punches he took
    That his head now when shook
    Rattles like a pair of maracas

  4. Anonymous

    Oct 11th, 2007

    Prompted by the fact the last couple articles have been either about dead people or poems, I have taken the liberty of releasing the secret C++ algorithm the SLH uses to write articles.

    #include
    #include
    using namespace std;

    int main()
    {
    string articleCharacteristic[2];
    articleCharacteristic[0] = “dead people”
    articleCharacteristic[1] = “poems”

    new article;
    int currentchar = 0;
    article.data = currentArticle();
    article.next = writeHeraldArticle();
    // if this next line fails, the only people reading the SLH are the PN or nobody is reading
    while (peopleStillReading())
    {
    // try enticing readership with stories about “dead people” and “poems”)
    if (terribleArticle(article.data)) && currentchar > 1)
    article.next->article.data = (terribleArticle + articleCharacteristic[currentchar]);
    else
    // didn’t work, so blend “dead people” with “poem” and append to article
    article.next->article.data = terribleArticle + articleCharacteristic[0] + articleCharacteristic[1];
    }
    return 0;
    }

  5. Angel

    Oct 11th, 2007

    Ooo. I just realised that Teddy29′s account was haxx0red by his Mom. He has obviously broken TOS by sharing his password so should be ARed, possibly permabanned.

  6. Angel

    Oct 11th, 2007

    Bukkake Stories…
    In an attempt for readers,
    pale in light of death.

  7. like_ummm

    Oct 12th, 2007

    From the pits of heaven’s taint
    He showed her
    painted particle cloud despair
    He is now setting the sun

  8. dfgdfgdfgdfg

    Oct 12th, 2007

    If I was a ghost the f**king LAST thing i would do is come back and log into my old secondlife account.

    But, I get it, its a SL ghost story for halloween, good work, I like it :)

  9. Kahni Poitier

    Oct 12th, 2007

    I liked it. I thought it was sweet.

  10. Azzu Manga

    Oct 12th, 2007

    There was once a paper worth reading
    Now it sucks, its viewers fleeing
    Post 6 girls and stupid poems
    No real news has it shown
    Dare I say, bring back Prok?
    I’d rather read her load of crock
    Farewell Herald, Farewell friend
    This lame crap, will be your end.

  11. Angel

    Oct 14th, 2007

    You know why it’s called the ‘taint’ ?

Leave a Reply