The Alphaville Herald

WeeWorld WeeMee Wears Justin Timberlake’s Wardrobe

by Alphaville Herald on 09/02/09 at 11:40 pm

by Sigmund Leominster

In my last excursion into the world of adolescents and ‘tweens, I became a new avatar, Pixeleen, and let loose my inner Barbie at the Barbie Girls™ virtual world. My latest trip was as a not-so-undercover reporter into WeeWorld, a virtual chat room populated by thousands of two-dimensional characters called WeeMees.

Sigmund Leominster goes WeeWee

WeeMees are not new. Users of Skype, AOL Instant Messenger, Windows Live Messenger, and Friends Reunited have been using WeeMees for years. You can create your own South Park-like avatars, kit them out in an assortment of outfits, and have them appear as your alter ego.
And now there’s a new dimension to the WeeMee phenomenon: WeeWorld. Now WeeMees from across the globe can meet in a real-time 2D virtual world and do all the things that Second Life residents can do.

Or not.

After signing up as Sigmund Leominster and giving my true age (which is old enough to have credit cards and remember that my first virtual world was inside a Commodore 64), I was given the opportunity to create a WeeMee just like me. The piece de resistance was the all-important reporter accessory – the microphone. Now I felt like a real newshound.

I made my way to a local hotspot – Club Cavern in New Dome City. There I discovered that moving around is very similar to playing the old platform game, Donkey Kong, but without the fur and barrels.

new dome city

The commonest opening line from my fellow bouncers seemed to be “How old r u?” which suggests that people deemed this a critical question. Other starters included “Are u single?” and “Are you taken?” In fairness, I only spent around 45 minutes in total standing around waving my microphone but the WeeWorld folks have clearly hit their target demographic!

Sithlord0030 Becomes Famous in SLH

I engaged the attention of someone by the name of sithlord0300, who seemed to doubt my claim to be a reporter for the Second Life Herald. I can’t imagine why – hell, I was carrying a microphone!

“You’re Australian, right?” he asked.

“Nope, American. California.”

“Ah, I’m in NY.”

Having established real world location, age was next.

“How old are u?” he asked.

“Too old,” I answered. Being old enough to be a ‘tween’s father makes me nervous in case someone thinks I’m trawling for kiddies. I’m actually just trolling for lulz and L$ spacebux.

“I’m a writer, doing a piece on WeeWorld.”

“You mean an author,” he countered.”Bullcrap!”

With him being a Sith Lord, I was tempted to make a pinching motion and say, “I find you lack of faith disturbing.” However, there are no gestures available for WeeMees, and I suspect sithlord0300’s experience of Star Wars is primarily from the second trilogy, not the first. I’m too old, as I said.

“I don’t know if I can trust U,” he mused. Good thinking – I wouldn’t trust me, and I know me!

I was getting bored. All around me were little homunculi bobbing up and down and talking about boyfriends, girlfriends, David Archuleta, and things of little substance. In that regard, I suppose it’s just like Second Life. I clicked the Home button to go back to my wee little house that consists of a wall, a chair, and a window. Unlike SL, you get a free house. And unlike SL, it’s 2D and has no sex bed.

So what about the economy of WeeWorld? Every virtual world needs one to survive. WeeWorld lets you buy points, which in turn can be used to buy “stuff.” The current exchange rate is $1 US for 500 points. Obligingly, when you sign up, you can register your credit card or even use PayPal. If you’re a ‘tween – and you should be – you can steal mommy or daddy’s numbers or, as recommended, get permission first.

Can Wee Buy? Yes Wee Can!

And what can we buy? Well, as an example, it seems like Justin Timberlake is moving on from “getting his sexy  on” to selling his sexy online to WeeMees. Only last week a new range of tacky Timberlake trash was released so that stylish WeeMees can show their individuality by dressing just like Justin; well, just like Justin if he were a squishy 2D cartoon with a face like Eric Cartman. For a mere 1750 points (that’s $3.50 for the mathematically impaired) I was able to get my OWN sexy on with a spiffy little hat and a devastatingly cool shirt and tie combo with pinstriped vest. Yummy! I could sense the sexy oozing from my stumpy little body.

Siggy goes JT

In an uncanny example of serendipity at work, the button under my newly togged out Timberlake outfit had the words “Save me now!” on it. Need I say more?

The whole JT range (yes, he’s “JT” in the designer world) will only set you back 4400 points – that’s a mere $8.80 US. On the other hand, that works out as L$2640, enough for me to hit Alphamale hard, stock up at Cattiva e Cattivo, or make the guys at Hoorenbeek happy. I mean, what simple-minded loser is going to spend real money on fake WeeWorld clothes when you can get the real things in Second Life?

I doubt I’m going back to WeeWorld. Not because it’s stupid or childish or pointless, because that’s true of all virtual worlds. I won’t be back because the creators seem to have succeeded in what they wanted to do: provide a chat room for the “younger crowd.” It has the backing of two venture capital firms, Accel Partners (www.accel.com) and Benchmark Capital (www.benchmark.com) – who also invest in Linden Lab – but I’m skeptical of the in-world economy being able to generate significant amounts of cash, whether Justin Timberlake is involved or not.

However, for what it’s worth, I think it has the edge over Barbie Girls.