W-Hat Takes Up Arms
by Alphaville Herald on 02/09/08 at 9:10 pm
Suicidal rabbits and guns with no bullets stockpiled as W-Hat goons prepare for unconventional warfare with Alliance Navy?
by Metallicoe Gears, metaverse military reporter
Mall being demolished as goons move to a military footing
While doing my daily round of the bases, I came across the Mercz base once again, in Salamis. I walked up to the bridge and was greeted by the enlistees standing guard. I started a conversation with Merczateer Miko Finl about general war and things like that, then she mentioned that a new army was rumored to be starting. A military off-springing from the ‘W-hat’ group. I searched the group, then read their group charter. It said this:
‘We aim to be a global organization that constantly stays a step ahead in dealing with change and creates new value, and contributes broadly to society’
Well, didn’t sound much like an Army to me.
Miko told me they had a sim named ‘what’. As I chuckled away at the utter randomness of the name, I was assured that Miko was serious. I pulled out my report’s notebook, opened the SL map, and searched for ‘what’, found it, then teleported.
I was greeted with the rather messy sight of a mall full of invisi-prims and random bits of buildings everywhere. I could see on my minimap that there was an inhabitant down below, so I flew down to take a look. Zoey Helguard.
Metallicoe: are you a member of the ‘W-Hat’ group?
Zoey: … probably. Why?
Metallicoe: I heard that the ‘W-Hat’ group were planning to start a military.
Zoey: Wow, that didn’t take long.
Metallicoe: Do you know anything about it?
Zoey: Yeah, I was there when the decision got made.
Metallicoe: I also heard that once the group was formed, you were planning to organize a large scale attack on the Alliance Navy.
Zoey: Someone may have suggested something of that nature but it definately didn’t get approved.
Metallicoe: So is this mall being demolished to make room for a base?
Zoey: Yeah, probably in a day or two. The decision was only made like two nights ago.
Metallicoe: It was also mentioned that the military would be a ‘griefer army’
Zoey: Well I wouldn’t say that, but it certainly won’t resemble a conventional army.
Metallicoe: Do you know of any alliances you may endeavor?
Zoey: I doubt we will make any, I certainly haven’t heard any talk of any.
Metallicoe: How did the W-Hat group start?
Zoey: Well, I wasn’t around then, but as I understand it, a few goons from the ‘somethingawful.com’ forums heard about Second Life, and decided to go check it out. After a while, a bunch of them formed the group. We’re not really griefers per say, although there are griefers in the group. We actually think SL is an interesting concept. Just that its disguising how most people just use it to cyber and/or pretend they’re not horrible boring people in real life. We just like to shake people up, mainly. We resent any comparison to griefer groups like 4chan and PN, who are just a bunch of idiots going around shooting random people with cagers and leaving particle spammers everywhere. Anyway, as for the Army, you’d be able to get more information if you came around after labour day when things should actually get rolling.
So after that rather interesting yet confusing speech, I was left kind of baffled. I did not know what to say next. As I reflected on the conversation history, I thought I would try and elaborate on the sentence ‘Well I wouldn’t say that, but it certainly won’t resemble a conventional army.’
Metallicoe: So how will the W-Hat military be different to a conventional army?
Zoey: Well, like I said, the weapons/munitions are certainly going to be ‘unique’. I highly doubt any of the guns we will be using will actually fire bullets.
Metallicoe: So what will they be firing? These rabbit things your working on?
Zoey: Well I am making these as part of the build, yes. I’m hoping to make NPC combatants out of them.
Metallicoe: So the new military will be very… random? Suicidal rabbits and guns with no bullets?!
Zoey: I wouldn’t say RANDOM exactly. But normal, for sure.
Metallicoe: Right…
Zoey: Trust me – There is a difference.
Metallicoe: Any ideas for the name of the military?
Zoey: I don’t think we have got as far as the name.
Metallicoe: Do you have anything else to say?
Zoey: Well I can only say that anyone looking for a truly unique combat experience should definitely come check it out. It should be starting around Tuesday.
By the looks of the rabbits with guns and the astray prims in the sim, I would have to agree with Zoey. Anybody looking for a truly unique combat experience, check out the sim of ‘what’ later in the week. How will the established metaverse military powers respond to the asymmetric threat posed by unconventional SL warfare?
dumb
Sep 2nd, 2008
Dumb
Cockhoenut Koala
Sep 2nd, 2008
SO THE FAGGOTS HAVE TAKEN TO ROLE PLAYING?!
LOL!
Zrazor Rozenstrauch
Sep 2nd, 2008
I absolutely could not be more ecstatic about this. W-Hat’s antics, as illustrated on the Second Life Safari feature of Something Awful’s frontpage are part of the reason I joined SL.
Tizzers BnT
Sep 3rd, 2008
The Herald paid for an article by someone who hasn’t heard of W-Hat?
SGT Butttough Munster
Sep 3rd, 2008
So are we the good guys, or are we the bad guys?
Nidol Slazar
Sep 3rd, 2008
I’m kind of interested. =o
Militaries are pretty funny and drama infested, so I can’t really see AN, Mercz, Ordo, 39th, UNIT or any other army engaging in combat with them, and will probably ban W-Hat on sight. But the W-Hat crew are filled with creativity, something the milifag community could really use in this desperate need of change. Although I’m still skeptical about this being a dedication for laughs that will disappear within a week or so due to boredom, but good luck anyway.
Connie Sec
Sep 3rd, 2008
“its disguising how most people just use it to cyber and/or pretend they’re not horrible boring people in real life”
LOL..wow..and “he” probably works as a checkout chick at some godawful supermarket..what a LOSER.
Ivy Contepomi
Sep 3rd, 2008
“Militaries are pretty funny and drama infested, so I can’t really see AN, Mercz, Ordo, 39th, UNIT or any other army engaging in combat with them, and will probably ban W-Hat on sight.”
There is no combat to engage in them, so you’re correct, the majority of the armies probably won’t.
While I think W-hats concept of an army is mildly amusing at the very least, what are the “real” military groups supposed to do when an “army” with guns that have no bullets to do when they come “attacking”?
Bennie
Sep 3rd, 2008
“its disguising how most people just use it to cyber and/or pretend they’re not horrible boring people in real life”
Huh? I dont think SL is disguising anything at all…
Everyone knows it’s main use is for boring people to cyber and pretend to be more then they are in RL. And as a barbie(c) world for the ladies who play SL.
Not too sure about that last bit tho, there’s no women on the internet, everyone knows that.
rofl
Sep 3rd, 2008
How cute, PN invades AN and Mercz in unarmed cardboard boxes and W-hat immediately screams that they are doing something original by creating their own military. No one cares about W-hat anymore, all they do is hold furfag orgies in their sim, conveniently located next to furnation.
General Drama
Sep 3rd, 2008
Rofl,
Typical PN, so not up on things you did not hear or notice that Furnation moved way off down to the south end of the world to get away from things, so they can yiff in their diapers in privacy…
Zoey Helgerud
Sep 4th, 2008
Nidol, I’m a well-paid web-developer and I date IN THE REAL WORLD (HOLY FUCK)
Alyx Stoklitsky
Sep 4th, 2008
Emit Time was cooler.
Zac
Sep 4th, 2008
Actually the decision was inspired by me getting rejected from the Merczateers for not capitalizing on my application. It has nothing to do with any PN antics, as I don’t keep up with those.
QQ
Sep 7th, 2008
Actually the decision was inspired by me getting rejected from the Merczateers for not capitalizing on my application. It has nothing to do with any PN antics, as I don’t keep up with those.
Posted by: Zac | September 04, 2008 at 08:15 PM
tl;dr you got butthurt at the Mercateerz for not accepting you into the group.
Also
….
…..
……
Can I drink your tears? :3
Zac
Sep 8th, 2008
no i applied as a joke
General Drama
Sep 8th, 2008
Then if it was a joke, then why do you care so much about it?