Second Life Republican Latex Fetishists Issue Presidential Challenge
by Alphaville Herald on 09/11/07 at 9:24 pm
Will GOP presidential candidates auto-asphyxiate for God and Country?
by Keiko Ketsugo, Herald Oriental Express bureau
DATELINE: Oriental Express, Second Life November 8, 2007:
Republican Latex Fetishists of Second Life today challenged the GOP Presidential Candidates to auto asphyxiate for God and Country. Encouraged by the example of former Jerry Falwell colleague and Liberty University Graduate Reverend Gary Aldridge to become a more visible wing of the Republican party – the RLFSL decided unanimously to put their support “firmly” behind the candidate who deserves the group’s backing.
Spokesperson Yung Kakapo said, “As we honor the memory of Pastor Aldrige who was Pro-Life, supported the War in Iraq and promoted the principals of Intelligent Design and trickle down economics while enjoying the erotic pleasures that can only be achieved with tightly fitting latex garments – we feel we must honor our hero – an unfortunate victim of accidental mechanical asphyxia.”
Despite earlier claims of possible foul play, Pastor Aldrige’s tragic death was ruled accidental. Aldridge was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report.
Kakapo says, “We challenge the candidates to come up with their own Second Life avatar and come asphyxiate with us.”
Kakapo continues, “We’re tolerant people, we’re not asking for RL asphyxiation necessarily – but we need some sort of sign of their alignment with RLFSL values.”
RLFSL – a legitimate lifestyle choice
In an effort to raise funds for the GOP campaign coffers – the RLFSL is offering a custom designed t-shirt, Republican latex garments, and a Ronald Reagan Dildo – with a portion of the proceeds going to to a public service effort to raise awareness surrounding safety guidelines for mechanical asphyxia.
RLFSL Safety Officer Keiko Ketsugo said, “We endorse immigration restrictions, the Death Penalty and new safety standards for auto erotic asphyxiation – which we believe is a legitimate lifestyle choice. Kakapo continued, “Remember when it comes to to breathing holes – None and you’re done. Two – you’ll pull through.”
For more information contact: keikoketsugo@aol.com.
Vint
Nov 10th, 2007
Love the republican latex fetishists, second life logo. :d
Obscure Doodad
Nov 10th, 2007
Heard about this Aldridge guy. There is some considerable speculation that the local police were paid off to drop the investigation, which they did despite the utterly obvious questions about how anyone can hogtie themselves and bind their own hands behind their back — whilst wearing diving gloves.
Sort of like declaring 3 gunshots to the head a suicide.
This SL group needs a new gimmick. This one isn’t going to fly very far.
marilyn murphy
Nov 10th, 2007
i also wondered how he managed to have this accident with his hands bound behind his back. normally, when one has their hands and feet bound, it sort of limits how many accidents you can have.
the republicans have this very strange stuff happening quite a bit lately. wide stance? i sort of put it down to self reppression and then it bursts out in more bizarre behavior than most people who are not so up tight about sexuality would practice.
Maria Leveaux
Nov 10th, 2007
~Will comment Later, still laughing so hard i can’t see the screen properly~
Maria.
Rape-Ape
Nov 10th, 2007
This looks like an attempt at e-revenge over the blogs4brownback shit.
Sick of Left Wing Hate
Nov 11th, 2007
I find it notable that the left wing revels so in others’ failure to meet the standards they set for themselves, merely because they DO set standards. Yet another example of a movement devoid of any ideas, waiting impatiently for the next terrible occurrence to befall a hated Republican or Christian so that they may lose themselves once more in a fugue of schadenfreude and conveniently ignore the fact that they have defined themselves by what (and whom) they are against. I am very sorry to hear of Pastor Aldridge’s passing, and sorrier yet to see you try to make it a political issue. It’s mean spirited, pathetic, and typical of left wing politics. I guess to you that means it’s entertainment.
Pat Robertson
Nov 11th, 2007
I can’t agree with ‘sick of left-wing hate’ more. It comes to something when a god-fearing man can’t die in peace in his own home. These ‘trendy’ stunts in SL make me sick. Why doesn’t SL make itself useful for a change and use all the CSI: NY skills everyone has now learnt to find out what really happened to brother Aldridge. Nobody can wriggle into a latex suit shove a dildo into their anus and tie their own hands and feet behind their back. It seems more likely he was killed as part of a left-wing conspiracy – lets get those guys from CSI: NY on the job fast – Electric Sheep where are you when justice REALLY needs to be done.
DireLobo
Nov 12th, 2007
I find it notable that the left wing revels so in others’ failure to meet the standards they set for themselves, merely because they DO set standards.
What nonsense – you are conveniently ignoring the FACT that these people DESERVE TO BE RIDICULED FOR BEING HYPOCRITS. The Ted Haggards and Larry Craigs of the world are not just failing to meet standards they set for themselves, they are failing to meet standards which they IMPOSE on others.
It has been observed by research psychologists that the self-loating that comes with this failure – this self-knowledge that you have FAILED to meet your standards – is what causes authoratarian behaviour and intolerance to others.
I don’t give a rat’s ass how many wetsuits he wore of who Larry Craig was screwing in a men’s bathroom at an airport – but when people stand up and proclaim that THEY KNOW the true will of god and that they will FORCE the rest of us to live according to their rules and then they BREAK THOSE RULES they deserve to be called out for it and shown as little mercy as they showed when their political opponents make mistakes – as Larry Craig said about Clinton, “… nasty, bad, naughty boy”… No STFU and go home already.
Radio Left
Nov 12th, 2007
Republican Latex Fetishists Issue Presidential Challenge
Jesus’ General
Who’ll be first, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, or Mike Huckabee?From the Second Life Herald:
marilyn murphy
Nov 14th, 2007
direlobo is correct. its not a personal thing at all. these are public figures who point the finger of shame at others. newt gingrich leads the charge to impeach clinton over a blow job, while screwing his secretary behind his wifes back. he states later after all this comes out, that he was doing what was best for USA. “sigh.”
no, he just thought he could get away with it. the hypocrisy is what makes people angry and criticize these people. its not far left folk who get angry, its centrist types. the far left stays angry no matter what, just like the far right. its a shame the polar viewpoints do so much of the debating and media grabbing, when 80% or more of america is centrist.
Intangible
Nov 14th, 2007
I was asked to appear in that photo shoot by a friend – no clues as to what I was letting myself in for. I turned up, took one look at the outfit I was handed to wear… and just poofed off, groaning. Good luck guys….
Sean
Nov 14th, 2007
This crazy business about, as George Carlin put it, an invisible man living in the sky, with a list of ten things he does not want us to do, and if we do one of those things, he will send us to suffer in a burning horror of torture and pain and suffering for eternity… but he loves us. Four the ten commandments are completely egomanical — don’t worship any god but me!!! Don’t murder is right up there with don’t take the lord’s name in vain. And then, as Carlin points out, this great omniscient, omnipotent ruler of the universe, a deity who can end the universe with the snap of a finger, who created it and directs each and ever aspect of it for eternity, HE NEEDS MONEY!!! While he’s good at creating universes and planets and watching everyone and everything every minute of every day, money just slips through his fingers! He needs more money!!!
It seems to me that the Church was the precursor to the National Association of Realtors, or perhaps the insurance industry. It was an institution that found a way of convincing people that they absolutely needed it even though a rational assessment would suggest not.
The difference is that modern institutions that have carved a niche for themselves convincing people that they simply can’t get through certain parts of their life without them (the attorney who writes a will/trust, the real estate agent, insurance agent, 401K plan administrator, etc.) — these modern institutions don’t habitually screw kids as a perk. They only take our money. That was the promise of the enlightenment. You’d get screwed by working all day and having your money swindled from you. But you would no longer get literally screwed. The Catholic Church has to come into the 21st Century and focus on the money.