I’m a Barbie® Girl, in a Barbie World
by Alphaville Herald on 20/08/08 at 8:00 am
Daddy? Can I have your credit card?
by Sigmund Leominster
Barbie Girl Home: VIP girls get SuperB Chat™ then shop for clothes and funky new furni
As a kid, I was never wanted to play with dolls. As a boy, calling them “Action Figures” didn’t make it any more likely. At one time, I’m pretty sure I stripped one of my sister’s Barbie dolls to check out the underlying anatomy, but the lack of genitalia and nipples meant that I lost interest pretty quickly. So the world of childhood doll play quietly passed me by.
Then I became a Capitalist. My initial puzzlement about why on earth people should want to mess around with plastic figurines gave way to the amazing discovery that the people at Mattel Corporation were actually making millions of dollars from this urge to dress mini-mannequins. Maybe billions. Now Barbie became much more interesting.
Today, Mattel, Inc. makes almost 100 million each year from its Barbie-related enterprise. Love her or hate her, she’s pimped out by the boys in suits and her ill-gotten gains keep investors very happy indeed. She may be a slut but she’s one of the world’s most profitable sluts and as long as she keeps opening her legs, people will keep opening their wallets.
Alas, this year it seems Barbie has become the MILF of Dollywood with younger girls stealing away her clients. The sexually provocative and precocious teen Bratz™ dolls have been tempting people away from the WASPish icon. In their 2008 Second Quarter report, Mattel shows an 11% increase in net sales worldwide – but a 6% drop in Barbie-related sales. Seems like her pink slip is starting to show.
But there is a strategy, and that involves Barbie’s new home: The Barbie Girls™ virtual world. Here, pre-pubescent girls can hang with other pre-pubescent girls, bi-curious pre-pubescent boys, emotionally retarded post-teens, and hopeful pedophiles. Put that way, it sounds more like Second Life than Barbie Life, but more than this, Barbie Girls embodies the spirit of capitalism in a much more overt way than Linden Labs can even dream of. Second Life entrepreneurs should take a leaf out of the Mattel sales book.
Joining Barbie Girls is simple. All you really need to do is click on an age bracket, give a name, choose a Barbie Girl name, and give a parental e-mail address. I clicked on “16 and above” (no need to lie), said I was Sigmund Leominster, chose my Barbie Girl name of Pixeleen, and gave my own e-mail address of sigmund.writer@gmail.com. That was basically it. I received an e-mail saying that my child had signed up for Barbie Girl and did I approve? Well of course I did!
Come on Barbie, let’s go party!
What to wear, what to wear! First thing you need to do when you enter the land of the Enchantress is to snag some clothes. Fortunately you start with a vest, long johns, socks, and shoes. No nudity in the Barbie Girl world! You get to choose skin color, hair, eyes, and lips on your first screen. You also get your first brutal fact about being a Barbie Girl: it’s going to cost ya. Although you can kit yourself out with free items, others require you to part with Barbie Bucks™. These you can get by having mommy or daddy provide a credit card number for your Barbie bank account. So I’m not yet clothed and already the pressure is on to spend, spend, spend.
New Pix and modified Pix
My first shopping experience was to visit the Chic Boutique™ and browse the shelves for new clothing. Within one minute of entering the store I was hit with two requests for friendship without either person saying a single word to me. I declined both. I’m just not that sort of girl. I need the flowers, the dinner, the wooing, and all that good stuff before I commit to something.
Second Life couturiers need not worry about cross-platform competition because the fashion standards in the Barbie Girl world are a little primitive. But considering that your body looks suspiciously like a hairy balloon on top of a stick, there’s not much skin to cover with cloth. So I chose a new dress and went into the changing rooms to try it on. I found you could alter the color and pattern of the item, something not always possible in SL. I tried out a cute little skirt that didn’t make me look like a heifer, for the reasonable price of 30 Barbie Bucks™. My account had been credited with 100 so I felt it was a worthwhile investment.
Chic Boutique 10 Barbie bucks skirt
But wait… there’s more. The “Add to basket” button was grayed out. On screen was a large button exhorting me to click to become a VIP member? It turns out that although I can actually earn Barbie Bucks, I can’t spend any until I become a VIP! So here I am with money to burn and no way to use it. Damn. So for $5.99 US, I can be a VIP for one month, for $17.97 I can have a 3-month membership, and $35.94 gets me a 6-month ride. All these exclude taxes. Needless to say I left disappointed without my snappy new frock. If only Barbie had been here; I bet she’d have bought it for me.
Super glam VIP access cranks up the fun – for a price
You also get a room when you join. None of this hunting-for-land and buying houses like you have to do in Second Life. However, it’s only a one-room pied-à-terre with a tiny balcony, and as a non-VIP, you can’t buy furniture to add to the bed that seems to be the only item you have. Having the bed seems redundant because although you can visit your friends’ houses, only VIPs can have people to their house. That means slumber parties and pillow fights are out. It may be some time before Xcite™ products are on the shelves at Chic Boutique.
Logging out from my first Barbie Girl experience was as simple as it is with Second Life: I crashed.
Even Barbie has to crash sometimes
All good clean fun, eh? Well, Mattel are banking on the 11 million online users of Barbie Girl to make up for the shortfall in actual Barbie sales. And as Second Life residents often point out, the 11 million will include free users, dead accounts, and even alts. The Second Quarter report says that the net loss in doll sales was $46 million, so let’s hope the little Barbettes are doing their bit to boost the virtual economy. Otherwise Barbie’s going to be running back to Ken’s trailer and joining him working at his truck stop gas station in Arkansas.
dandellion Kimban
Aug 20th, 2008
Barbie World is a brain-washing machine for little girls. I still cannot believe they did that horrible thing of limiting chat to 60 predefined sentences ( http://metaverse.acidzen.org/2007/fear-and-loathing-in-the-barbie-world ). And then they combined that with “consumerism 101″ and “get used that everything has TM sign”. All that aimed at teenage girls!
Other interesting thing about Barbie World is that it attracts a hell lot of spam. You’ll see in the months to follow. I wrote my two posts about it almost a year ago, and they still attract spam both pro and contra Barbies. They’re all written in the name of girls age 10 to 14, just like somebody imagines those girls would speak.
FlipperPA Peregrine
Aug 20th, 2008
I’d prefer Malibu Stacy world designed with Whelan Smithers myself.
Sigmund Leominster
Aug 20th, 2008
@dandellion: Yes, the restriction on “free speech” does appear to be somewhat odd, although I can semi-understand the intent behind it when you remember that is IS supposed to be aimed at very young kids. But I also think that such restrictions will inevitably lead to the decline of the Barbie(R) Girl virtual world. In an up-coming article for “another paper” I discuss the “4C’s” of virtual world success: Construction, Commerce, Constitution, and Communication. (The alternative is the the “4B’s – Building, Buying, Banning, and Bonking – take your pick!) Without going into detail – and in a pathetic attempt to drum up some pre-release fever and get you to go read the upcoming piece – the restricted Communication factor makes the Barbie Girl world ultimately less attractive. Further, the lack of ability to Construct also puts a damper on success.
Just something to think about. I have no problem with the commercial aspect of Barbie Girls and it is fairly explicit in that; I just think it’s too much to pay for too little to do. At least my $6 per month in SL lets me build, buy, ban, and bonk to my hearts content
mootykips
Aug 20th, 2008
haha, the Disney quasi-mmo also had the predefined thing, except it was with words. people quickly realized that you could, though, say “MICKEY DID TWIN TOWERS”.
Cai Pirinha
Aug 20th, 2008
Am I the only one who had to spontaneously vomit when looking that Barbie World color scheme?
/me walks off to get some paper towels
dandellion Kimban
Aug 20th, 2008
@Sigmund: Yes, those are little girls and they were going after their safety. But that is a very very bad thing to do to a developing mind. Kid of that age (and any other age) should develop the language and communication skills. By using predefined text they are becoming retards. Literally.
Mony Markova
Aug 20th, 2008
Siggs goes undercover – special envoy.
Second Life certainly feels like Barbie World, or a Barbie economy. One thing we could use (some of us) is more Hello Kitty.
Huggs Siggs
Archie Lukas
Aug 21st, 2008
Archie puts his fingers down his throat and splatters the pinkness with some colour……
Sigmund Leominster
Aug 30th, 2008
I’m not one for resurrecting dead threads – and I’m OK to consider this one currently as being in a cryogenic state – but I do want folks to be aware that there are web sites out there trawling indiscriminately for information based on keywords. This very article has now turned up on “Barbie News” hosted by Topix (http://www.topix.com/toys/barbie). As of today, it merits a spot in the sidebar and even has the cute little graphics snagged from this very article.
I recommend this site to folks who have a perverse grudge against the plastic playmate because it includes many fascinating titles such as “Decapitated Dolls, Stolen Bras – Pervert Visits Women, Leaves Crazy Porn Surprise,” “Why I chose to be gay,” and “Ken and Barbie do it Doll-Style in Toy Story 3.”
Oh, and the site is looking for editors. Herald readers secretly in love with Babs can now contribute to her mighty empire – for free, of course.
bary
Oct 14th, 2008
that not to have pay for good dress up
savannah
Nov 20th, 2008
i have a barbiegil she is a vip here is her info…
username:im12Dyah
password:333333
renuka
Dec 16th, 2008
it is to good but it is not free of cost
barbie girl
Feb 11th, 2009
if u give me a be-bratz i will give u a barbiegirl vip account . i am not a lier
bruna0p
Mar 7th, 2009
quero falar
chazney
Mar 22nd, 2009
hi i have a vip account i only had it for 3 weeks so it is real long and its on an mp3 that i got of ebay cool uh so i can give my vip out if some one gives me a b bratz account first DEAL
warcraft gold
Mar 23rd, 2009
This is the first time I’ve heard of Barbie world. Is it for real?
urizenus sklar
Mar 23rd, 2009
there is a link in the story
dinda
Apr 15th, 2009
can i have ac cheats to b a vip in babriegirls.com ??? plzz help me,, and teach me to put those cheats … in barbiegirl
faye
May 26th, 2009
i need you to not have make people use their credit card number plezzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!
thanks
nofayada@yahoo.com
pleas do not have us give you our credit card number to become a barbiegirs V.I.P. plezzzz! do not have that agan.
giddyyup54321
Jun 11th, 2009
she’s a barbie girl in the barbie world life is plastic it’s fantastic you could brush my hair undress me every where imagination is fantastic. give me a free vip codes that really works and i’ll give you some cheats okay?.giddyyup54321
ThouShallNeverKnow
Feb 3rd, 2010
Who wrote this article? First of all articles should be non-biased and not contain deragatory!!! “She may be a slut but she’s one of the world’s most profitable sluts and as long as she keeps opening her legs, people will keep opening their wallets.” Who ever wrote this needs to go to some writing classes ASAP!! The internet is not ready for your hideous writing, so go to some classes then come back in a couple years. Try give it another try then!!
Sigmund Leominster
Feb 3rd, 2010
Wow, after 18 months this article is still getting comments! Thanks for the… er… feedback, ThouShallNeverKnow
Where did you learn that articles should be unbiased? And I suppose you’ve heard of “irony” and “sarcasm?” Still, if the piece managed to cause a bilious reaction resulting in making you want to respond, then my work is done. If only I could use my powers for good…
effeswdgtfd
May 15th, 2010
yay im about to be a member well i might be because im going to buy the mp3 thing
hjh
Aug 12th, 2010
it is for real im on it its fun !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!