The Alphaville Herald

Top Ten Armies Reviewed – Consumers’ Guide to SL Military

by Alphaville Herald on 04/09/08 at 10:58 pm

A must-read for potential recruits

by Vinzenz Fiertze

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Part I – The Brass Accord (Iron Symphony Section)

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Army 1: Merczateers
Leader(s): Lurdan Huszar, Anthony Lehane
Background: Set in Post-Apoc Ukraine, hence the sim: Badnarik.
Current Members in Main Group (as of 9/3/08): 274
Rating: 9

Pros: I found the Merczateers to be one of the BEST armies the grid has EVER had. For a start, their leaders have both a sense of humor, while still maintaining a moderately strict attitude to keep his soldiers disciplined and aware. It could actually be said, that, perhaps the Merczateers are a mixture between Ordo, and an army of the Soveriegn Regime. Not ONLY are they of quality leaders and officers, but their recruiters are very good. They are not like Ordo, in the sense that they decline roughly 82% of their applicants, but they do not invite those minorities who know little to zero english. Aside from the soldiers, the armor is remarkable, and most unique. The huds and weapons are also very well created, and are professionally scripted (as most army weapons should be). The Merczateers are nothing short of professional, when it comes to battles, armor, or weapons.

Cons: I find few flaws within this army, and those that I noticed, were small at best. One of them was the minor drama that I noticed would occur from time to time. Although some of it, later on, I admit I started, there was from time to time many others who could not stand a drama-free army. Other than that, the rumors that are constantly passed about are false.

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Army 2: The Elite Armed Forces (EAF)
Leader(s): Br1an Razor,Teal Razor
Background: None
Current Members: 0 (lol)
Briefing: First off, yes, I know, they are, at the moment, non-existent. Second, I did confront Br1an once about the army’s background, and he said there was none, so I guess we know the answer. Also, yes, I put this in the Iron Symphony section as a joke. Deal with it.
Rating: 2

Pros: Decent headgear, good potential, even better R&D.

Cons: Br1an is not one to be a leader. From what I gather, before founding EAF, he was just another SL resident. Things change, I guess, but not for long. I wanted to help them get on their feet, because I noticed they could be a good army. Half jokingly, and half serious, I asked Br1an if I could be an officer. Yes, stupid question, but do not be quick in answering for him, as he gave me the highest officer rank, O-9, right off the bat, AND, gave me command of my own division. Although that is somewhat fun, I was confused. Recognizing his acceptance of my intrest in helping, I began helping out, and ironing out the wrinkles. It was all going well, but after a week or so, Ordo attacked. Now, not to say THAT is the problem, no, not at all. It was what the soldiers of EAF did, that got me frusturated. Now, I will probably get millions of IM’s about how all of what I am about to state false is true, but I do not care. Most of the soldiers did a horrible job retaliating. As a matter of fact, they just sat there, and yelled and cursed at the various attackers, whining about the obvious lag. After the battle, and after I scolded those who said the hateful comments to Ordo, I did my best to hold my promise of making EAF into a reputable army, and went to Ordo to deliver a formal apology. Now everybody knows when you mass-teleport to Dorien, you will also notice server lag, and the same thing happened at the EAF base. Other than ALL this drama, a few days after, a cocky officer of EAF, Ratien Raymaker, played out a conversation with me as if everything was okay, and then, right when I wasnt paying attention, he ran to Br1an, BEGGED for the rank of the leader of EAF, and Br1an gave it to him. Then, since Br1an was the most easy person to convince, Ratien proceeded to ban me, and eject me, AND, after a while, Br1an did the same, per Ratien Raymaker’s request. A few days later, EAF died because of drama issues.

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Army 3: Militant Collective
Leader(s): Radieur Ng
Background: YAFA (Yet Another Futuristic Army)
Current Members: 121
Rating: 4

Pros: Nice sim, decent weapons, cool divisions.

Cons: I don’t have much to say except this: (very) Silly armor, a lot of their high-ranked individuals are cocky and some use sad abbreviations ALL THE TIME, and speak poorly. That CAN get annoying. Also, they are just gross at battle. Yes, I use the word “gross,” do define their combat skills. I don’t want to go through weeks of training to be in an army that has the skills of a mladshiy or chargen graduating class, thank you.

(Notice how I leave out Rathium :O )

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Army 4: Ordo Imperialis
Leader(s): Aryte Vesperia
Background: Set in a “Warhammer 40K” background, and derived from somewhat Roman roots.
Rating: 8

Pros: Ordo has amazing armor, and is THE MOST disciplined army yet, not to mention their amazing sim-structure, and their detailed weapons. They have various leaders, and Aryte is one who leaves the high-ranks to their job and doesn’t bother. For example, if you ask Aryte directly to join, he will most likely respond with: “I’m sorry but you’ll have to take that up with either the Curia, or the Schola. IM Kristian Kit or Yoko Puff with an application. Thank you.” It puts a bigger sense of responsibility in front of the soldiers themselves, instead of the leaders doing everything. Teamwork, I’d call it.

Cons: A bit too strict. Their recruitment staff declines more than half of the applications they recieve, and that’s a fact. Not that it is a big problem, however, you know, it is quite the tedious hole many fall into. Other than that, all the hatrid put towards them is wrong, although I do believe that many times they can be too short about a situation, and come to conclusions way too fast, rather than thoroughly investigating first. The parody I made on their video about Maza Rau, as well as the parody I made on Mercz’ promotional video, were not made in insult, but just for humor.

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Part II: The Nazi/Communist Governance (The Soveriegn Regime)

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Army 1: Vanguard
Leader(s): Christoph Naumova
Background: Vanguard is an army that takes place in a perhaps later version of Germany.
Rating: 5

Pros: Good armor, some good people, and fantastic weapons, scripted well by Lance Lefay. Also, the sim is amazing in looks, and in maneuverability.

Cons: Oh, gosh, where should I start? Here, let me explain something: If you take a bunch of “single-digitally” aged children, and throw them on an appealing building, throw guns in their hands, and armor on their backs, which are both cool and easy to use, you’ve got an army, so Vanguard did nothing that anyone else couldn’t do. The reason they have so many people, in fact, is that you get an enlisted rank upon joining. In various attempts to be a good leader, Christoph Naumova, on preparation of attack, will order all men to gather around him, and explain, in blanket statements (eg.: AD take the left, and Infantry take the right), how he wants the show to run. And the behavior is not that much better. Structure is always non-existent, and you will never see VG soldiers “Strategizing.” They don’t need to, right? They are perfect, aren’t they? No, I really don’t think so.

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Army 2: The Pan-Slayva Coalition
Leader: Dark Svenska
Background: Set in post-apoc Russia
Rating: 8

Pros: Dark is a good leader and is understanding when necessary. The guns are extraordinary, and the armor is unique. The sim, is also quite well-structured. Some of the soldiers are dedicated, and well-disciplined. PSC is one of the few “new” armies I have seen get such fame so fast.

Cons: You will almost always be able to catch a PSC soldier dicking off. Any time I am on base, I will see them running around with Pikachu hats on, or screaming various gestures, or even teamkilling. When I give them an order (as an E-6 NCO), they will yell at me, and tell me to leave the others alone. They will also whine about me to the leader, saying that I am “ABUSING MY RIGHTS.” They are full of shit, they are just addicted to being selfish, mindless fiends, and they don’t want to stop it.

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Army 3: Task Force Marines (TFM)Leader: Bennyboy BallBackground: Not evidentRating: 6

Pros: They are doing their best, let’s put it that way. They are a good group of people. They also are getting better and better with armor and weapons, and have a full blown sim, as well.

Cons: I have been on base with them a lot, until recently, but they seem to have few flaws. Maybe that’s because they are not doing much at the moment. I have to be honest, as good a group of people they are, they are not that good at combat. Other than that, they are doing well. Keep it up, TFM.

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Part III: The Progenotorial Action (the Ascendant Initiative)

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Army 1: Sparta
Leader: Bruno Ziskey
Background: Set in futuristic Sparta
Rating: 6

Pros: Good background, and weapons. Nice sim. Pretty good fighters, too.

Cons: Oh, Bruno. I guarantee you that anyone you meet (besides other Spartans) will say that he is Ban-Happy. Why? I don’t know, go there and ask him after he bans you. That is if he doesnt mute you right after, at which point you should consider yourself lucky. I think it’s because he’s afraid. Ask around for the quote of him saying he has every right to ban anyone, for no reason, as the land owner. I do not like to consider them as an army of SL, but rather a lego-army of Lego Life, if it exists. Yes, I am talking about their armor. Most, if not all of the rumors and stories about Sparta are true.

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Army 2: The Alliance Navy
Leader: Jim Herbst
Background: Was founded originally as a group to defend others from greifers in sandboxes, but then later became an army based on a “Mars-like” atmosphere.
Rating: 6

Pros: THE MOST strict leaders you will ever know exist in this army. If you even FIRE YOUR GUN without REASON, you WILL get laps. VERY good discipline. Well-scripted weapons.

Cons: Unattractive armor, easy foe (sorry). I do not find much else wrong with the Alliance Navy, only other hearsay. I do not believe much of it to be true as I discovered myself that they aren’t half bad. I don’t really like their style, and I do not like some of their procedures. They are just a bit to pushy as far as saluting protocol goes, although, when you think about it, it CAN be necessary at times.

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Army 3: The 39th Black Watch M.H.T.F
Leader: SqueezeOne Pow
Background: Scottish Mobile Heavy Task Force
Rating: 5

Pros: Good group of people, and good strong soldiers.

Cons: There is not much to say about these men. They are VERY boring, their armor is even more boring, and they never stick out. Their base is TOO small, and they do not allow most lone-wolves to attack with good chance of winning, as they banned black-ops weapons and other reputable company weapons. At least they don’t ban as much as Sparta.