Once Upon An Internet

by Alphaville Herald on 30/04/08 at 10:57 pm

by Nidol Slazar, WU poet in residence

Once upon an internet,
Lived a group of ruthless trolls,
Whom began to pose a virtual threat,
With their vile and treacherous souls,

This vast collective of hate,
Wearing masks of anonymity,
Feared not one place to desecrate,
With their state of unanimity,

Unknown to the public eye,
Existed the people behind the screen,
That could be anyone nearby,
Part of the internet hate machine,

They analyzed humanity,
And the rifts in which it torn,
How closely it resembled goatse,
Or really bad anal porn,

No single man controlled them,
Even though so many have tried,
Comrades were quick to condemn,
“Not your personal army!”, they cried,

But when the hivemind agreed,
To launch their X-Box huge attacks,
The forum rules they did not heed,
From Moot or W.T. Snacks,

Soldiers began their raids,
And marched onto enemy land,
To cleanse the spread of AIDS,
Just as they had planned,

Furries burned and dongs soared,
Bans came left and right,
A great gift from their longcat lord,
Came shining through the light,

A voice then spammed the servers,
“Use this for great justice!”, it said,
Their lord had given them life preservers,
“Now let the rivers run red!”

The admins tried and tried,
But their bans would no longer work,
Eventually the computers fried,
And caused the system to go berserk,

Victory was achieved,
But this had only been the start,
Their destroyed enemies grieved,
But vowed to tear Anon apart,

The wars still take place,
They exist in electronic lore,
If you want to read the rest,
Then you’re going to have to lurk moar,

So if you have no morals,
And you are also autonomous,
Will you help create funny quarrels,
And become apart of Anonymous?

copyright (c) 2008 – Nidol Slazar – used by the gracious permission of the author.

6 Responses to “Once Upon An Internet”

  1. anon

    May 1st, 2008

    The Herald continues to post poems that make absolutely no sense when read aloud. Bravo.

    Also, in before drama.

  2. Ari

    May 1st, 2008

    WOW! LOOK!

    Up in the sky… it’s a flaming meteor! Look at that that thing burn… and it must be falling at a million miles and hour!

    Holy crap!

    Oh… no… wait…

    It’s just the SL Herald. Too much poetry nonsense makes boring reading. No wonder it’s going down in flames.


  3. Witness X

    May 1st, 2008

    I’m a /b/tard, so I should be favorably biased to like this one.

    It’s just trash, sorry – and the idea that we’re somehow different from the rest just because some of us fight others of us is stupid, because we’re /b/tards and by definition we’re anarchists. We’re deconstructionists. So the point of posting this was what? To get a few Lindens?


  4. Lord Kamina, Master of Haiku

    May 1st, 2008

    Boxes and boxes;
    Blocking your virtual sex;
    Pool’s Closed due to AIDS.

  5. Nidol Slazar

    May 1st, 2008

    “Also, in before drama.”


  6. d3adlyc0d3c

    May 2nd, 2008

    It’s all shit isn’t it, I mean all my stuff is, I’m useless and I just make it up for the lulz

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