Op/Ed: I Hate It Here – Get Off My e-Lawn!
by Alphaville Herald on 02/03/08 at 8:18 am
by Splatter Gomorrah, reasonable resident
Today I went for a little walk on the mainland. I stumbledon large herds of new users fresh from their education, newbie skin shining inthe sunlight which glinted off their system hair as they tried to walk. Cleanand fresh-faced, they were; just like the Mormons who try to sell meWatchtowers on a weekly basis.
The new generation,I thought, I must reach out and impart mygreat knowledge about this new world.
“Hello, new users! I have been here for many years and can teachyou all about the amazing things you can do with Second Life. I will answer allof your questions and help you begin creative and fulfilling Second Lives!” Ithen began locating helpful notecards in my inventory.
My generous offer was greeted with five requests for sex,seven requests for money and three requests for information on where to getfree money. One of them simply drooled on my shoe.
Is this the future of Second Life? THIS? People who care only about quick cash and cyber-rutting? Havewe suddenly become a culture of lazy, drunken frat boys with one hand on ourdicks and the other held out for Daddy’s money?
I hate that this grid–with all its content created byindustrious users who wanted to make their visions a virtual reality–has becomepopulated by users who cheat, steal and cut each other off at the knees for achance to become a ‘success story’ in Second Life. Don’t believe me? Take alook around at the ad farms the ‘land barons’ have set up (and they’re still there). Thesuccess of Anshe Chung may be the downfall of us all, as her publicity bringsin every money-hungry asshat who can use a mouse.
Why, in a place where we can create and be anything, arethere more strip clubs than museums and everything feels as if I’m constantlyin SoCal?
Don’t even get me started on the content thievery. Clothingdesigners and primsmiths across the grid are constantly crying about devioususers who have manipulated an exploit to steal textures. Did I mention thatthis exploit could easily have been fixed by Linden Lab before it became aproblem? Yeah. So these godless couchfucks spend just as much time stealingwork from others that they could have just made something themselves. They thenproceed to sell this stolen stuff in seedy places for prices lower than theoriginal’s cost or amazing markups. Users who either don’t know better orjust want a deal buy it and support them. It’s a vicious cycle, and SecondLife has become a playground for idiotic, retarded children who’s stupiditywould have killed them before puberty were evolution truly in effect.
It all makes me sick. Now get off my lawn, you kids,before I shoot you in the face.
Anon
Mar 2nd, 2008
“idiotic, retarded children who’s stupidity would have killed them before puberty were evolution truly in effect”
You talkin residents or the staff and executives of Linden Research?
Eris
Mar 2nd, 2008
“Have we suddenly become a culture of lazy, drunken frat boys…?”
Nope, we were always that (some of us) and so it arrived in Second Life. If you want to see the future of SL look at the history of the web. SL will always be driven by some of the same factors that drove the web and porn/virtual sex and dreams of easy-money will be prime amongst them. The question isn’t how do we get rid of these elements, it’s how do we accommodate them, even exploit them to drive SL forward, while keeping the ‘good’ stuff too?
Maybe some kind of re-zoning will happen instead of the apparently random spew of M and PG sims that we have now? Certainly Linden MUST finally acknowledge the problems of content theft and do something about it – or wave goodbye to the creative people that made SL worthwhile in the first place. Theft should always be condemned but libido and greed are human traits that are difficult to avoid, even in SL.
Just Me
Mar 2nd, 2008
Many times I have tried to help noobs with offers of clothes, hair, skins and shapes .. and also to answer their questions. The responses of the majority have always been the same .. can you give me some money or how do I get money are # 1 , by far. Since I’m a guy, I don’t get the blatant sex requests (usually). But, this has always been the same, the majority of noobs are looking for sex or money. Most of them disappear quickly and the 10 percent or so who want more stick around … which makes it worthwhile for me to continue to try to help. That 10 percent is the core group that makes up our wonderful world of SL.
BTW, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again .. regardless of all the complaints here about noobs and griefing and ad farms and content theft, the majority of us in SL are going about our merry way, dancing, making friends, building stuff, selling in our little shops, etc. These huge issues that are being complained about here simply are non-existant for the majority of people in SL. In well over a year, I still have not experienced griefing, no one has stolen any of my creations, I’ve seen perhaps one “ad farm” , and so on . I really don’t know where you folks hang out .. there IS another “side of the tracks” where things are cleaner and nicer and brighter, folks … honest there is. Come on over, wipe that crap from your shoes and have a good time, like the majority of us are doing.
Darthblueafro
Mar 2nd, 2008
often i find myself waltzing the metaverse looking for something of extraordinary beauty. or at least a great amount of artistic quality that sexual favors being passed around like a “cigarette” in a prison.
( i was thinking of using a British term for cigarette . but lets not go with a bad joke gone worse.)
there are less and less places that are pleasing to the eye without giving you a hardon these days. and its usably because the only thing people can think with is there dicks. and its usaly newbies who are looking for it more then others.a part of me wants to go and take all the sex shops and such and build a entire grid area for them to keep the rest of the grid from being tainted with perversion.
JamesMichael Morane
Mar 2nd, 2008
SL has gotten some bad pub in rl because of news stories about people cheating on their rl spouses with sl people. So, a lot of new people, especially kids, come to SL thinking that it’s all about cybersex cuz it’s all they’ve heard about SL from the media. I think that is why there is such a rush of Aholes to join lately. JMO
Corona
Mar 2nd, 2008
in sL if you go to sex sims /landmarks you get orgies
if you go to avatarian sims / landmarks you find spiritually minded people
Sl is so vast and diverse that you could spend your entire life in here and never see a sex sim
the choice is yours
we were all noobies once – and most probably checked out orgy sims – like teenagers we soon grew up
ps – since when did mormons hand out jehovah witness magazines ?
derivative.
Mar 2nd, 2008
I know about Spider Jerusalem. And you, sir, are no Spider Jerusalem.
Plz to stop cribbing from comic books.
Splatter Gomorrah
Mar 2nd, 2008
derivative: You spotted me! The column title is from a comic called Transmetropolitan that I highly rec amend, if you’re into that kind of thing. There was a line about that, but it must have gotten edited out. My user name is actually also a comic reference: it’s a Howard The Duck parody of Spider Jerusalem, the main character in Transmetropolitan.
Corona: They’re not Mormons? I could have sworn they told me that once before I released my army of toxic bees on them.
Darthblueafro: Maybe we could just round them up and put them little ‘camps’?
GreenLantern Excelsior
Mar 2nd, 2008
The Watchtower: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Watchtower
Just Me: Never seen a griefer attack? Check out Sandbox Island in the evening after the kids get home from school.
Just Me
Mar 2nd, 2008
@ GreenLantern … .yeah, I bet the sandboxes are full of griefer kiddies. but my point was that, in most peoples day to day SL , griefing is irrelevant … we just don’t see it and many people dont’ even know it exists.
There IS a kinder, gentler SL out there .. honest !!!
Witness X
Mar 3rd, 2008
Better yet, wait until the Superhero Pajama Patrol gets home from their McJobs. That’s griefing on a whole different level.
Karina
Mar 3rd, 2008
Just Me – “BTW, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again .. regardless of all the complaints here about noobs and griefing and ad farms and content theft, the majority of us in SL are going about our merry way, dancing, making friends, building stuff, selling in our little shops, etc.”
Bravo! I love my Second Life….and stay clear of the places which don’t fall with in my realm of integrity.
My choice and dang proud to be one of those kind and gentle SL residents!
Satans Slave
Mar 4th, 2008
it is good to see that splatter Gomorrah knows the correct way to deal with the enemies of our Lord Satan (pbuh)
Corona
Mar 4th, 2008
“that i highly recommened – if you are into that sort of thing?
but isnt that true of anything?
if you are into something – books and magazines on that subject would be highly recommended purely by default
(- sorry just my teacher training in pedantry manifesting )
Corona
Mar 4th, 2008
“Transmetropolitan”
was that not a song by the pogues?
Corona
Mar 4th, 2008
ps from what i remember the Watchtower is a monthly magazine
if you are being ‘god’ bothered on a weekly basis, then JW infestation must be particulary heavy where you live, suggest you call in pest control.
splatter is what you shoulda been not named
Mar 4th, 2008
and WHY are all the kids here looking for sex or griefing targets?
Exactly, they read about all the FUN things you can do in SL in the media, among others the Second Life Herald.
and here you are, complaining about the results of what the SLH does, in the SLH? XD
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem some say.
Seems to me you’re definately NOT part of the solution my dear. So if you wanna complain, there’s the door out of Second Life. Dont let it hit you ont he way out. Or, to put it less gentlemanlike, if you wanna complain, go put your head in the toilet.
Jace
Mar 13th, 2008
Mormons would not sell watchtowers. Watchtowers mag. are from the Jehovah’s Witness’s
notjoe
Nov 24th, 2008
Jehova’s Witnesses distribute the Watchtower not Mormons(we can argue over which are more annoying though).
Do you take pride in the fact that you’re a seasoned Second Life OG? How I envy the amount if hours you’ve wasted.