Nipplegate: The Sag-a Continues!

by kris on 02/07/08 at 8:08 pm

SL5B naughty bits scandal expands to elbows

by Kris Dibou

Venus De Milo

I received a tip, dear readers, that a short distance behind the Statue of David stood Aphrodite, nipples exposed.  To verify this sighting, the Herald was there in no time with experts who have allegedly seen nipples before.  To our dismay, we could not determine if we were looking at nipples or not. 

Famous snail-detective Happy Trails offered this twist on the situation:

"It would seem to me that the Lindens mistook this lady’s arms for nipples, and removed the wrong items.  They must have used a very large cleavage to cut them off with, or perhaps with the availability of alcohol in SL, they were just bosom too much and cut off the wrong things."

One of our experts stated that the breasts were pointed, thereby indicating the existence of nipples even though they were not shaded as such.  I was quick to point out that Artfox’s wooden nipples were round and not pointed, so perhaps pointy is what you have when there is no nipple.

"We need to nip this thing in the bud", exclaimed Happy, "Time to make a clean breast of this business.  We need a tete-a-tete with the Lindens and determine the definition of a nipple.  Until then, no avatar is safe, from the little furries running on the ground to the big hooters up in the trees.  It sickens me to think of little children titillated by these statues."

Happy went on to say "The Lindens may be a bunch of boobies, but however they define nipples is what we must go with, lick(sp) it or not."

I could see it now; a whole grid full of people with no arms because the Lindens couldn’t tell a nipple from an elbow.  Artfox may have removed the wrong body parts.

6 Responses to “Nipplegate: The Sag-a Continues!”

  1. Just Me

    Jul 2nd, 2008

    I plan to withhold comment until I know Jimbo’s stand on the matter .


  2. dandellion Kimban

    Jul 3rd, 2008

    Hmmmm it seems that Venus is especially interesting for nipple-deleting. There is another (Botticelli’s) one at the SL5B Isle of Lesbos. Wherever this is all going, we’re not going to like it.

  3. janeforyou Barbara

    Jul 3rd, 2008

    Nipples or no Nipples,, thats the BIG question?
    Do it matter if you are Lesbian- Bi- Hetro? Man or Women? Is a PG nipple diffrent from other Nipples? lol….ok so nipples are ( or can be ) sexy… moust of us also got the first food from nipples. We take away the plate( read Nipple) lol
    The whole Nipple ting on this matters are silly, but i guess you all know that?

  4. Darien Caldwell

    Jul 3rd, 2008

    I’m surprised nobody has brought up Phillip’s Statue with the huge throbbing multi-colored bulge in the crotch… Surely that is worse than nipples could ever be?

  5. Corona Anatine

    Jul 4th, 2008

    there has to be something very strange about anyone who censors nipples
    but not the penis

    strange wierd puritanism up there with the Voyager plaque on which the female genitals were not depicted in case unknown aliens saw them

    maybe it has something to do with the Lindens being American?

  6. Ric Mollor

    Jul 4th, 2008

    Linden Lab is concerned about decency? In a world that is widely considered the leading platform for virtual sex? In a world where free sex beds are so common that they might as well be in the official newbie starter inventory. In a ‘game’ where the only reliable movement is that produced by poseballs? When the majority users’ profiles say ‘what goes on in SL stays in SL’.

    How are they going to react when the news of a new viewer that renders every avatar nude hits the mainstream press?

    The sexual activity within SL makes ‘Hot Coffee’ look like lukewarm watered down decaf.

Leave a Reply