Come to SLCC 2010: Hillsville, VA

by Alphaville Herald on 04/03/09 at 7:49 am

Plan to attend the next Second Life Community Convention!

by Pappy Enoch

I been reading New (Fake) Wirld Notes by Mistophur Au (http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/2009/03/conventional.html) how the city folks am fightin’ worse than a barrel of starvin’ pole cats about where tu have that SLCC corn-vention.

Stop bein’ so dang ornery! I ain’t got the money tu git my butt toSan Fran o’ Lost Vegas, so here am a rite fine idear that will satisfyeveryboddy: y’all come on East fo’ a change! Hillsville am the place!

Y’all just sit down while I makes my case fo’ Hillsville, VA. Tell them Lindens tu listen up! 2010 am gonna be here any day now!

Haute Cuisine: Hillsville Diner

Now we gots our share o’fast food fodder n’ whatnot. Forgit it! Visit our famus diner. Theygots homemade pies an’ the best dang blue-plate specials in theMountuns. On weekends we brings up our hot-rods tu show ‘em off!

I recommends the chicken-fried steak wif taters n’ peas n’ a Co-cola tu make a natural-born man yell “Hoo Whee!”

Diner closes rite early an’ don’t take no charge-plates. In Gawd we trust: yu pays cash.

Fine Shoppin’ Boutiques:

Harmon’s “Boot Capital of VA” http://www.harmonstore.com gots steals n’ deals on Justin, Levis, Wrangler, Lee, Carhart, Stetson,an so much more it makes a po’ boy want to rob a bank, just so he kindress up like a big-bug. Pappy’s pick: Justin Goat-skin work gloves.They fits rite good an am soft as a city-gal’s behind.

Big Flea Market & Gun Show: Since ya’ll likes tu meet nigh untoLabur Day yu mite catch some deals at the show! Then yu kin go rootin’in yo’ trucks n’ shoot sum’fin. http://www.vfw1115fleamarketgunshow.com/

Cultural Atrackshuns:

After I empties my pockets in ol’ man Harmon’s store, I luvs cruisin’ thru his Harmon Museum http://www.harmonstore.com/ Theygots Civil War stuff (about how we won it, of course) an’ the 1912shoot-em-up at the Hillsville Courthouse. Sum o’ mah ancesturs frumEnoch Holler was there, but none of ‘em got shot—damn shame, sum Heraldreaders mite be thinkin’ now.

Franklin County, “the wettest county in the wirld” am not a farpiece up the road frum Hillsville. They stuck a fancified name on the“Histerical Society,” but it got mighty fine displays on makin’ Shinean’ runnin’ frum the law. http://www.franklincountyvirginiahistoricalsoc.org/

Old Fiddler’s Convention: http://www.oldfiddlersconvention.com/ Galax VA ain’t far, and the fiddlers rosin up their bows every August(early on). So hop in the truck an’ visit us early so’s yu kin git atwo-fer: Bluegrass/Ol’ Timey AND SLCC!

Town of Floyd: Live Bluegrass at the Country Store: dance, sing,eat an’ drink tu much an still git tu church tu repent on Sundays: http://www.floydcountrystore.com/

Hell, yu cain’t toss an empty jug in Floyd wif’out hittin’ a good musician. http://www.floydvirginia.com/music/index.html

Places tu Stay:

NowI reckon yu cood check intu some ding-dang motel o’ bread-for-breakfastplace, but yu ain’t gonna du no better’n campin’ in Hillsville or thereabouts. They am awl set up fo’ motur-homes o’ tents.

Jist string up some colored lites, open sum strong drink, and letthe good times roll! Yu kin git drunk n’ nekkid any ol’ place inAugust. Sleep on the dang ground if’n it blows yo’ hair back.

See awl yu city folks in Hillsville in 2010!

9 Responses to “Come to SLCC 2010: Hillsville, VA”

surreality

Mar 4th, 2009

Pretty funny, though I was a little disappointed, after clicking through the headline from my feed reader, to discover that there isn’t really a SL gathering planned for Hillsville, which is in fact in a lovely area in the Blue Ridge Mountains (and very convenient to my RL home). And the Galax Fiddler’s Convention is awesome!
Just Me

Mar 4th, 2009

Any good-ol’ boy knows it’s “Lost Wages” , not “Lost Vegas” !
Crap Mariner

Mar 4th, 2009

Hoooo wheeeee… that’s quite a savings over dem dar Vegas and San Francisco!

Does Greyhound sell First Class tickets?

-ls/cm
Pappy Enoch, Cub Reporter

Mar 4th, 2009

@ Just Me:

Yu writ “Any good-ol’ boy knows it’s “Lost Wages” , not “Lost Vegas” ! ”

I ain’t got no wages tu lose, ol’ son. So I’d bee lost in Vegas, less’n I cood hit a fat-cat ovur the head an’ git sum foldin’ money.

I wished Miss Pixeleen had run them-thar pics I dun sent o’ the flea market, the diner, an’ whatnot. Yu just Barney-Google “Hillsville Diner” in the Images part an’ yu’ll know why it am a piece o’ heaven (as corn-pared to SL, anysohow).
Jumpman Lane

Mar 4th, 2009

i’m gonna tell ya some good shit. I’m from VA and know exactly where hillsville is. come down here with that bullshit. You might not make it home. i’m goin to one of these rl meet ups one day and put my foot in some asses.
Eva Ryan

Mar 5th, 2009

/me plays Dueling Banjos for ambiance.
Melissa Yeuxdoux

Mar 5th, 2009

You know, one of the advantages of being a programmer is that not everybody thinks they can be a programmer. People don’t pull you aside at parties and urge you to look at this new sort routine they just wrote.

OTOH, just about everybody thinks they can be funny.

This article shows that not everybody can be funny.
Jumpman Lane

Mar 5th, 2009

hehehehe say that two times melissa.
non

Mar 8th, 2009

OMG This scared the shit out of me to see in my feed reader. I live near there!