Jimbo “Hair” Quality and the *Lash All-Niter* Hair Story

by Alphaville Herald on 31/03/08 at 10:14 pm

How Bub Linden got free prim hair for the noobies

by Jimbo Quality

In fifty or sixty years, when the people living now are either dead or too daft to argue, historians will start chewing on this time period and work it up into a nice smooth bolus for mankind to digest. Whatever conclusions they draw, however, will be wrong, because one of the most important political developments of the year went unheralded. It also went un-Secondlifeheralded- that is, this paper didn’t record it.

I speak of course of the demise of my campaign for president of Second Life. The Herald sent representatives to my press conference, but nary a peep has been published. [Jimbo's press conference was held at the Herald Office, we were already there, and he mostly spent the time comparing butts with Tenshi, but Tenshi won - the Editrix]. Take a look, I announced the end of my campaign months ago, and in the time since the American economy has tanked, crops have failed and locusts and tornadoes have sprung up. The Herald’s much lauded political bureau missed the most important political story of the year, so I’ve come back to right a wrong.

Jimbo Quality walking the earth

I wandered the grid lo these many months, like that kick ass kung-fu guy in that show, only much tougher. In fact, I was thinking how much cooler I am than that guy, especially now that he’s selling telephone books. I mean telephone books, WTF? Who couldn’t sell them? They’re free.

Anyhow, the place where I am most cooler than the Kung Fu guy is in hair. I sport the legendary *Lash All-Niter* v.2 (for guys) and he clearly sports the Dill Rod.

Jimbo’s *Lash All-Niter* v.2 (for guys) and David Carradine wearing Dill Rod

So I got to thinking- no one has ever written a tribute to the hair that changed the world, the first prim hair to be handed out with an avie. The Herald missed the news story of the year, I would make sure it didn’t miss the invention of the decade.

I tracked down the owner of the *Lash All-Niter* v.2 (for guys), and it turns out that that was actually me, which was surprising to me because I don’t remember having anything to do with it. Anyhow, I started following the money trail from there and it leads straight to a lady named Lash Xevious who created the classic *Lash All-Niter* v.2 (for guys). She is, in my humble opinion, the hair goddess.

I asked her if she had been paid by the Lindens for the rights to her hair. She says no. I asked if we could take up a collection in gratitude. She replied, “and pocket it all for yourself? pfft”. Damn, the woman knows my reputation.

I asked how someone could be coerced out of artistic gold like the *Lash All-Niter* v.2 (for guys).

Lash Xevious: i blame bub linden
Jimbo Quality: how’d bub wrestle it away from you?
Lash Xevious: i was drunk, weak. he was bald, pale, and pushy. basically just asked me for some wigs. so i obliged. i was just flattered i was asked. who wouldn’t be.

Then I found out that lightning had struck twice.

Lash Xevious: i also have the beanie babe. i seriously should’ve rethought out these names …
Jimbo Quality: you did the beanie babe hair?
Lash Xevious: yes

I crapped my pants. This one genius woman had invented the two hairs that moved noobs forward into this century. I walked the earth telling people of this woman, I told Herald writer Jessica Holyoke about Lash. Jessica broke out her beanie babe hair in tribute. I may love her [Good lord, here we go again... - the Editrix]

Beanie babe hair

Jimbo Quality: got any more good quotes about your legacy or crap like that? no really. gimme something good, something that would get rocky ready to fight apollo
Lash Xevious: well, now you’ve put me on the friggin’ spot.
Jimbo Quality: that’s a good start
Jimbo Quality looks at the stopwatch, you’re not gonna be close to the russian
Lash Xevious: yeah, i got nothing dude.

And so as the sun set on another SL Day, I had made sure that an important contributor to SL History got her due. If I was Babe the pig, here’s where that old guy would say whatever it is he said. I can’t remember what it was, so I’ll just say

Jimbo Quality: you’re a great interview
Jimbo Quality: thanks
Jimbo Quality: np, peace

5 Responses to “Jimbo “Hair” Quality and the *Lash All-Niter* Hair Story”

  1. d3adlyc0d3c

    Mar 31st, 2008

    You rock, Jimbo. Your articles always put a smile on my face <3

  2. Maniko Manamiko

    Apr 1st, 2008

    that’ll do pig,that’ll do

  3. anon

    Apr 1st, 2008

    what codec said

  4. anonymous

    Apr 1st, 2008

    Hooray! Jimbo is back <3!

  5. Tenshi Vielle

    Apr 1st, 2008

    I WON! I WON!

    Missed you, Jimbo. Stay around this time, wouldja?

Leave a Reply