The Alphaville Herald

The Prince Diaries — A Private Eye For An Eye

by Alphaville Herald on 03/09/08 at 7:43 am

by Prince Plutonian, virtual rent boy

“Well that sucks.”

Ginger had a knack for pointing out the obvious. We were having dinner at Restaurant Sea Breeze and I had told her all about the private detective that was waiting for me two days ago. She, of course, found it hilarious that my first foray into the world of escorting had been met with such a bizarre outcome. Well, it was a little bizarre in the first place, having to ask Ginger to walk me through my first escorting session with Mr Shlong, who apparently had a partner he hadn’t mentioned. Would that have made me turn him down? Hmm, who knows? Fact is, I wasn’t told, and now I was being blackmailed by a private detective.

Private Eyes metaservse detective agency

“Blackmailed?” Ginger asked with her mouth full of salad. She usually had her mouth full with something so I should be thankful it was only salad.

“You should just kick his ass. I have a great AO for that!”

I nodded with a smirk, although at the time, I had now idea what an AO was, (it means Animation Override, for all you newbies like me, which basically makes you walk, talk, fly, dance, much better). I then told her everything the detective — Chase Nova — told me: he was hired by Mr Shlong’s partner to follow him around and provide evidence he was cheating. Nova was there the night Mr Shlong enlisted my services and got photographic evidence of us being together.

“That’s hilarious!”

Sometimes I wondered why I even liked Ginger. Nevertheless, Nova then told me he would be willing to make the photos disappear if I paid him more than he was getting at the moment. I asked him how much and he told me. I don’t need to tell you the amount. Let’s just say you’ve gotta knock a lot of shoes in order to have that much cash. He gave me a few days to come up with the money. Ginger just looked at me and shook her head, almost in disgust, before saying, “Why do you care?”

The heartless bitch had a point. It really wasn’t my problem, or fault, but that led me back to my previous question: if I had known, would I have still done it? And if the answer to that question is a yes, then what kind of a person does that make me? Luckily I was never going to find that out but it did leave me feeling uneasy, so I decided to do something about it. I might not be able to come up with the cash but I could find another way of persuading Nova not to destroy a relationship.

I was going to give him a taste of his own medicine.

And so my dirt-digging adventure led me to a different detective agency, called Private Eyes. I was greeted by Mercury Madsen, who was a very good looking guy and – no wait, still so good looking – anyway, he was the owner of the agency and it was through him I was planning to find out how I could become a temporary private investigator. Nova wouldn’t back down unless I had the money, but he might drop the whole thing if I could pull some of his skeletons out of the closet.

Prince Plutonian: How did you come to think of setting up a detective agency?
Mercury Madsen: I set my original agency up over 2 years ago
Mercury Madsen: was called Mercury Heat
Mercury Madsen: Just noticed that some of my friends had had problems with partners etc
Mercury Madsen: and thought that would be a common problem in sl
Mercury Madsen: started just me
Mercury Madsen: 1 case at time
Mercury Madsen: and then after a while expanded from there

Prince Plutonian: So how does someone gather the skills to become an investigator in SL? Do you need special equipment?
Mercury Madsen: yep we offer a full training programme to new agents
Mercury Madsen: which teaches all skills needed
Mercury Madsen: and we recommend select pieces of equipment to help with their work

Prince Plutonian: So, what kind of equipment do you work with? And what do they specifically do?
Mercury Madsen: I recommend 2 main pieces for a new agent
Mercury Madsen: one called ‘secret agent hud’
Mercury Madsen: have a selection in the shop upstairs
Mercury Madsen: and other online tracker
Mercury Madsen: there r many different pieces of equipment out there though all doing a different job

Prince Plutonian: Okay. So a large chunk of your clients are people trying to catch out their cheating partners? How do you go about tracking someone down and how do you get the proof?
Mercury Madsen: we track ppl by firstly putting their name in the online tracker
Mercury Madsen: this will tell us if they currently online or not
Mercury Madsen: then we create a profile folder
Mercury Madsen: with their favourite lms/ groups/picks etc
Mercury Madsen: we then locate them by visiting these LMs
Mercury Madsen: and we then watch to see what they up to collecting evidence on public conversations/ photos etc

Prince Plutonian: Any particular funny stories spring to mind you’d like to share?
Mercury Madsen: mmm will have to think about that one

Prince Plutonian: Alright So once you’ve got the evidence, you then deliver it to your client? Do they pay you upfront or when they’ve got the goods?
Mercury Madsen: up front. That way we know what money we got to spend on the case etc

Prince Plutonian: And how many clients do you get on average per week? Are there a lot of *paranoid* people out there?
Mercury Madsen: yep there r quite a few average around 5 to 8 a week
Mercury Madsen: just depends on the week
Mercury Madsen: tend to be quieter towards end of month
Mercury Madsen: until ppl get paid in rl

Prince Plutonian: And do you charge differently on a customer to customer basis? Or is all a set fee?
Mercury Madsen: set fee can send u the rates if u want

Prince Plutonian: Okay, so if I were to try and dig some dirt up on someone myself, what’s your advice? What should I use and how should I go about it?
Mercury Madsen: I would say doing your research is the key
Mercury Madsen: need to put in the ground work to then get the info u need
Mercury Madsen: after that then time and patience

Prince Plutonian: Hmm, seems it would be a lot easier to just pay you and do it
Mercury Madsen: alot of time waiting around for something
Mercury Madsen: yep thats why we offer the service
Mercury Madsen: have agents that have the training and the time to complete

Prince Plutonian: I’m guessing you get a lot of broken hearts around here, is there any kind of help after? Any counselling facilities in SL? Or are they just left to cry and/or seek violent revenge?
Mercury Madsen: In most cases the client has contacted me early and in a way deep down knows there is something not right
Mercury Madsen: It is a releif to them when we get the evidence
Mercury Madsen: and most r just happy that they know

Private Eyes HQ

Prince Plutonian: So you’re a firm believer in the truth being known rather than living the lie? Even if it means getting hurt
Mercury Madsen: no I beleive that everyone is different and that some ppl need support to find the truth. They r the ppl that contact me.
Mercury Madsen: and if they don’t want too know they r happy as they r

Prince Plutonian: Have you ever had anyone abuse you for exposing them?
Mercury Madsen: we try not to get involved with the emotional side of the case just stick to the facts
Mercury Madsen: no because the evidence is in black and white
Mercury Madsen: nothing that can be done about it and ppl then just move on

Prince Plutonian: Have you ever had someone contact you about a RL person and wanting to know what they’re doing in SL? Or is it all in-game? Like an RL married couple, and the wife wanting to know what the husband is doing in SL?
Mercury Madsen: yep have had a few of thoughs not many
Mercury Madsen: we stick to sl only
Mercury Madsen: don’t want to get rl and sl mixed

Prince Plutonian: Hehe, for sure
Mercury Madsen: could cause problems if we did

Mercury seemed to know what he was talking about and had obviously been in the business for a long time. In fact, they are the oldest established detective agency in SL. But what had I learnt that I didn’t already know? Well, for one, I knew that I couldn’t be a private investigator. I’m way too impatient and I’m definitely not that clever. So that just kinda left me with one option: do nothing. I guess, generally speaking, that leaves me with no options, but who’s counting? With that in mind, and feeling completely defeated, I returned home. Once again there was someone waiting for me but unlike last time, it was a pleasant surprise.

“Bruno?”

He didn’t look at me — or at least, not how he used to. He was still stunning and extremely well presented but there was something off about him. He finally lifted his eyes and glared at me with such intensity I thought my stomach was gonna fall outta my butt. It was then I realized why he was there.

“You slept with my partner, Prince.”

Okay. So not much of a pleasant surprise.

[Thank you to Mercury Madsen for his interview. Below are the rates for Private Eyes, an extremely professional and friendly detective agency, who are there to help you]